Category: Problem Solving

One of the best things a teacher can do for a student isn’t give them answers—it’s to spark a curiosity around a good question.

Answers represent outside-in information. Questions elicit inside-out information. The two are not the same.

Copy and paste an answer into your life and it won’t be long before you hit another wall that’ll require new outside information.

Start a fire inside that’s curious enough about answering a good question and watch as walls are continuously burned down time and again.

The caveat here is centered around the idea of the question being “good.” Just any question won’t do. In fact, some questions suck and may even have the opposite of the desired effect.

For example, if somebody asked me how they can lose 30 pounds in 30 days—I’d tell them their question sucks. There are things I could tell them that might help with that, but that doesn’t make me a good teacher.

What would make me a good (better) teacher is reframing the question (in this instance).

Depending on who I’m speaking with, I might reframe the question to, “Why do you feel like you need to lose 30 pounds in 30 days?” And let that lead them down a path of introspective work around identity and self-worth. Or “What’s something you feel like you can do for 30 years, that’ll make you feel healthier/ happier?” And let them chew on the idea of making lifestyle changes that are free of finish lines. And so forth.

With that, I leave you with two questions: (1) What’s the primary question you’re trying to answer in your life now? (2) Is there a better question?

I lost my voice yesterday.

And while it was fun “retracing my steps” and “looking all over the school” with some of my young students who were trying to help me “find” it—losing your voice isn’t fun business.

Especially not when your voice is such an integral part of your business. Which is why today, I’m thankful for it. It really is funny how you don’t think to appreciate a thing until it’s gone. I’m fairly confident this wouldn’t have made it to my 15 day list if this hadn’t happened.

None-the-less, here we are. And here I am, bracing myself for an upcoming series of Martial Arts graduation ceremonies, classes, and coaching sessions that require a functioning voice box (and a damn loud one at that). And a question I’ve been reflecting on that has guided me in many challenging situations before is, “What good can come from this?”

…And you know what’s funny about reflecting on that question? You tend to find good things buried inside even crappy situations. Because the reality is—I’m not getting it back today. No sense dwelling on that. But, letting my mind dwell in the realm of creative solutions can be helpful for sure.

And what I’m now seeing are excellent opportunities for team members and students to step up—not only to help me out, but to help themselves out by building skills inside higher pressure situations that they don’t normally get to step into.

So you know what I’m going to do today?

…Let those who are willing step into them.

You can curse every obstruction on your path.

And then later…

Curse your younger self for wasting all of that time spent cursing the unavoidable obstructions on your path that you could’ve just dealt with plainly and straight up.

Or… now hear me out…

You can deal with the obstructions on your path plainly and straight up.

P.s. 20 Quotes on Overcoming Obstacles to Help You Face What You’re Facing.

Worrying about tomorrow isn’t all that helpful.

Fortifying yourself today, is.

• Reading might not solve any problems in your life right now…
• Writing might not make your mind magically more clear today…
• Meditating might not teach you how to have an overall more calm demeanor after one session…

But, each of those will be a helluva lot more helpful for tomorrow than worrying ever will be.

…And after doing them for weeks? …Months? …Years? …The benefit is undeniable.

So, the next time you find yourself in a moment of worry/ anxiety: try replacing the time you spend playing out worst-case scenarios with self-fortifying activities.

Channel the energy you normally would spend on self-depleting thoughts and funnel it into a self-fortifying task so you can meet your challenges tomorrow when they arrive—better than you are now.

…Better that than trying to meet your challenges in every single mind-numbing moment leading up to them, leaving you more drained and exhausted than there’s any reason for.

P.s. In case you missed it, I had a great conversation with Jeanne Torre and Emily Leahy about going from Burnout to Balanced in life. You can listen to the replay here.