Category: Priorities

…Is it true that, as the expression goes, family [should be prioritized] over everything?

No—if you’re talking about prioritizing family over yourself. Yes—if you’re talking about what priority comes first after you. You wouldn’t be doing anybody a service by ignoring your own needs, trying to service others from a state of misery, and—as the proverbial expression goes—fill family members’ cups from your empty one. There’s a bit of a caveat when considering high-need dependents. And even then, the priority of the dependents and the needs of the self should be intricately intertwined and considered with equal priority… looked at as almost one unit instead of two.

No—if your definition of family is limited to blood relatives. Yes—if your definition of family is inclusive of those who have proven to be the most important to you in your life. Proven is the key word. Being a blood relative who can’t be trusted… who has a history of manipulation or abuse… who takes advantage or always seems to have an agenda… shouldn’t be prioritized over someone who has proven themselves—over an extended period of time—to be the exact opposite of that. Family should be defined beyond blood.

Two fundamental keys to feeling fulfilled in life are growth and contribution. Point #1 above speaks to growth. Point #2 speaks to who you should contribute to first and foremostly. Do these two things really well and the rest—everything else—I’d say will fall into place.

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Inner Work Prompt: I was asked, “Who is a person you met only once that had an impact on your life?” I answered: The Almonds Guy. What about you?

One of my daily goals is to upload 2-3 quotes from books/emails and 2-3 picture quotes to MoveMe Quotes each day.

It can take me anywhere from 15 – 45 minutes to do this.

Lately, I’ve been questioning whether this is a good time investment or not as I could very well invest that time into other priority tasks like more writing/meditation/productivity/etc.

What I’ve decided is this: it all comes down to the intention I bring to the tasks.

There are days when I’m rushing and I’m just trying to cross each item off my list—and on these days, it isn’t worth the investment.

And there are days when I’m more calm and present and I’m genuinely trying to absorb the message each quote is trying to convey—and on these days, it’s undoubtedly worth it.

I can remember assignments I was given in school that I absolutely didn’t want to do or majorly rushed, and guess what? I got very little, if anything, out of them.

And on the flip side, there are things I became curious about while I was a student, that I wasn’t assigned to learn about at all, that I learned so much about because I wanted to. Things that I still remember vividly today.

It’s good practice to question the tasks built into your daily routine. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing this thing?” “Am I just trying to cross this off my list or am I actually invested?” “What’s the level of intention behind this task?”

…And if the intention isn’t there… maybe the task shouldn’t be either.

If you don’t plan recharge intensity accordingly, you’ll most likely compensate for intense busyness in other, maybe less obvious ways.

Going back to my strategy game example from yesterday, and when I think about the spectrum of activities I might do to appropriately recharge from an intensely busy day, this seems to me to be a higher intensity recharge task. Versus working on my side hustle, for example, which can feel very much like continued work/busyness and is maybe something I’d be less likely to do when I’m coming off some of my most busy days.

And when I think about people who lead the busiest lifestyles, I tend to see a similar pattern, where the busier they are the more mind-numbing types of tasks they tend to seek. Things like video gaming, partying, drinking, clubbing, TV binging, doing drugs, and so on.

Whereas people who balance recharge intensity more proportionally tend to come off their days with more energy for (additional) mind-stimulating types of tasks. Things like working on their side hustle or passion project(s), spending quality time playing with their children, having more involved conversations with loved ones, doing chores to help around the house, exercise, prepare dinner, and so on…

Worth thinking about is what types of activities you typically default to at the end of your days… more mind-numbing or more mind-stimulating types of tasks? The answer could reveal a change you might want to make to the former parts of your days.

A simple way to cut through the noise of your life and get a clear signal on what your top priority focus should be.

Ready?

Here it is: You are granted one wish from a magic genie—but it has a condition attached to it… it can’t be for anything tangible—including money.

In other words, you can’t wish for lottery money, mansions, luxury lifestyles, or Lamborghinis.

But, you can wish for deeper connections, a better love life, more courage, peace of mind, restored health, more specific knowledge, a group of raving fans, sharper or more diverse skillsets, etc.

And don’t give yourself too much time to think about it… because the wish is valid for only ten seconds after you finish reading this post…!

So, what’ll it be…?!

10…

9…

8…

7…

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P.s. …THAT, my friend, is where your focus should be.

When I get excited about something, like a creative project, I tend to obsess.

I’ll work on it early, I’ll work on it late, and I’ll cut from my day as many of my other tasks/priorities as I can to maximize my ability to keep working on it.

This happens when I’m redesigning websites, choreographing new martial arts material, authoring new digital products, reorganizing spaces, learning new skills, and so on.

Most recently, I’ve been rebuilding my martial arts school’s pro-shop.

It was in desperate need of an update after having been essentially ignored for years.

What I’ve been trying to manage more mindfully this time around, however, as I undertake this creative project, is how I balance my time and to resist devoting too much at once to its completion.

I wanted to stay late to finish the whole project last week… but, I kept it to only one extra hour and allowed myself to leave before its completion.

I wanted to go in early to get a head start… but, I resisted.

I even wanted to go in on Sunday to finish… but, didn’t

What I’m trying to teach myself is to take that gifted creative energy and roll it into my other tasks. How can I use this energy to get my other priority tasks done? How can I take this excitement and use it to boost my mood? How can I take this burst of inspiration and roll it into my writing?

While there’s nothing wrong with going all-in and riding that creative wave with everything you’ve got… learning to stretch that wave and balance yourself in the process might lead to a far greater return.

If you don’t have time in your day to:

• Exercise
• Eat Right
• Read and/or Write
• Bond with Friends/Family
• Enjoy Some Down Time / Just Be

…You’re too busy.

And while I’m sure you can argue your case for why you can’t do some or all of the above things… hold that thought and read the next line carefully:

Don’t argue for your limitations.

Put your argument energy to better use and ask yourself a better question:

“What can I eliminate, delegate, automate, or reduce… so that I CAN have time to do the above things every day?”

Because what I think you’ll find is that the more you argue for your limitations—the more of a reality they’ll continue to be… and the more you question your limitations, the less and less they’ll be.

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P.s. I sip on coffee while I write these. If you enjoy these posts, you can support my future work by supplying me with one of my next cups of joe here.