Category: Perception Is Reality

One of my students set up a self-defense class at a local women’s shelter for those who were victims of violence/abuse.

Being a women who had been in a women’s shelter before, it was something this student felt strongly about.

Being a man, it was something I couldn’t take the lead on because men aren’t allowed in the shelters.

And after reaching out to my female instructors, we came to find out that none of them were available to run it on the day and time requested.

And so rather than cancel, an opportunity presented itself.

…An opportunity for student to step into the role of instructor. An opportunity for student to lean into a topic they felt passionately about and start taking initiative in how that energy can be manifested. An opportunity to alchemize a traumatic experience into an incredibly powerful healing and educational experience that could be shared with others.

Sometimes things don’t line up the way you want them to or play out how you imagined them playing out… and oftentimes, it’s simply because there’s another opportunity in the mix that simply wouldn’t have come up without things unfolding exactly how they did.

Today, I read a quote from Ryan Holiday that illustrates the power of gratitude and how it can completely transform situations:

• “That troublesome client—thank you, it’s helping me develop better boundaries.
• That traffic jam—thank you, it gave me time to call my wife and have a nice, meandering conversation.
• That rejection email—thank you, it forced me to reevaluate and improve my work.
• The political realities of our time–thank you, it’s a chance to test myself, to really stick to what I believe in.
• That loss—thank you, for reminding me of what truly matters in life.”

I liked it so much, I thought I’d reflect on and add a perspective shifter to five situations I’m finding hard in my own life:

• Thrown out back—thank you, it’s forcing me to spend more time strategizing how I care for and strengthen such a crucial part of my body.
• Wasted time spend on social media—thank you, for reminding me of the importance of being totally logged out of apps.
• A steady decrease in subscriber count—thank you, for forcing me to think more creatively about sharing my work.
• Lonely nights—thank you, for giving me ample time to read, write, create, recharge, and explore my inner depths.
• Family health scares—thank you, for reminding me of the preciousness of life and to not take any moments together for granted.

…Your turn. Reflect on five situations you’ve been having a hard time with. Is there a perspective that could transform each of them for you?

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

I’ve been dreading taking my car to the shop for its annual inspection for a couple months now.

And not for any reason other than it’s an inconvenience in my day. You know how it goes: I have to arrange for someone to pick me up (and inconvenience their day), figure out what to do for the unknown amount of time it’ll take for the inspection to complete, and then arrange a drop back off once that call comes at some random number of hours later (please stay on call for me while I wait)…

Lucky for me, I have retired parents who can actually be that flexible person for me.

…And you know what?

Today, my mom picked me up after I dropped my car off… we stopped over at my sister’s house and took care of her cats… we got breakfast and caught up for a few hours… we did some errands and crossed a few shopping items off both our lists… and it turned into a really nice excuse to just spend some time together.

My inner work prompt for you today is simply this: where’s the opportunity in this task that you can’t help but feel dread towards? How might this be used or transfused into an excuse to do something nice/fun/productive?

As I reflect on my day, I realize I spent a large portion of it feeling frustrated.

…For reasons I believe justify those feelings of frustration.

But I also recognize, in retrospect, that the more I justified those feelings throughout the day, the worse the frustration got.

…And that felt to me, for this specific set of circumstances, like a bigger mistake than the ones that were made that led to my frustration in the first place.

If it is what it is… then I simply need to do what can be done.

Making frustrations bigger doesn’t make problems any smaller.

Some gratitude notes from the past few days:

• The temperature has been nearly perfect here in Buffalo, NY, USA. Now that it’s autumn, it drops to a cool 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) at night for sleeping and then warms back up to a beautiful 70 during the day for living. This is my absolute favorite weather of the year.
• I caught a whiff of fresh firewood being burned on one of the above mentioned cool nights recently. It nearly lifted me off the face of the earth it was so heavenly.
• One of my students shared with me that he works overnights from 11pm – 7am… and that he hates it and hasn’t been sleeping because of it. I sometimes find myself complaining about my work hours… but, after that spoonful of perspective… I suddenly felt super grateful for them.

It’s good to refresh your gratitude list every now and again—with specific things you’ve noticed in your life as of late. And writing them down makes the practice even better.

…What are some gratitude notes from some of your past few days?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what was posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

Seeing the number of subscribers go down on my email lists makes me want to write and publish less. Reading the comments from readers who resonated with what I wrote makes me want to write more.

Training with people who are arrogant and chronic complainers makes me want to train a whole lot less. Training with people who are humble and hard working makes me want to train a whole lot more.

Working with people who are lazy and who have other people do most of their work for them makes me want to help that person a bunch less. Working with people who are focused and who take initiative to get more than their fair share done makes me want to help them a bunch more.

If you’re feeling some kind of way about your work, training, creative processes, etc—check your inputs. When you focus too much on the ones that upset, frustrate, and pain you—it’s no wonder you’re feeling badly about the process as a whole.

P.s. If something I’ve written has resonated with you and you’d like to support this ongoing project, you can hook me up with a coffee here :)