Category: Perception Is Reality

Happy Birthday, Ma

Published on January 8, 2024

Today is my mom’s birthday.

And one of my favorite lessons I’ve learned from her is that we humans age like fine wine (she loves a regular glass of red wine so as cliché as it is, it felt too appropriate).

We don’t get worse with age… we get better.

We don’t move away from our prime… we continue to grow as our definition of “prime” grows.

We don’t lose parts of ourselves as we age… we gain deeper understanding of ourselves with each reflected upon experience.

We don’t attach to some pinnacle point in our past… we keep our bags packed light and look towards our next mountain as we continue our climb.

A new decade or a new year isn’t something to be feared… it’s something to be celebrated.

There is no number of trips around the sun that’ll suddenly make you “old,” only stories you can tell yourself that’ll either cause atrophy or spark new growth.

…And there’s always a story you can tell yourself that’ll spark new growth.

Especially when today marks the milestone day when you are the wisest and most self-aware you have ever been in your entire life.

…Which, I’d say, is a cause for celebration, indeed.

P.s. We watched Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom (2019) yesterday as part of our celebration and all thought it was really great. Would recommend.

Hair-Pulling Issues

Published on November 29, 2023

I’ve been experiencing some hair-pulling email issues over the past few days.

Things that were supposed to happen when somebody opts in to get my daily or weekly emails, wasn’t. The plugins and forms that were supposed to fix the problems, weren’t. And when I invested $800+ for a Cyber Monday deal to switch to a new email service provider… I quickly realized that they came with their own set of new, hair-pulling issues that I’d have to resolve. And so it has gone so far this week…

But then…

I heard that one of my students’ mom got her finger broken by her autistic daughter…

And that one of my coworker’s sisters was in the hospital…

And that one of my students’ dad passed away…

And that another one of my students’ mom passed away which lead him to drop everything and fly to the other side of the planet to be with his family…

And I remembered…

Email issues are laughable issues in the grand scheme of things.

When you’re feeling like you’re about ready to pull your hair out over the issues you’re facing in your life… try zooming out from your micro perspective and soaking in issues from a wider lens.

…Not because we want to think about bigger, badder, more heart-wrenching issues… but, because we want to gain perspective.

…So that we can ease our way back into our lives with a deeper sense of understanding and so we can revisit our “hair pulling issues” from a new head space.

…One that maybe puts “hair pulling issues” in air quotes and no longer has them bolded and underlined.

One Of Those DAYS

Published on November 10, 2023

I had myself A DAY today.

You know, one of those days where nothing seems to go right.

Like when you try and print stacks of really important papers… and they come out on 11×17 paper instead of 8.5 x 11 paper.

Or when you try and print a different stack of really important papers… and they come out on 8.5 x 11 paper instead of 11 x 17 paper—even though you triple checked the settings.

Or when you try to hurry past barriers set up in an open room by unhooking, swinging, and limboing under the poles… and you cause the entire barrier wall to tip like dominoes leaving each pole and draped cloth spanning over 100 feet collapsed on the ground.

(…All true stories from today).

Yeah. One of THOSE kinds of days. Ever have one of them? Well, here’s something I did that helped turn it around…

When I caught myself mentally complaining (it’s a rare moment that that actually happens)… I decided to consciously try to reframe my perspective with the question: what can I find that’s going right…?

Because, as is the case 99% of the time in life, there’s PLENTY going right.

…My health was in tact. I didn’t have a toothache. My friends and family were well. I wasn’t throwing up sick. It wasn’t snowing and icy. I woke up on time. Heck, I woke up. My tire wasn’t flat. And so on…

Remembering to count your blessings each and every time you catch yourself complaining about your problems is the secret to creating more blessings than problems in your life.

And the best part is: the former ALWAYS outweigh the latter.

Whole Ordeal? Or Happy Opportunity?

Published on September 26, 2023

My neighbor is a retired florist with several decades of experience.

She now makes arrangements out of her house as a side gig.

…And they’re outstanding.

One Saturday, I got a call from this neighbor asking me if my mom was still going to be picking up an order that was placed. After speaking with my mom, it quickly became obvious that I got the dates wrong.

The arrangement was supposed to be made for the following weekend and there she was, waiting with an arrangement on the current weekend.

So, what did my mom do?

…Went and picked it up. Paid for it in full. Said nothing of the confusion on my part. And said to me, “This is perfect—I’ll give them to Marvin (her partner) as a just-because gift.”

And what could’ve been a whole ordeal turned into a happy opportunity.

Food for thought for the next time you’re going through a “whole ordeal” yourself.

Really Notice

Published on August 20, 2023

The other night I asked my adult martial arts class, “Who feels like they’re at 100%?”

“…As in no aches, no pains, no tweaks, no bodily issues, no lagging exhaustion?”

And to my surprise, maybe 7 out of 35 raised their hand—one of whom was one of the oldest students in class.

It seems increasingly rare to me to speak with somebody who doesn’t have some type of ache, pain, tweak, bodily issue, or lagging exhaustion.

In fact, it often feels like it acts as the center of our attention and resultantly, becomes the center of our conversations, too.

Imagine, however, if we were able to notice—really notice—the miracle that is the days when we feel like we’re at 100%. It isn’t often, I’d say, but it isn’t never, either (hopefully).

Furthermore, what if we were able to notice—really notice—the miracle that is everything going right… all of the parts of ourselves that don’t ache, hurt, annoy, tire, and frustrate us.

My guess is that we often take both for granted and allow distractions to do what they do so well. But, I’m also going to guess that the more we’re able to do the really noticing, the closer to 100% we’ll get—even without any physical changes.

Language Dreams

Published on April 21, 2023

As I took my seat on a flight today, I couldn’t help but notice my neighbor using sign language over FaceTime. He was presumably speaking to a friend who was signing back over the tiny screen that was propped up in the back of his airplane seat.

I watched in wonder as the two of them fired back and forth hand manipulations and body gestures that contained the depth and precision of the entire Merriam-Webster dictionary.

A few hours later, long after the FaceTime call ended, I saw this gentlemen signing again. But, there wasn’t anyone around who had been signing with him the whole trip so I took a closer look and realized… he was dozing off. In the midst of falling asleep, he was signing… his dreams and/or thoughts.

I have no idea what they were, but boy did this light me up.

It reminded me of a time when I studied extra hard for an oral Spanish final and dreamed in Spanish the night it was over. It didn’t last very long, but it blew my mind the morning after.

We dream in the language we know. And not just that—we dream within the confines of the words (gestures) we know inside the language. If you want to dream more deeply, more vividly, more precisely—not just while you sleep, but while you’re awake—explore the depths of your language.

A Lotta Perspective

Published on April 7, 2023

Today, while driving down a narrow, backcountry road, I pulled over as an ambulance (lights flashing) came driving towards me.

To my surprise, this was met with a long BEEEEEEEEP from a driver behind me.

The driver was inaudibly yelling and waving his hands around in a dramatic, flamboyant manner that was obviously trying to communicate a level of upset that simply baffled me.

Like, I literally pulled over for approximately 5 seconds, to let an emergency vehicle more easily pass…?

None-the-less, I continued driving casually only to arrive at the scene of a pretty intense accident not long thereafter—complete with ambulances, police cars, and tow trucks.

The scene took up the entire space of the road that my GPS had me routed to drive through and so what did I do? Signaled, pulled over to the side of the road, and contemplated the scene until I knew what I could safely do.

Not even 1 minute later, what does the guy behind me do? Slam on the gas, screech his bald tires around me, and drift his way into a right turn ahead, while again… inaudibly trying to communicate some infuriated message to me.

Today’s message is a simple one and it comes from what my mom said in response to this driver… what could be so important that you don’t have time (seconds) to pull over for an emergency vehicle or need to floor it around our pulled over car when evidently… somebody right in front of us (or passing us) was quite possibly having the worst day of their life?

Life is hard—I get it. But, sometimes a little compassion can give a lotta perspective.