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Category: Thinking Clearly

When Fear Gets Caught In Your Throat

Published on July 28, 2021

When choking, a drastic and sudden thrust is required—either by cough or Heimlich maneuver.

When choking on fear, maybe what’s required is the same—a drastic and sudden thrust.

Either by temporary uncharacteristic courage or by clever maneuvers against the mind.

Some people’s most memorable moments were closely preceded by the phrase: “F*ck it.”

Why? Because it allowed them out-maneuver the belittling thoughts of their mind and thrust forward, uncharacteristically, into the fear of the presented unknown.

This isn’t always good advice. But, when it is, it’s precisely the kind of Heimlich maneuver required to free a person from the suffocation of a comfort-zone filled life.

To All The “Rocks” Out There

Published on July 27, 2021

To all those who act as a”rock” for others in their lives—thank you.

Being a rock in the middle of a raging river is never easy.

And many times, it can feel like a thankless job.

People spew their problems, burdens, and drama onto those who they consider their “rock” so they can slow the rage that’s going on in their mind.

And once they get it all out, they slowly maneuver their exit, rejoin the raging river, and only return when the rage is, yet again, too much for them to handle.

And that’s okay.

Keep being the rock.

Keep yourself grounded into the riverbed. Keep doing what’s hard and stay true to the rock’s course: here. Present. Undisturbed by what’s rushing and immediate. Focused on bringing calm and ease to the raging world all around.

Joining the ever increasing speed of the river and raging with the rest is tempting—it’s the path of the many. Being the rock is the choice and the gift given to us by the few.

The world doesn’t need any help speeding up. It needs help slowing down. And that’s precisely what the rocks in the world do. And for that, and once again, I thank you.

Strengthening A Weakness Or Weakening A Strength?

Published on July 26, 2021

Creatives are good at creating; marketers are good at marketing; managers are good at managing.

When creatives realize they need to market their creations—they might try to learn the skills of a marketer.

When marketers realize they could profit more from their own creations—they might try to learn the skills of a creative.

And sometimes, the creative or the marketer might even decide to start and manage their own business where they must learn the skills of the creative, the marker, and the manager.

Here’s what you need to ask yourself: is the time I’m investing in learning how to improve upon my weaker areas as beneficial as the time I could be investing in tripling down on my strengths? Would I be better off teaming up with someone whose strengths compliment my weaknesses?

When you seek to strengthen a weakness, be careful you don’t end up weakening a strength.

The Real Reason For Your Stuck-ness

Published on July 23, 2021

When stuck, most people will blame circumstance.

But, what’s really holding them in place is what they believe to be true about those circumstances.

  • I can’t lose weight because I was born with an awful metabolism (blaming circumstance). Underlying belief: I’m the type of person who can’t lose weight.
  • I have awful anxiety because of how I was raised (blaming circumstance). Underlying belief: I deserve to have awful anxiety.
  • I’m going to be single forever because whenever I open up to people, I get hurt (blaming circumstances). Underlying belief: No relationship will ever honor my vulnerability.

Your beliefs are the real source of your stuck-ness.

Change your beliefs and you’ll finally be able to change your scenery.

If You Want To Change How You Act—Start Here…

Published on July 22, 2021

We think—then we feel—then we act.

Even when we think we act before we think or feel—we don’t.

We simply act really quickly in response to something we think and then feel.

Like when you get cut off in traffic. You don’t just act without a thought or feeling.

You just go from, “What are you doing you idiot?!?!” to feeling threatened to responding with road rage in what feels like a thoughtless snap.

Because that’s the response you’ve spent the most time training. Every time someone cut you off, right from the very beginning, that was the thought, feeling, action sequence that you practiced. And so it became a habit. So much so, that it feels thoughtless to you.

But it’s not. And it can be changed. Just like any other bad habit.

But first, you have to change how you think about those bad habits.

Rather than,“What are you doing you idiot?!?!” think, “Wow, I’m so thankful for my reaction time—this person obviously didn’t know what they were doing.” And let that lead to feeling proud of yourself for your awareness/ reaction time. And let that lead to a heightened sense of gratitude rather than road rage.

So long as you continue to think of the drivers around you as idiots, the feelings of being threatened will continue to emerge, and the response will continue to be road rage.

If you want to change how you act, change how you think, first.

The Paradox Of Beliefs And Actions

Published on July 17, 2021

When we’re worried, we look for things to worry about.

When we’re angry, we look for things to be angry about.

When we’re irritable, we look for things to be irritated about.

The same follows for beliefs, too.

When we believe we’re stuck, we look for reasons to confirm our stuck-ness.

When we believe we’re victims, we look for reasons to confirm our victimhood.

When we believe we’re worthless, we look for reasons to confirm our worthlessness.

Our beliefs dictate our actions. We certainly don’t instinctually act in opposition to our beliefs. However, our actions are precisely what dictate our beliefs.

Here’s the thing: if you can figure out how to act in opposition to the beliefs that don’t serve you—you will have figured out the key to changing your beliefs altogether.

Anger Is Temporary Madness

Published on July 16, 2021

I reiterate: temporary madness.

Give it some space. Take some time away from the situation. Become sane again.

Let the haze of emotion settle so that what’s left is rational action.

Then, in your normal, non-maddened state—respond.

Remember, step 1 to solving any problem is: don’t make things worse than they need to be.

And acting in anger—in madness—almost always trashes step 1.