Category: Thinking Clearly

Authentic Media

Published on October 31, 2022

Sharing publicly a highlight-reel version of our lives feels like it’s in our best interest because it:

Makes us “more attractive”
May lead to more opportunities
Can capture attention that can be leveraged

What’s really in our best interest is sharing an authentic version of our lives because it:

Attracts an authentic tribe
Leads to more aligned opportunities
Captures attention from the right people

Worth mentioning that these two aren’t mutually exclusive, though.

A public presence can certainly feature both—we can have an authentic highlight-reel.

But, more often than not, the former is focused on at the expense of the latter. And our mental health pays a toll in the long-run.

P.s. I asked: “What cleanses your soul?” I hope the answers inspire you to do more of what cleanses yours.

Information Swimming

Published on October 28, 2022

Information is an ocean—and most of us are drowning.

Those who get ahead, are the ones who learn to swim.

They take the ocean seriously and never mindlessly wander into its depths.

They learn how to float; how to tread; how to stroke; how to dive; how to navigate.

Similarly, proficient swimmers in today’s information-based world learn how to:

Focus. So they don’t recklessly flap, twist, turn, and click with every distraction (i.e. Turning on an ad-blocker or putting notifications on silent).
Refine. So that each stroke/ click gets them better at future swimming (clicking)—not worse (i.e. Utilizing the Unfollow/ Mute/ Block buttons and more mindfully choosing who to follow and where to click).
Reflect. Because sometimes the ocean gets the best of even great swimmers. And maybe they take in a bunch of salt water through the nose or get caught under a big crashing wave (sucked into a YouTube rabbit hole). It’s in those moments that you have to figure out how you might handle the same situation from repeating in the future. Those who don’t reflect—don’t improve.

Being in an ocean when you don’t know how to swim is terrifying because the water is in control (and can lead to drowning).

Being in an ocean when you do know how to swim is incredibly refreshing and rewarding—because you are in control (and you get to swim in the ocean).

…And what a beautiful opportunity it truly is to swim confidently in the ocean.

P.s. Here’s an article I wrote on better managing your information diet: How to Upgrade the Quality of Your Life in 1 Hour.

Until Perfect

Published on October 21, 2022

Many people see “good enough” as the enemy.

But, “good enough” is precisely what gets you to publish; to produce; to share.

Without “good enough”—when does anything ever reach completion?

The real enemy is “until perfect.”

Perfect is a forever fleeting finish line that moves further from us the more we learn and grow. Which, hopefully, will be for the rest of our lives.

This, in a nutshell, is the perfectionist’s paradox.

The place where the desire to do it better is constantly met with an increase in competence which forever perpetuates the things we’re working on into the future (because we can do what we’ve done better now that we’re better and so we do it again until we’ve grown and gotten better all over again). Did you catch that?

This is precisely why so many beautiful creations haven’t been published; produced; or shared.

…Don’t let this be you.

Eventually, you must accept that what you’ve done is “good enough.”

And what’s more is this… whoever said typos/ mistakes/ issues with your creations are inherently a bad thing?

What if, as Catherine Toops points out on Twitter, “…your typos are just a trail of inspiration for writers who want to believe they can do what you’ve done?”

Maybe sharing imperfect work is inherently better than “perfect” work?

I know I light up when I catch a professional writer’s typo(s).

Not because it’s a mistake… but, because it’s a sign that they’re human.

And maybe I can actually do what they’ve done, too.

The Key To A New Reality

Published on October 17, 2022

The key that unlocks a more beautiful outer reality is cut within… Never without.

You can keep trying to jab the current key (that is your perception) into reality and try to force it to turn—but, I’m afraid it’ll be about as useful as shoving your car key into your house’s front door lock.

The only key that’ll open the front door to your house is the key that was specifically cut to open it.

And until you get a new key cut, one that can open a different door to a different house (reality), it’s the only reality you can count on seeing.

How do you cut a new key, you ask?

Well, by doing inner work, of course.

The kind of work that cuts through the noise, distractions, and busywork—and with a fine blade of attention, challenges the rigidity of our current conditioning, beliefs, and thought patterns against those of others (found in books/ podcasts/ videos)… until a new edge on the key is created.

…And a new key is formed.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

How Would You Coach You?

Published on October 15, 2022

A question I’ve been chewing on lately:

“If I was coaching me what uncomfortable questions would I ask myself and (the important part) push myself to answer?”

Because ultimately, this is what many of the best coaches do. Why? Because we’re much more likely to believe the things we tell ourselves over the things others tell us.

And a good coach knows, if they can get you to say to yourself what they were just going to straight up tell you… their message will be far more likely to stick.

And how does one do this? By asking the right questions.

So, why not sit yourself down, get yourself a cup of coffee, put on some noise-cancelling headphones, and give it a shot yourself?

Even 15 minutes can completely alter the direction of your life.

Or… you could pay someone thousands and they could do it for you? Or… you could just not do it at all?

As always… growth in life will always be a personal choice.

The point I want to make is: the choice to grow is closer (and less expensive) than you might think.

P.s. Got any good questions that have led to noteworthy personal growth? Send a reply. I’d love to hear them.

La-La-La

Published on October 14, 2022

As soon as you stop doing inner work, ego wins control.

The problem with ego winning is:

Ego is instant gratification driven
Ego will fight at all costs for its comfort zone
Ego likes plug-your-ears-la-la-la as a solution to problems

Inner work challenges each of these tendencies and asks important questions. Things like:

“Is this really all I’m capable of?”
“Is comfort the purpose of my life?”
“Will I look back and be proud of these decisions?”

And if you’re not sure who’s in control upstairs, go ahead and try answering those questions for yourself.

Are you steered towards “La-la-la” or intrigue?

You might be surprised.

P.s. I asked, “What is it exactly that makes your best friend your best friend?” Here are the answers. A great place to linger if you’d like to build more solid relationships in your life.

The Voices In Our Head

Published on October 6, 2022

Within the landscape of our mind isn’t just one voice.

There’s the voice of the Ego and there’s the voice of the Self.

Ego arises effortlessly. It’s one of the byproducts of being emotional, social, imperfect creatures.

When we experience undesirable emotions, Ego fights for immediate comfort (e.g. suppression).
When we experience social hierarchy, Ego fights for expedited means to the top.
When we experience imperfections, Ego fights for distraction.

Self doesn’t arise. Self is tapped into as a result of inward effort. When we find ways to tap into this infinite wisdom, then we find different answers to the same human conditions:

When we experience undesirable emotions, Self accepts their presence and allows them to flow.
When we experience social hierarchy, Self returns to authenticity and reminds us of our own journey.
When we experience imperfections, Self reminds us of our infinite, untouchable worth.

Ego is comparative, competitive, and comfort oriented. Self is authentic, gift giving, and long-term oriented.

The dynamic worth noting here is that the Ego wants to be the only one heard. It’s loud, obnoxious, and wildly distracting. The Self is subtle, quiet, and speaks in whispers.

This is the root cause of much of our inner conflict and self-imposed suffering.

They are both answers to one of our fundamental driving forces as humans: to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Ego, however, isn’t a good guide. It’s interested in the immediate gratification and pain avoidance. Self, knows that this usually leads to compounded long-term pain. It’s the Self that can best guide us forward. But, if we never take the time to quiet the Ego… we’ll never hear it.