Category: Thinking Clearly

The Answer Is The Question

Published on July 4, 2023

One of the best things a teacher can do for a student isn’t give them answers—it’s to spark a curiosity around a good question.

Answers represent outside-in information. Questions elicit inside-out information. The two are not the same.

Copy and paste an answer into your life and it won’t be long before you hit another wall that’ll require new outside information.

Start a fire inside that’s curious enough about answering a good question and watch as walls are continuously burned down time and again.

The caveat here is centered around the idea of the question being “good.” Just any question won’t do. In fact, some questions suck and may even have the opposite of the desired effect.

For example, if somebody asked me how they can lose 30 pounds in 30 days—I’d tell them their question sucks. There are things I could tell them that might help with that, but that doesn’t make me a good teacher.

What would make me a good (better) teacher is reframing the question (in this instance).

Depending on who I’m speaking with, I might reframe the question to, “Why do you feel like you need to lose 30 pounds in 30 days?” And let that lead them down a path of introspective work around identity and self-worth. Or “What’s something you feel like you can do for 30 years, that’ll make you feel healthier/ happier?” And let them chew on the idea of making lifestyle changes that are free of finish lines. And so forth.

With that, I leave you with two questions: (1) What’s the primary question you’re trying to answer in your life now? (2) Is there a better question?

The Crutch In “Knowing”

Published on July 3, 2023

To know and not to do, is the same as not to know.

Sometimes, we take classes on topics we’ve studied before, from people who have taught us before, not so we can learn brand new for the first time—but so we can remember to do at all.

There’s plenty that I “know”—that I’ve heard before.

But there’s very little (comparatively) that I’m actually doing—and even less that I’m actually doing well.

When we assume we know, we don’t give ourselves the chance to be reminded—and when we fail to act (because we forget), we might as well not have known in the first place.

In this way, it’s important to see how “knowing” quickly becomes the crutch that, very counterintuitively, can be precisely what’s holding us back.

Can’t Talk

Published on June 21, 2023

I lost my voice yesterday.

And while it was fun “retracing my steps” and “looking all over the school” with some of my young students who were trying to help me “find” it—losing your voice isn’t fun business.

Especially not when your voice is such an integral part of your business. Which is why today, I’m thankful for it. It really is funny how you don’t think to appreciate a thing until it’s gone. I’m fairly confident this wouldn’t have made it to my 15 day list if this hadn’t happened.

None-the-less, here we are. And here I am, bracing myself for an upcoming series of Martial Arts graduation ceremonies, classes, and coaching sessions that require a functioning voice box (and a damn loud one at that). And a question I’ve been reflecting on that has guided me in many challenging situations before is, “What good can come from this?”

…And you know what’s funny about reflecting on that question? You tend to find good things buried inside even crappy situations. Because the reality is—I’m not getting it back today. No sense dwelling on that. But, letting my mind dwell in the realm of creative solutions can be helpful for sure.

And what I’m now seeing are excellent opportunities for team members and students to step up—not only to help me out, but to help themselves out by building skills inside higher pressure situations that they don’t normally get to step into.

So you know what I’m going to do today?

…Let those who are willing step into them.

Distractionary In Nature

Published on June 19, 2023

Over the past few months, I have been focused on reducing screen time—particularly as it pertains to using social media apps.

I have largely stopped posting, turned off essentially all notifications, and am being more mindful of the itches that arise to open and scroll.

This past Saturday, however, I had a moment where I decided to scratch that itch and check IG. Before I knew it, I was already 1 hour deep into a video binge of a Brazilian couple’s dancing page. Not joking. They were completely captivating and shared great content—but, it wasn’t how I wanted to spend an hour of my day.

This is the kind of thing that happens all of the time, with so many of us.

Hours and hours drained from our days watching content that’s captivating and well produced (this isn’t a shot at the content), but that’s distractionary in nature and veers us from our main path. My current path, for example, is to reallocate the time saved and put it towards IRL meetups, reading, meditation, deep work, and/or sleep.

How much better my Sunday might’ve felt, I wonder to myself, if I hadn’t stayed up that extra hour Saturday night scrolling through IG? And I wonder the same for you and how much better you might feel if you reallocated just 1 hour/ week of distractionary in nature media and put it towards something better?

Day 3 of #15DaysofGratitude: Thankful that I grew up in a time where screen time wasn’t a concern—having a no-screen-foundation helps me to navigate this modern, screen driven world in a way that those who only know the screen-filled life… can’t imagine.

Body Posture and Voice Tonality

Published on June 16, 2023

I frequently visit schools and speak to students about how martial arts can help in life.

And while one of my goals is to spark an interest in them that might lead to continued, long-term training, part of me knows that the one visit might be the only time I’ll ever get to speak with them. And so I challenge myself to give them something that’ll stick even after one, 30-minute session.

While this often changes depending on the group of students I’m working with and what I see—what I often find myself choosing for the focused takeaway is body posture and voice tonality.

I’ll tell them when they stand, walk, or sit—to do so with their back straight, chin up, and eyes straight ahead. When they speak, to look in the eyes and use a loud, clear voice.

Contrary to what most students think, what formulates our judgements of our peers has very little to do with specific word choice—it’s not about the jokes, knowledge, or witty remarks.

The sweeping majority has to do with body language and tone of voice. And one of the best ways I know to get people to demonstrably hold themselves in high(er) regard—which demonstrates belief in their own worth, potential, and right to be treated with dignity and respect—is by making these select few adjustments.

If you’re reading this and you tend to walk with your back hunched, eyes down, and speak with a soft and quiet voice… maybe you can practice making this select adjustment as well.

Make it a habit and you might be surprised at how different you feel in just a few days time.

This Again

Published on June 13, 2023

I find myself writing about similar topics often.

That’s because there are certain topics I think about often.

And for those who are trying to do more writing and get turned off by the idea of writing similar things on similar topics time and again… think about it like this:

Writing isn’t just about the end product—the piece you ship, share, or hide. Writing is about the reflecting, the searching for the words, the act of trying to understand what it is you think about a thing—whatever it is you care enough to think and write about.

And to spend time bringing clarity to topics you tend to think most often about? The ones you can’t help but return to time and again? The ones you wrote about years ago and find yourself circling back to all this time later? …Is no waste of effort.

In fact, it’s a sign of a greater investment being made.

Because thoughts shape actions and actions shape lives… and writing clarifies thoughts which clarifies actions for a more deliberate life. And bringing (increasing) clarity to topics you tend to think most often about will likely have the greatest impact on your future actions and life path—wouldn’t you say?

Now quit using redundancy as an excuse and get back to it.

P.s. Yesterday, MoveMe Quotes was down for most of the day. It’s back up and running. Thank you to those who reached out to let me know.

Living With Courage

Published on June 10, 2023

Today, the Martial Arts Academy I teach at lead a group of students through their black belt and higher degree test.

At the end of the ceremony, some of the graduates were asked to share their thoughts, feelings, stories, and/or gratitude over the microphone to the audience.

One young girl shook me with her words when she said, “I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for this school because it’s where my mommy met my daddy.”

…As in, she literally wouldn’t be alive if that school hadn’t been opened because her parents would’ve likely never met and never would’ve, you know, had her.

But, they did meet. And they did have that precious little girl. And that little girl worked incredibly hard to earn her black belt and was filled with emotion at the weight of what that represented.

This, for me, is a wonderful reminder to live life with courage. To get out into the local world and try new things. Even if that means starting out at white belt when you’re already at a “black belt” level in many other areas of life. Where there aren’t screens separating us and where we’re able to meet like-minded people who are also committed to personal growth.

Because, as is illustrated so beautifully in this story… you just never know.

And what a shame it would be if it was a lack of courage that kept something beautiful like this from ever happening.