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Category: Thinking Clearly

The Furthest Along

Published on September 9, 2023

The thing about watching and listening to the best—in any category—is that it’s not long thereafter that you start comparing yourself to them.

And while the best are incredibly impressive, what they often are not is appropriate comparison rulers.

In fact, by definition, they are the ones who make you feel the furthest from where you want to be. Because they are the best—the furthest along—and you are where you are.

While it may be tempting to keep the best posted up in front of your eyes and dialed in to the drum of your ears… it’s important to remember that it can easily have the opposite of the intended effect.

“Motivating” might be the word you use when you tell yourself why you’re following them, subscribing to their channels, and obsessing over their highlight reels.

But, if all they ever make you want to do is watch… motivate isn’t what they’re doing at all.

Distract is the word you need to start using and other people—closer comparison rulers who make you actually act—are the ones you should fill your timelines with.

Ultra

Published on September 6, 2023

I ran my first ever ultramarathon at Burning Man this past week.

…And let me tell you: I had zero intentions of running an ultramarathon at Burning Man this past week.

It all started when I met Justin—an ultramarathon runner in my camp.

Justin is a crazy son-of-a-gun who completed a 120k run at one point in his life, but presents in the most calm, cool, collected—un-crazy sort of way.

It was Sunday when we both were getting to know each other after having invested a significant amount of energy into building our 30 person camp that I discovered his intention.

“So, what are you up to tomorrow?”

“Probably just taking it easy. I’m running the ultra on Tuesday.”

…He said about as nonchalantly as you or I might’ve if we were going to the drug store to buy sunscreen.

“…You’re running the 50k?!”

“…In the desert?!”

“…With these dust storms and heat?”

Justin:“Yeahhhh.”

…He replied calmly to each objection without a hint of worry in sight.

“I’ve run a marathon before, but that’s my max.”

I continued as I then proceeded to list all of the reasons why 26.2 miles was my limit.

And as he listened to each rational thought—posture relaxed, legs crossed, gaze soft—I felt a contrasting rigidity form as I drew myself into a box of limitations.

And when I finished he said plainly:“Yeahhhh, well if you’ve run a marathon before, a 50k is just a few miles more.”

“…And it’s not like you have to go fast.” He continued.

“…You can take your time.”

“…If you don’t finish, you don’t finish.”

“…And if you do… well…”

“…Then you do.“

Detaching From Productivity

Published on August 21, 2023

There should be at least one day in your week where you’re able to purely go with the flow.

No obligations; no mandatory tasks; no appointments—just time to do whatever your soul desires.

Sunday is that day for me.

I chronically have a ton of stuff on my to-do list and could easily work from sun up to sun down trying to get it all done every day of the week if I wanted to. But, on Sundays, I practice detaching from my productivity focused mind and practice opening myself up to opportunities for flow that present themselves.

Because while checking a handful of items off my to-do list will undoubtedly feel good, honoring the pull of my soul will ultimately feel better. Which isn’t to say to-do lists should always be ignored. It’s simply to say—that’s what the other six (or whatever ratio works for you) days are for.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Really Notice

Published on August 20, 2023

The other night I asked my adult martial arts class, “Who feels like they’re at 100%?”

“…As in no aches, no pains, no tweaks, no bodily issues, no lagging exhaustion?”

And to my surprise, maybe 7 out of 35 raised their hand—one of whom was one of the oldest students in class.

It seems increasingly rare to me to speak with somebody who doesn’t have some type of ache, pain, tweak, bodily issue, or lagging exhaustion.

In fact, it often feels like it acts as the center of our attention and resultantly, becomes the center of our conversations, too.

Imagine, however, if we were able to notice—really notice—the miracle that is the days when we feel like we’re at 100%. It isn’t often, I’d say, but it isn’t never, either (hopefully).

Furthermore, what if we were able to notice—really notice—the miracle that is everything going right… all of the parts of ourselves that don’t ache, hurt, annoy, tire, and frustrate us.

My guess is that we often take both for granted and allow distractions to do what they do so well. But, I’m also going to guess that the more we’re able to do the really noticing, the closer to 100% we’ll get—even without any physical changes.

Updating How You Act

Published on August 17, 2023

The way we act is a byproduct of a lifetime of trial, “error,” and adjustment.

I put error in quotations because it’s subjective. It depends on what we define as “error” based on environmental responses—particularly in how people treat us.

We act a certain way, get feedback from our environment, and either reinforce or adjust. The goal, of course, being to move in the direction of safe, seen, and heard.

If we grow up in an unsafe environment, we may be forced to take safety into our own hands and practice fighting, toughening up, and preparing for unexpected violence.

If we grow up in an ignored / overlooked / misunderstood environment, we may attempt to feel seen and heard in alternative ways. Like acting out, dressing flamboyantly, or engaging in risky behavior.

Individual cases, of course, can be far more nuanced than this.

But, if we don’t take some time to stop and look inward, we might not realize we’re acting a certain way based on expired environmental circumstances—and we can update how we act to our updated environments.

Or, better yet, we can update how we act towards an ideal regardless of our current environments and practice self-growth that’s independent of outside influence.

The realization is this: the only thing stopping you from acting more fun, loving, calm, cool, confident, joyful, compassionate, etc.—is your current beliefs about how you “should” or “have to” act based on past experiences.

…And all you have to do is change your mind.

Less, Less, Less

Published on August 15, 2023

Rather than asking yourself: “What else do I need to do today?” or “What else can I get done today?”

Try asking yourself: “What don’t I need to do today?” or “What can be crossed off my list?”

The modern day default is to add, add, add. More tasks done equals a more productive day. A more productive day equals a greater return. A greater return is what hustle culture deems as being the worthwhile reward.

…But, a greater return equals… what exactly?

This is where a lot of people get their formulas confused. Do greater returns equal more happiness or more material purchases? Do greater returns equal more quality time or more quality brands? Do greater returns equal more freedom or more responsibilities?

Maybe it’s worth considering an approach of less, less, less.

Maybe less tasks done equals a more productive day—not just because it was more focused on higher priority tasks, but because it was more appropriately balanced with all of your life’s priorities—instead of just work. And a more balanced day equals a greater return in each of your life’s domains. And maybe a greater return from each of life’s domains is what actually leads to more happiness, quality time, and freedom?

P.s. 23 Greg McKeown Quotes from Essentialism and How To Live Better Via Less

Why Not Now?

Published on August 10, 2023

I have a 41 year old martial arts student who signed up to do her first ever martial arts tournament this Saturday who also, get this, has never done a performance of any kind… ever… in her life.

Not for theater, not for music, not for school… has never performed in front of people.

And this weekend, she’s rewriting that part of her story.

…This is your reminder that it’s never too late to rewrite a part of your story, too.

P.s. I also published: Replacing Human With Digital Interactions—A Short Story About Connection