Category: Thinking Clearly

Using Reflection To Steer Your Ship

Published on April 10, 2024

The interesting thing about writing every day is that it makes you more keenly aware of how interesting or mundane your day-to-day thinking is.

When I don’t have something immediately saved in my mind to write about, I’ll rotate my computer chair 90 degrees, kick up my feet onto the adjacent couch, peer out the large window my dog uses as a TV screen, and let my mind wander for ideas.

It’s in those moments that I’ll notice something unique that springs forward or, on the other end of the spectrum, a mundanity that’s lingered for longer than its anticipated stay.

And it’s in those moments that I try and either capture those unique moments so as to better understand them (so I can keep moving my life in the direction of those ideas) or adjust my life strategy so as to flush out those redundant, dull thoughts and pump in new, raw experiences for my mind to freshly chew on.

Without these moments of daily reflection, I can see how easy it would be for me to get lost in the daily hustle and bustle and not even realize how mundane/repetitive my daily experience might be. Leaving me so consumed with daily tasks that I have no time to steer my life’s ship.

…And I fear there’s quite a few people out there who are so zoomed in on their busyness that they’ve forgotten to check on the steering wheel of their ship. If that’s you, take this as your reminder to kick up your feet and stare out the window for a while… it’s more important than you might think.

Mental Stretching

Published on April 7, 2024

Before intense exercise, we stretch (or at least we should).

We do this to prepare the body for what’s to come. We extend our muscles to their maximum range and hold them there so as to tell them, “I might need to take you to this point at some point—don’t freak out; don’t get pulled; don’t rip. I need you to perform at peak capacity and I want to conclude without any injuries from the process. What’d you say, muscles? Are you ready to do this?!”

What a brilliant practice.

One that I think more of us need to adopt for more than our bodies—but, for our minds, too.

How often do we have mentally intense days? I’d bet all of the time.

…And how often do we mentally stretch for those mentally intense days? I’d bet rarely, if ever.

What if, instead of rushing out of bed late and jumping into the mentally intense challenges of the day cold, groggy, and stiff… What if we spent a few minutes each morning doing some mental stretching? What if we reviewed and renewed our principles and values? Or recited the mantras or prayers that guide us? Or visualized our day unfolding and preemptively planned for curveballs or possible contingencies?

…I’d say, what stretching does for our intense workouts physically, so, too, will it do for our intense days mentally.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Path With Deviations

Published on April 1, 2024

Modern society prescribes a pretty generic path to “success” that amounts to something along the lines of: Good grades in school –> Good grades in college –> Good performance reviews in career –> Good compatibility in marriage –> Good financial situation from earnings –> Good kids who get to go to a good school and start the cycle over again for themselves –> Good retirement knowing you did well for them as parents –> Good grandkids –> So forth.

What’s fun to think about sometimes is how the generic path to success has nothing to do with your path to success—because it’s something that can only ever be defined by you.

…And how your path could change at any point along the way that amounts to something more along the lines of what success feels like to you, by you. Maybe including deviations like –> Crappy grades in school so picked up a trade / specialty skill instead. Or –> Took a gap year after school and traveled on the other side of the planet, just because. Or –> Had a really cool business idea and was aligned with really cool people so went for it. Or –> Was sick of my daily grind so started a side hustle that turned full-time hustle online. Or –> Got offered a once in a lifetime opportunity and I said “Yes.”

What’s even more fun than thinking about the above… is doing the above. The generic path can be fulfilling—no doubt. But, there’s also no doubt that the path filled with deviations concludes with a little more certainty—a knowing of what came from the thoughts instead of being left at the end of the generic with a haunted feeling of… “What if…”

Maybe It Wasn’t Stupid Only…

Published on March 29, 2024

I bought tickets to a 2-day event that was happening over Memorial Day weekend only to find out that I got the weekend wrong and it wasn’t, in fact, over Memorial Day weekend.

…Which meant, of course, that I didn’t actually have the weekend off and I wouldn’t actually be able to go.

And, of course, there was a no refund policy.

So there I was, $180 in the hole for an event I wouldn’t even be able to attend.

And, of course, when I emailed the customer service folks, they reiterated that there was a no refund policy and that there was nothing they could do.

…But, said I should try selling them on SeakGeek, StubHub, etc.

And you know what… I always wondered how that might go if I was to get an extra ticket to a really great event early and resell it on one of those websites… maybe even for a profit?

Which is precisely the opportunity that I’m walking away from this experience with.

…And if you look closely, you might find a hidden opportunity in a seemingly stupid-only move that you recently made, too.

Rolling Creative Energy Into Other Tasks

Published on March 25, 2024

When I get excited about something, like a creative project, I tend to obsess.

I’ll work on it early, I’ll work on it late, and I’ll cut from my day as many of my other tasks/priorities as I can to maximize my ability to keep working on it.

This happens when I’m redesigning websites, choreographing new martial arts material, authoring new digital products, reorganizing spaces, learning new skills, and so on.

Most recently, I’ve been rebuilding my martial arts school’s pro-shop.

It was in desperate need of an update after having been essentially ignored for years.

What I’ve been trying to manage more mindfully this time around, however, as I undertake this creative project, is how I balance my time and to resist devoting too much at once to its completion.

I wanted to stay late to finish the whole project last week… but, I kept it to only one extra hour and allowed myself to leave before its completion.

I wanted to go in early to get a head start… but, I resisted.

I even wanted to go in on Sunday to finish… but, didn’t

What I’m trying to teach myself is to take that gifted creative energy and roll it into my other tasks. How can I use this energy to get my other priority tasks done? How can I take this excitement and use it to boost my mood? How can I take this burst of inspiration and roll it into my writing?

While there’s nothing wrong with going all-in and riding that creative wave with everything you’ve got… learning to stretch that wave and balance yourself in the process might lead to a far greater return.

Aligned Success Is The REAL Success

Published on March 22, 2024

There’s no success without alignment.

$1,000,000+ doing work you hate isn’t success.
30 pounds lost following a diet and exercise regimen that makes you miserable isn’t a success.
Reading 100 books in a year that were all irrelevant to your life/interests/goals isn’t a success.
Getting first place in a competition that doesn’t challenge or excite you in any way isn’t a success.
Going viral by intentionally spreading misinformation or hate or content that you would despise consuming yourself isn’t a success.

…Which is why it’s crucially important to find alignment before you ever chase any kind of success.

Inner Work Prompt: What does “success” look like to you? Are your means in alignment with that end?

P.s. Need help finding alignment? My guide, The Art of Forward: Direction > Speed can help. Now 30% off for a limited time.

Picking A “Third Space”

Published on March 13, 2024

Most of us have two consistent spaces in our lives where we get to socialize, experiment, and express ourselves: home and either work or school.

At various times in our lives, there’s a third or fourth space that gives us a chance to further express different sides of our identity. The one that isn’t taking on the role of mother/father/brother/sister/etc or that gets to break free from the role of grade A student or model employee or strict boss. This might have been a local community center, church group, sports team, restaurant/café, shopping center, volunteer organization, etc.

And then at other times in our lives, we lose those third and fourth spaces and slowly allow ourselves to get pigeonholed back into just having two spaces. Or—especially after the pandemic and the rise of remote work—one space only.

The challenge with having only one or two spaces to express yourself and live is that it limits the range of expression of your identity.

I can tell you this first hand. When I’m at home or with my family, I take on my introvert or son/brother identity. When I’m at work, I take on my Martial Arts Instructor/Manager identity.

…But where’s the space for my shooting the crap with friends side of my identity? Or my carefree, speak my mind, unfiltered side? Or my adventurous, exploratory, instigative side?

…I need to actively seek out or create a third or fourth space to honor those sides.

Ask yourself what sides of your identity you’re not giving space to and then reverse engineer your way to a space that honors that type of expression.

…Let your identity stretch its limbs once again.