Category: Thinking Clearly

“I Am Not The Dancing Type”

Published on December 23, 2023

At a recent holiday party that was being hosted at the school I teach at, I put on fun dance music, had a big group of kids make a circle and told them to copy whoever was voted to go into the middle.

The kids who were voted in danced, jumped, spun, cartwheeled, ran, slid, kicked, ducked, jumping jacked, wormed, can opened, back bent, and so much more—with very little hesitation or self-consciousness. And there was a 100% participation rate.

After a few rounds of that, I told the kids to just dance however they wanted to—that there was no need to copy any more. And they all pretty much did.

…Except one little boy who couldn’t have been older than seven who came up to me and said, “I am not the dancing type.”

Which was curious to me because he participated and moved the entire time we were in the copying rounds.

So I responded as unhesitatingly as I could and said, “That’s okay, you don’t have to be. Just keep copying the other kids and don’t worry what anybody else thinks.”

And so he agreed and went off jumping, spinning, cartwheeling, running, sliding, kicking, ducking, jumping jacking, worming, can opening, back bending, and so much more.

I don’t know how he came to the conclusion—at seven—that he wasn’t the “dancing type,” but what I saw was a kid who was “dancing” just as good as any other on that floor.

And it was a wonderful reminder that the words that follow “I am…” follow you. So be VERY careful what words you choose to fill in that blank with.

Challenge Old Beliefs

Published on December 20, 2023

When teaching push-ups, after proper form is discussed, the next big criteria I lay out for students is full range of motion.

If we want to fully develop the muscles being worked, we need to take those muscles through their full range of motion.

With this in mind, for those who aren’t able to do push-ups off their knees, I encourage them to put their knees down, keep their back as flat as they can, and do reps as fully as they’re able. Better that than 20% down, 20% uppers.

By doing this, they meet themselves where they are, will build quality strength through persistence, and can increase reps as they go—eventually working their way to off-the-knee push-ups when ready.

During a recent physical exam, while watching my students doing push-ups, a guest instructor made a comment I liked.

He said, “I understand many of you need to do push-ups on your knees, but try at least the first one off your knees.”

And the point he went on to explain was that many times we pigeon-hole ourselves into a certain way of doing things, with old limits in mind, and—whether consciously or unconsciously—mostly stay within those previously defined constraints.

By doing the first one(s) off our knees and at least giving ourselves a quality eccentric contraction as we slowly lower ourselves to the ground, not only do we expose our muscles to the weight of our eventual goal, but we—whether consciously or unconsciously—remind ourselves that we’re capable of doing more than we previously might’ve decided.

…Because we are.

P.s. Need help building habits that stick? My guide will help (and it’s on sale).

Missing The Point Of Meditation

Published on December 13, 2023

One of my goals for 2024 is to become as consistent with meditation as I am with writing.

When sharing this goal with some of my associates, two of them said they want to meditate and know the values of meditating, but “can’t.” That they “aren’t good” at it. That their mind is “too busy” and “chaotic.”

One even said he plans to start meditating after his business reaches certain goals so that he can do more “relaxing” things like meditate.

…This is a misunderstanding.

Meditation isn’t something you’re “good” at. It doesn’t require you to sit and have zero thoughts. It isn’t something you do only when you aren’t busy.

Meditation is the means towards mental clarity. It’s precisely the strategy you deploy to calm a busy / chaotic mind. There are no prerequisites and having a certain number of thoughts isn’t the measure of how “good” or “bad” you are at it.

It’s an opportunity to (finally) cease the constant influx of information. It’s an opportunity to allow the already overstimulated mind a chance to settle what’s there. And there’s nothing to be good at—it’s literally the act of doing nothing.

…It’s the antidote to the media driven, information crazed, busywork addicted modern society so many of us live in. Again, I repeat: it’s the antidote—not some type of reward or achievement that comes from a calmer lifestyle.

And to say you’ll start when things “calm down” is to miss the point entirely. Because you know when a great time is to calm down your mind, witness your thoughts, and become more present in your life? …Now.

While life is happening to you.

This is the point.

Own Your Future

Published on December 10, 2023

If you’re given an opportunity to perform/ create/ express… to show what you’re made of… to put your spirit on full display… and you choose to give it an average effort…?

…The future consequences of that… the regret/ the fewer opportunities/ the reduced impact… is on you—not anybody else.

Remember this: we’re wired to hold back. To stay comfortable. To take the easy path. To not risk failure or embarrassment. Which is why seeing people do the opposite—in any arena—is so captivating and inspiring.

And if captivate and inspire is something you aim to do…

…You have to choose to do that. To rewire your system. To rewrite your defaults. To reject the status quo and what’s grossly accepted as the norm. To give the opportunity presented to you your greatest effort… without hesitation, self-consciousness, or egotistical concern…

…And own the fact that the future… your greatest future… is always a series of choices that can be made only by you.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Enough Thinking For Today

Published on December 7, 2023

…That’s what I tell myself when I collapse into my bed at night.

…And I open a book and start reading as soon as I can manage.

My thought is this: we spend every waking moment of our day thinking… trying to stay one step ahead of what’s next; solving problems; avoiding distractions and staying productive; imagining future possibilities; reflecting and learning from past experiences; keeping our priorities prioritized; remembering to eat enough food and drink enough water; entertaining stupid random stuff that we can’t help… etc

And collapsed in bed, exhausted, shouldn’t be another time for us to keep doing all of the above.

In fact, continuing to think critically and solve problems from your day before you sleep is an excellent way to lose sleep and wake up more tired the next day leaving you with less energy to solve the very problems you thought thinking about in bed would help.

Here’s the strategy: don’t tell your mind to stop thinking—this doesn’t work. Just like trying not to think of Pink Elephant doesn’t work. Give your mind something to guide it. Something that can carry it forward on a ride and relieve it of its incessant nature to problem solve and replay experiences. Books do it for me.

…Until your eyes are so heavy that you can’t help but put the book down and pass out.

Collapsed on your bed = enough thinking for today. Try it.

P.s. If something randomly pops into your head that I don’t want to forget, I write it down or record it on a note app. Trying to remember things before you sleep will stimulate you back to a wakeful state.

Rebalance The Week

Published on December 2, 2023

When it comes to priorities and life balance, I’ve written a lot about thinking in terms of days.

If Sleep/ Work/Recreational Time are priorities, split each according to the hours of your day (e.g. 8 hours each).

If Family/ Friends/Health are priorities, split each inside the 8 hours of “recreational time” you have (e.g. one hour meal time with family, one hour happy hour time with friends, one hour exercise every morning).

If Growth and Contribution are priorities, maybe block out 20 minutes to read, 20 minutes to write, and 20 minutes to help somebody just because.

And then there’s four hours left inside your “recreational time” to account for commutes, screen time, fun, snoozing, procrastinating, spontaneity, etc.

I like the idea of daily because every day we do the things that are priorities… it’s a good day.

It’s usually on the days when we aren’t able to hit our top priority areas that we feel like the day is a wash.

However…

It never plays out as simply as it’s laid out, does it?

Life gets in the way.

And when it does, a simple solution to keep your life balanced and in tune with your priorities is to shift from daily to weekly thinking.

…Put more time in at work than you planned? Subtract it from another day or deliberately block time for the missed priority on your more flexible days.

…Get caught in another media rabbit-hole and lose some high quality sleeping hours? If you can’t add it to the morning, ban yourself from even viewing media at all the next day or two.

Rebalance the week if/when you can’t rebalance the day.

Hair-Pulling Issues

Published on November 29, 2023

I’ve been experiencing some hair-pulling email issues over the past few days.

Things that were supposed to happen when somebody opts in to get my daily or weekly emails, wasn’t. The plugins and forms that were supposed to fix the problems, weren’t. And when I invested $800+ for a Cyber Monday deal to switch to a new email service provider… I quickly realized that they came with their own set of new, hair-pulling issues that I’d have to resolve. And so it has gone so far this week…

But then…

I heard that one of my students’ mom got her finger broken by her autistic daughter…

And that one of my coworker’s sisters was in the hospital…

And that one of my students’ dad passed away…

And that another one of my students’ mom passed away which lead him to drop everything and fly to the other side of the planet to be with his family…

And I remembered…

Email issues are laughable issues in the grand scheme of things.

When you’re feeling like you’re about ready to pull your hair out over the issues you’re facing in your life… try zooming out from your micro perspective and soaking in issues from a wider lens.

…Not because we want to think about bigger, badder, more heart-wrenching issues… but, because we want to gain perspective.

…So that we can ease our way back into our lives with a deeper sense of understanding and so we can revisit our “hair pulling issues” from a new head space.

…One that maybe puts “hair pulling issues” in air quotes and no longer has them bolded and underlined.