Category: Defining Success

• Some people prove themselves in school.
• Some people prove themselves in conflict.
• Some people prove themselves in business.

…And some people realize that they have nothing to prove to anyone except themselves.

….And so they build. Not to have something bigger than anybody else—but, to have something built that serves a purpose; that fulfills a vision; that realizes a dream.

A purpose, vision, and/or dream that comes from within, that’s built with the tools within, that helps nourish feelings that can only ever be influenced from within.

Because those who try to get feelings from letter grades, fist fights, or number games end up taking a long detour that winds up, down, and over an incredible terrain—only to leave them back where they started… looking at the only person who had the ability to give them the feelings they so desperately sought out the whole time…

…The same one who was there with them right from the beginning.

…Themself.

Confidence is success remembered.

If you define success as getting a standing ovation after a TED Talk, then you’re going to have confidence issues.

If you define success as doing something that’s a little more than what you did before, then growing confidence will hardly be an issue.

With that in mind, here’s your formula: own your definition of success + make collecting “successes” a regular priority = watch your confidence grow.

Nobody sets out to lose.

Winning is—in some way/shape/or form—the goal for all of us.

Ironically enough, not winning is often the best means to winning.

It challenges us, humbles us, evokes curiosity, and introduces us to grit—if we channel it.

If we don’t, not winning can lead to discouragement, self-doubt, and result in surrender.

And what most people will say with this insight is: never surrender; persevere; don’t give up; channel losses into fuel; ignore self-doubt etc.

Worth considering, however: if you want to start winning more, maybe the trick isn’t to force yourself to ignore feelings of discouragement, self-doubt, and surrender.

Maybe the trick to winning more is to define for yourself a game where the natural byproduct of “not winning” is humility, curiosity, and grit.

Because what you need to always consider is that you may be playing the wrong game.

When you align your aptitudes, abilities, and interests with the right type of challenge/ game, the question of “how can I motivate myself to keep going” dissolves.

And the question that quickly appears in its place is “how can I stop myself from playing this game so much so that I can eat food, interact with humans, and get more sleep.”