Category: Defining Success

There’s no success without alignment.

• $1,000,000+ doing work you hate isn’t success.
• 30 pounds lost following a diet and exercise regimen that makes you miserable isn’t a success.
• Reading 100 books in a year that were all irrelevant to your life/interests/goals isn’t a success.
• Getting first place in a competition that doesn’t challenge or excite you in any way isn’t a success.
• Going viral by intentionally spreading misinformation or hate or content that you would despise consuming yourself isn’t a success.

…Which is why it’s crucially important to find alignment before you ever chase any kind of success.

Inner Work Prompt: What does “success” look like to you? Are your means in alignment with that end?

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P.s. Need help finding alignment? My guide, The Art of Forward: Direction > Speed can help. Now 30% off for a limited time.

1) There’s no winning or losing—only learning. The person who wins, but doesn’t learn anything—loses; the person who loses and doesn’t learn anything—loses; and the person who has a plethora of experiences, but never learns anything from them—loses. Learning is what it’s all about. Extracting information from raw experiences that you can then use to guide you forward, upgrade your thinking, improve your processes, make better choices, and challenge yourself more appropriately in the future—whether you win, lose, or just participate makes every experience a win for living.

2) This is just the beginning. The fixed mindset says, “What I have is what I’ve got.” And when we say things like, “I can’t do that” or “That’s just the way I am” or “I’m hopeless”—what we’re really confirming is a fixed mindset way of living. We’re saying our brains and bodies won’t improve or adapt with appropriate challenge, deliberate practice, and communal support. Which, of course, just isn’t true. Our brains and bodies are brilliantly designed from millions of years of evolution to adapt to the challenges they’re exposed to. Which means it isn’t that you “can’t do it” …it’s that you can’t do it yet. It isn’t “just the way you are…” it’s the way you are for now. And you’re definitely not hopeless… you’re actually just at the cusp of a new, humble beginning.

When you know you can learn something from every experience and that you have the ability to grow, adapt, and improve both your body and mind… what could possibly stop you from moving forward in life?

When I play pickup basketball, there are no refs. Which means the rules are enforced based on the honor system and are all up for debate.

This creates a type of character reveal environment.

When you’re driving to the rim and get whacked a few times by a defender and they don’t call a foul—you remember that.

When you see clearly who the ball went out of bounds by and see them clearly argue against it—you remember that.

When you’re trying to get open for a play, but get inconspicuously held, tripped, or otherwise played dirty—you remember that.

Worth mentioning here that in some situations, it actually makes sense to foul.

The point I want to make isn’t about the fouling per se—you can strategically and respectfully foul—it’s about the character reveal.

One of the guys I play with happens to be a real estate agent.

…Who also happens to be one of the most honest, clean players on the court. Even in situations where it’s unclear who’s at fault—he’ll take blame without hesitation.

And while this might not lead to more immediate points for his team… guess what it does lead to?

Trust in who he is as a person.

And if/when I’m looking to buy a house—guess who I’m going to remember as being an honest/ clean playing guy who also happens to sell houses?

That guy.

…Don’t miss the forest for the trees.

Sometimes we fight so hard to win the immediate game that we forget about the grander game being played.

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P.s. Today is the 4 year anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s tragic death. Remember some of his legacy here.

If you’re given an opportunity to perform/ create/ express… to show what you’re made of… to put your spirit on full display… and you choose to give it an average effort…?

…The future consequences of that… the regret/ the fewer opportunities/ the reduced impact… is on you—not anybody else.

Remember this: we’re wired to hold back. To stay comfortable. To take the easy path. To not risk failure or embarrassment. Which is why seeing people do the opposite—in any arena—is so captivating and inspiring.

And if captivate and inspire is something you aim to do…

…You have to choose to do that. To rewire your system. To rewrite your defaults. To reject the status quo and what’s grossly accepted as the norm. To give the opportunity presented to you your greatest effort… without hesitation, self-consciousness, or egotistical concern…

…And own the fact that the future… your greatest future… is always a series of choices that can be made only by you.

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The group I’ve been playing basketball with on weekends has grown as of late.

And a lot of the additions to the group are much better than me.

If I’m not careful, this could make me want to stop playing.

But, if I’m mindful, this will continue to have zero impact on my playing long-term.

Because what I have to remember is that I’m not there to be the best basketball player (I gave up that dream when I got cut from my middle school basketball tryouts decades ago). I’m there for the killer plyometric workout and connection.

And so I use the presence of increased talent and experience as motivation to practice and learn… and do my best to channel my inner golden retriever the rest of the time and run around, jump up and down, and just be happy to be there.

…An excellent strategy, I must say, when learning anything new while in the midst of talented and experienced practitioners.