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Category: Calming The Mind

The Victory In Writing Nothing At All

Published on May 25, 2023

If I sit and stare at a blank page, thinking and conjuring up what I might write, even if I don’t write a single word, I consider it a tremendous success.

Where most people see a waste of time, what I see is a chunk of time dedicated to thinking and conjuring things up. Something that, by definition, takes time and undisrupted focus.

Something that, you must understand, looks precisely like sitting and staring.

Something that, in today’s world, is becoming increasingly rare because it’s uncomfortable and can be instantly avoided with a few taps of the fingers.

But for someone to lean into that uncomfortable feeling… to have the discipline to not submit to passive entertainment… to be proactive enough to silence notifications, close all tabs, and clear the calendar of appointments… all so that they can have some space and time to think… so that they can digest all of the crap that has ceaselessly entered their mind from the second they woke up that morning (not including the backlog of crap from the many mornings prior)… so that they can just settle and move towards clarity… is nothing short of a victory.

And to do so for an hour, several hours, or even half an hour… should be seen as one and nothing less.

60 to 0

Published on April 1, 2023

Just as a car that accelerates faster from 0 to 60 needs to be proportionally better at braking back down from 60 to 0…

So, too, do we need to be better at slowing ourselves down in proportion to the speed at which our world insists we increase our pace to.

Going fast(er) without the ability to come back down is as dangerous in humans as it is in cars.

The 3 Crucial Mind Tools For Clarity

Published on March 27, 2023

1. We meditate to settle the sediments of our mind.

By removing outside stimulation, we allow all of the swishing, swirling, and convoluted thoughts to relax into a kind of order: the crap moves to the bottom and the important rises to the top. Through meditation, our mental priorities become more clear.

2. We journal to filtrate.

We begin by scooping a spoonful of thoughts and pour them down onto paper or screen. Then, through a careful and focused effort, we update and revise what’s poured out so as to make those thoughts more clear, concise, and aligned. What results becomes the new, filtered spoonful that gets poured back in.

3. We speak with professionals of the mind to utilize their high-end filtration systems.

Therapy allows us to, essentially, pour our thoughts through the highly filtered mind(s) of somebody else so that we’re able to get a level of clarity we’re unable to provide for ourselves. Also, when something dangerous, toxic, or overly complex comes up through the filtration process—they can swiftly help us minimize or neutralize the threat. This can be extremely beneficial for the particularly dark and/or murky mind—especially in the initial stages of filtration.

The bottom line is this: our mind is either our greatest asset or greatest liability in life.

The use or disregard of these three tools can largely determine which category our mind falls into. All three aren’t required—any one of these tools alone can lead us all the way to the “asset” category. Applying two or all three, however, is a particularly effective strategy. One that I’d say, if you haven’t already, you at least consider.

No Waste On Weather

Published on March 10, 2023

Dear busy person,

The weather is out of your control. So don’t spend even more than one minute complaining about it. No good will come from it. All that will come is a worsened mood, wasted time, and a rippling effect of the same into the lives of those whom you’re connected with. You’re already busy enough. Just for today, practice complete acceptance. Whatever weather comes, comes. Whatever weather goes, goes. And how you respond is: dress for the weather regardless—while sheltering your inner weather from any unnecessary skews or upsets along the way. And if today goes well, maybe you do the same tomorrow?

Sincerely,

Your inner work person

P.s. If you’re busy, you can read my other letters to you here.

Relaxed Confidence

Published on February 20, 2023

When you learn to relax inside tense moments with other people, you allow yourself to notice things you’d otherwise miss.

Things like ulterior motives (what’s the real driver behind the actions), underlying beliefs (what’s being said that’s usually being protected by formality), hidden character traits (what’s different in people’s actions when tension is present)—all while keeping a heightened sense of awareness of the environment you’re in.

Letting tension tense you up is a mistake.

When you find yourself in a tense environment, practice relaxing by slowing your breathing, dropping your shoulders, relaxing your facial muscles and tongue, and pausing before responding—right to the point where the silence is starting to feel awkward.

Then, respond with clarity; respond with patience; respond with a more complete understanding of the situation—respond with a relaxed confidence that the best leaders and speakers do when inside some of the most tense moments fathomable.

P.s. What To Do When The “Weight Of The World” Is On Your Shoulders.

Mind Weight

Published on February 19, 2023

Thoughts drain energy like movement drains energy.

Anyone who has sat at a desk for an entire day knows. You could have not gotten up once—not have spent a single calorie from physical movement—and still finished feeling like you unloaded an entire house’s worth of furniture from a moving truck that day—by yourself.

Which is simply to say: if your thoughts are rushing, bustling, and heavy—you’re going to tire more quickly.

And so if you want to do more inside your days—or maybe just do the things you’re doing better/ with more alertness and vitality—you have to learn to let go.

…Let go of the arguments you’re no longer having. Let go of the feelings of comparison that are making you feel like you’re not good enough. Let go of the self-limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs that do nothing but add weight to your mind.

In a world that’s obsessed with increasing energy levels through inputs… coffee… espressos… energy bars/ shots/ gummies/ etc… Maybe focusing on lighting your load is where you’ll actually get the greatest results… through meditation… journaling… therapeutic conversation… etc.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Stretching The Mind

Published on January 5, 2023

We don’t move toward flexibility in life—we move toward tension, brittleness, and restriction.

The more time we invest in stretching and mobility work, the more we move in the opposite direction.

The same is true with our inner states.

The default is to move toward tension, stress, and chaos.

The more time we invest in meditating, writing, and reflecting—the more we move in the opposite direction.

The other reason I love this analogy is because the same steady discomfort you feel while doing deep stretching is the same kind of steady tension you might feel in your mind while doing deep inner work.

The goal shouldn’t be to force the stretch to the point of agony or injury. The goal should be to find a place of tension that’s uncomfortable, but bearable—one that is sustainable.

Because the real benefit of stretching and inner work comes not from quick, sporadic sessions… but from steady, extended ones.

You won’t find inner peace after a few inner works sessions just like you won’t achieve a full split after a few stretching sessions.

But, with patience and a firm resolve… you just might move in that direction. And any inner peace gained, just as any flexibility gained, is always a win. This is the path.