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Category: Calming The Mind

Relaxed Confidence

Published on February 20, 2023

When you learn to relax inside tense moments with other people, you allow yourself to notice things you’d otherwise miss.

Things like ulterior motives (what’s the real driver behind the actions), underlying beliefs (what’s being said that’s usually being protected by formality), hidden character traits (what’s different in people’s actions when tension is present)—all while keeping a heightened sense of awareness of the environment you’re in.

Letting tension tense you up is a mistake.

When you find yourself in a tense environment, practice relaxing by slowing your breathing, dropping your shoulders, relaxing your facial muscles and tongue, and pausing before responding—right to the point where the silence is starting to feel awkward.

Then, respond with clarity; respond with patience; respond with a more complete understanding of the situation—respond with a relaxed confidence that the best leaders and speakers do when inside some of the most tense moments fathomable.

P.s. What To Do When The “Weight Of The World” Is On Your Shoulders.

Mind Weight

Published on February 19, 2023

Thoughts drain energy like movement drains energy.

Anyone who has sat at a desk for an entire day knows. You could have not gotten up once—not have spent a single calorie from physical movement—and still finished feeling like you unloaded an entire house’s worth of furniture from a moving truck that day—by yourself.

Which is simply to say: if your thoughts are rushing, bustling, and heavy—you’re going to tire more quickly.

And so if you want to do more inside your days—or maybe just do the things you’re doing better/ with more alertness and vitality—you have to learn to let go.

…Let go of the arguments you’re no longer having. Let go of the feelings of comparison that are making you feel like you’re not good enough. Let go of the self-limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs that do nothing but add weight to your mind.

In a world that’s obsessed with increasing energy levels through inputs… coffee… espressos… energy bars/ shots/ gummies/ etc… Maybe focusing on lighting your load is where you’ll actually get the greatest results… through meditation… journaling… therapeutic conversation… etc.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Stretching The Mind

Published on January 5, 2023

We don’t move toward flexibility in life—we move toward tension, brittleness, and restriction.

The more time we invest in stretching and mobility work, the more we move in the opposite direction.

The same is true with our inner states.

The default is to move toward tension, stress, and chaos.

The more time we invest in meditating, writing, and reflecting—the more we move in the opposite direction.

The other reason I love this analogy is because the same steady discomfort you feel while doing deep stretching is the same kind of steady tension you might feel in your mind while doing deep inner work.

The goal shouldn’t be to force the stretch to the point of agony or injury. The goal should be to find a place of tension that’s uncomfortable, but bearable—one that is sustainable.

Because the real benefit of stretching and inner work comes not from quick, sporadic sessions… but from steady, extended ones.

You won’t find inner peace after a few inner works sessions just like you won’t achieve a full split after a few stretching sessions.

But, with patience and a firm resolve… you just might move in that direction. And any inner peace gained, just as any flexibility gained, is always a win. This is the path.

Sunny/ Seventy Is The Way

Published on August 2, 2022

The ‘inner weather’ of our mind directly impacts how we get to travel in life.

A sunny/ seventy kind of mentality = full speed ahead.

An overcast/ foggy kind of mentality = which way is even forward?

In life, mental clarity is the sunny day that allows us to unleash our full energy and potential into the journey that lies ahead.

Mental cloudiness is what throttles all of our efforts to that creeping, hazard lights pace that makes the prospect of the journey seem so daunting, confusing, and un-accomplishable.

The good news with our “inner weather” vs the “outer weather” is that we can actually influence our inner weather.

Which is excellent news for the person who is driving 25mph forward on a road that they’re not even sure is correct.

How do we influence/ change our inner weather? By incorporating more of the tasks that lead to mental clarity and removing more of the tasks the lead to mental cloudiness.

Some tasks that lead to mental clarity:

  • Writing
  • Therapy
  • Meditation

Some tasks that lead to mental cloudiness:

  • Click-bait topics
  • Superficial Gossip
  • Busy, distraction-based work

Mental cloudiness is typically the byproduct of passive, modern day living. Click bait bombards you at every turn, superficial gossip is the comfortable/easy form of communication, and busy is essentially society’s status update.

Mental clarity is typically the byproduct of active, rebellious type living. Writing when click bait is buzzing… Therapy when superficial is literally calling your name… Meditation when busy is ingrained into your state of being…

If you want to unleash all of what’s inside, you need to rebel; you need to make space for clarity; you need to clear the fog that’s inside.

Less For Less Anxiety

Published on July 5, 2022

Wanna know why you feel anxious?

Too many open processes.

You’re doing too much; thinking too much; taking on too much.

What you need is a healthy dose of less.

Less obligation. Less running around. Less distraction.

So that you can focus more on closing what’s already open.

For When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed:

Published on May 24, 2022
  1. Breathe.
  2. Brain dump—write out why. Don’t worry about being neat, orderly, or proper. Just write. This will help you gain clarity. Include lingering thoughts that seem to keep reoccurring. Do this even if you think you already inherently know why. Most of the time, there’s a lot more to it than you think.
  3. Breathe again.
  4. Prioritize—mental health comes first. In all cases, you must take care of yourself before you can properly get anything else done that’s on your list. Once you feel solid, sort tasks so you know what’s top priority and what’s not.
  5. Breathe more.
  6. Make moves—don’t focus on the whole list. Focus on the first top task. Block out distractions. Get started. Don’t overthink this step—just make your inertia-breaking move.
  7. Keep breathing deeply.
  8. Use momentum—to help you get the next task done. Doing is easier once you’ve started. Maintain your momentum from one task to the next for as long as you can sustain it.
  9. Finish this stretch of work with some, you guessed it, deep breathing.
  10. Relish in the feeling of having gotten tasks done. Give yourself some credit. Remind yourself that your work will never be done. And let grace fill you up so you can mentally check-out and enjoy the next part of your day overwhelm and stress-free. After all, life is short and there’s PLENTY to be grateful for.
  11. BONUS: More breathing.

Note: Don’t just gloss over breathing like it’s a non-step. Breathing is fundamental to managing our physiology. And if we can take some quality time to breathe deeply and consciously, it will help us calm our state which, in turn, will only help us perform better.

Forced Clarity

Published on March 24, 2022

You can’t force clarity.

Clarity is something that needs to be surrendered to.

Like when you’re in the middle of a big life decision—stuffing more “solutions” into your mind will probably only further confuse the matter. When what’s really needed, in most cases, is less stuff altogether so that the quiet, unmistakable voice that speaks from deep within can offer its solution based on the depth of knowledge that’s already there.

Try to force the mudded pond to settle and you’ll mud it more.

Surrender to the settling process and the pond floor suddenly starts to come into view.