We think—then we feel—then we act.
Even when we think we act before we think or feel—we don’t.
We simply act really quickly in response to something we think and then feel.
Like when you get cut off in traffic. You don’t just act without a thought or feeling.
You just go from, “What are you doing you idiot?!?!” to feeling threatened to responding with road rage in what feels like a thoughtless snap.
Because that’s the response you’ve spent the most time training. Every time someone cut you off, right from the very beginning, that was the thought, feeling, action sequence that you practiced. And so it became a habit. So much so, that it feels thoughtless to you.
But it’s not. And it can be changed. Just like any other bad habit.
But first, you have to change how you think about those bad habits.
Rather than,“What are you doing you idiot?!?!” think, “Wow, I’m so thankful for my reaction time—this person obviously didn’t know what they were doing.” And let that lead to feeling proud of yourself for your awareness/ reaction time. And let that lead to a heightened sense of gratitude rather than road rage.
So long as you continue to think of the drivers around you as idiots, the feelings of being threatened will continue to emerge, and the response will continue to be road rage.
If you want to change how you act, change how you think, first.