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Tag: Quote Inspired

Go Back To Idle

“When in trouble, just let go. Go back to idle.”

Delia Owens, Where The Crawdads Sing (Page 41)

When you get yourself in trouble, it implies you’ve crossed a line; broken a rule; done harm.

Which further implies that there were faults in your mindset that led to faulty actions.

When the momentum of those decisions causes you to cross a line, break a rule, or do harm—the worse thing you can do is maintain that momentum.

Stop. Let go. Go back to idle.

Carefully inspect your thought process. Sit. Breathe. Adjust. Choose new actions; better actions.

Then, and only then, should you start again.

Follow Your Passion Is Bad Advice

“Your purpose comes from doing what you love. Your meaning comes from sharing it.”

Unknown

Worth elaborating on: “Doing what you love.”

I love watching Netflix, eating junk food, playing games, and surfing through social media. But, generally speaking, you and I both know that’s not where purpose comes from.

So, what kind of love are we talking about? We’re talking about the kind of love that leads to skill-building tasks. Skills are the currency of careers. And finding a career that properly utilizes your skills is what leads to a fulfilling sense of purpose.

This is why “follow your passion” can be bad advice.

Being passionate about something is, in-and-of-itself, worthless in the business world. Pay attention to your passions, sure! But, focus primarily on building skills in those areas of passion. That is how you’ll elevate yourself to a purposeful opportunity you can be proud of.

Take martial arts for example. Being passionate about martial arts is great. You can watch the movies, read the books, collect the posters, etc. But, until you learn how properly execute martial arts techniques, how to teach students of all ability levels, how to run the business side of the martial arts school, etc.—your passions are of little to no value.

Build skills in accordance to your passions. Elevate yourself to a purposeful position. Then, share it with the world.

When’s The Last Time You Took A Mind Shower?

“Just as you take a shower or bath in the morning to get yesterday’s dirt off your body, you do your spiritual practice in the morning to get yesterday’s thinking off your mind and heart.”

Marianne Williamson, via MoveMe Quotes

If you never take the time to “clean” your mind, of course it’s going to get “dirty.” This shouldn’t come as a surprise. You aren’t surprised when your body gets dirty after not having showered or bathed in a few days, right? We must start to look at our minds the same.

If your thinking is “mudded,” or “stinky” with demeaning thoughts, or covered in negativity, etc., then you need a mind shower, my friend! Here’s what you do:

  1. Set the environment for cleaning. When you shower you turn the water on, take off your clothes, and leave your phone in the other room (hopefully). Likewise, for mind cleaning: turn a timer or background sounds on, “take off” your old thoughts, and leave your phone in the other room.
  2. Use soap, shampoo, and conditioner. For mind cleaning, like showering, just turning the water on and stepping in isn’t enough. You have to actively engage in the cleaning process. Let returning to your breath or a guided meditation be your soap. Let writing your extraneous thoughts down be your shampoo. Let mantra be your conditioner.
  3. Dry yourself off and put on fresh clothes. Come back into the reality of the world with a more clean and clear mind. Dry yourself off with a walk, a visit to nature, or some relaxing activity. And “dress” your mind with some positive reading, fresh conversation, or constructive listening (to podcasts or mentors).

Without regular mind cleaning, you’re going to start to stink—it’s as inevitable as starting to stink without bodily cleaning. Ideally, we should put into place a daily practice, like showering, to keep our minds consistently clean. You can try to cover it up with quick-fixes like deodorant or perfume, but eventually, your stinkiness will seep through. And nobody likes hanging around a smelly mind.

We All Fall Down (To The Level Of Our Systems)

“You do not rise to the level of your goals.  You fall to the level of your systems.”

James Clear

Before the start of every competition, it’s safe to assume that every competitor has the same goal—to win.  And yet, not all do. Only one person wins.  So, what’s the difference maker? Is it the size of a person’s desire? I think someone can want to win remarkably more than other competitors and still lose. Size of desire, in and of itself, isn’t the major factor in winning and losing. So, what is?

It’s what we do with our desire that counts.  If I change my goal from wanting to read one book per month to wanting to read five, but change nothing with my habits—nothing changes!  Yes, it’s important to have the goal identified so you have a direction and focus (and bigger goals might put you on different paths), but once you have that, all of your energy should be directed towards system building.

What do systems look like?  Your system for reading might be to read at least 1 page before bed every night.  Your system for exercising might be to do at least 5 minutes of bodyweight exercise every morning.  Your system for healthy eating might be to eat at least 1 apple every day for lunch.  This, of course, is where size matters—the bigger your systems, the bigger your results.  Systems are the vehicles that are going to take you to your goals—your goals are simply the destination.

This is such an important reminder.  We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems. Don’t share with me your goals; share with me your systems.  Goals don’t impress me—we all want to change the world and do big things.  Share with me what you’re doing every day that’s going to get you there.  That’s where the magic happens.  That’s where thoughts become reality.  That’s where winners spend their time.

The Paradox Of Personal Change

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Carl Rogers, Via MoveMe Quotes

Putting on a mask doesn’t change who you are. It may change your outward appearance, but underneath—there you are. Wearing a mask might make you feel different and therefore may entice you to act different, but, when the mask comes off—so, too, does the behavior. They are intertwined. If they weren’t, then why wear the mask?

Social media is the modern-day digital mask. It allows you to change your outward appearance at scale. From the comfort of your home, you can filter how you look, prop up a facade to change the way you live, and surround yourself with people pumped up on vanity metrics. But, after you’re done thumbing through your phone and the screen turns off—there you are. No different than you were before you turned the phone on.

When you accept yourself just as you are, what you’re really doing is accepting your current situation and limitations—as they are. You’re not trying to pretend you’re somebody you’re not, who is living a lifestyle you actually aren’t, who is doing things you, in fact, are not. You’re admitting to yourself your real identity, what you’re actually capable of, and what your current situation will realistically allow you to do.

And there you are. And finally, the real change can begin.

Leave No Room For Exceptions

“Exceptions lead to more exceptions. It’s really easy to justify not doing [a] new habit (or doing an old habit you’re trying to quit) by saying, ‘Just one time won’t hurt.’ Except that it will, because now you think it’s OK to make exceptions. And now you don’t really trust yourself to stick to your promise to yourself. It’s much more effective to not make exceptions—catch yourself if you’re thinking about it and trying to justify it, and remember your motivations. When I quit smoking, I told myself Not One Puff Ever (NOPE).”

Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

The habit changes that I’ve had the most success with have been the ones that I’ve been the most strict with myself about.  When I started drinking coffee black, I told myself No Cream Or Sugar Ever.  When I cut donuts from my diet, I told myself Not One Bite Ever.  When I stopped drinking alcohol, I told myself Not One Sip Ever.

Like Babauta, I made sure there were no exceptions or ‘gray-areas’ to these habit changes—and while that might sound harsh and intense, it actually made the habit change process easier for me.

The problem with setting up more vague goals like, “I’m going to try to stop drinking my coffee with cream and sugar,” or “I’m going to try to eat less donuts,” or “I’m really not going to go out and drink as much anymore,” is that it leaves room for mental negotiation. Which, as I’m sure you’re all too familiar with, leads to longharddraining mental fights.

And the problem with long, hard, draining mental fights with your forever argumentative, unrelenting mind is that—you’ll eventually lose.But, just one donut won’t hurt, right?  Well, how do you decide which days to follow this goal and which days not to?  How will you know for sure when it’s okay to stray from your intentions?  Why is it okay to mess up on some days but not others?

When you set out strong from the beginning and make your goals “black-and-white,” whatever they might be for you, there’s no question.No confusion. No special situations or exceptions. The answer is always and every time, “NOPE.”  Easy. End of discussion. Onto the next thought.

On Feeling ALL Of Your Feelings

“Feel all of your feelings but don’t assume to know what they mean. Allow the truth of each feeling to be revealed to you.”

Maryam Hasnaa, via MoveMe Quotes

Within each of us is an entire community of emotions. We are never composed of just one emotion. Our inner community is made up of happy emotions and sad emotions; excited emotions and anxious emotions; hopeful emotions and fearful emotions; loving emotions and hateful emotions; and so forth. And how we treat each of these emotions—each community member—will determine our overall spirit.

By expanding our inner workings from just “how we generally feel” to a community of individual members with different needs, we can start to honor each of our inner members with the attention, energy, and respect they deserve. The tendency, when focusing just on “overall feeling,” is to honor the feelings of happiness, joy, pleasure—and to suppress and vilify the feelings of sadness, upset, and hurt.

But, feelings of sadness, upset, and hurt don’t just come from nothing—they’re sourced from pain and are there to communicate crucial insights about your inner community.

When those community members are disrespected, blown off, and demonized—it makes things in your inner community worse. Eventually, as it happens in life, those community members start spewing hate, anger, and upset at other community members until—inevitably—there is an uprising. This is when breakdowns, explosions, and life-halting crisis happen. And it’s what will cause them to continue happening until the uprising has been properly dealt with and those community members have settled.

We have to look at ourselves as the presiding ruler of our inner community—because that’s what we are. We are not just one person who has one emotion at any given time. We are one person who is looking after many, many community emotions inside. And how we treat any of those emotions—community members—is as noteworthy and important as how we treat any of the others.