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Tag: Quote Inspired

Criticism Surgery

Want to learn how to become shielded from the unsolicited, hateful, derogatory critiques of others? Stamp this onto your brain:

Don’t accept criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice.

  • Someone called you dumb? Would you ever ask this person for their honest opinion on your character? No? Then why listen to them when you didn’t ask?
  • Someone hated on your creation? Is this the type of person who actually understands this type of creation and can genuinely comment? No? Then why take their comment to heart?
  • Someone said something rude or hurtful? If I told you to list your top 5 favorite people to get advice from, would this person be on that list? No? Then why let them on that list now?

And if the answer is ever, “Yes”—you would go to this person for advice—then it’s important to reflect on the following:

(1) Is this the best person for you to be going to for advice? People who give advice in hateful, derogatory, negative ways may cause more harm to our path forward than benefit.

(2) If the answer is still yes, then, assuming there is anything constructive in their feedback, we must train our minds to surgically remove the gems from the emotional weight that burdens and collapses in on what’s said.

Because here’s the bottom line: feedback won’t always come in a pretty package.

And if we can learn how to accept what’s useful, how to disregard what (and who) is not, and how to keep ourselves in mentally healthy places so we can conduct criticism surgery with precision and poise at even a moment’s notice—our growth will become inevitable.

The Freedom To Feel

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

Dr. Seuss

To which I would change to:

Cry if you feel to, smile at the wholeness of what happened.

Not as catchy, I admit. But, worth considering.

Telling yourself not to cry—to not acknowledge the weight of a hard situation is to reject a key component of any given experience.

Only focusing on the smiles will limit depth. Only focusing on depth will limit smiles. It’s the whole experience—the entirety of the human experience—that we should be after.

Allow yourself to flow freely between both—and all.

Go Back To Idle

“When in trouble, just let go. Go back to idle.”

Delia Owens, Where The Crawdads Sing (Page 41)

When you get yourself in trouble, it implies you’ve crossed a line; broken a rule; done harm.

Which further implies that there were faults in your mindset that led to faulty actions.

When the momentum of those decisions causes you to cross a line, break a rule, or do harm—the worse thing you can do is maintain that momentum.

Stop. Let go. Go back to idle.

Carefully inspect your thought process. Sit. Breathe. Adjust. Choose new actions; better actions.

Then, and only then, should you start again.

Follow Your Passion Is Bad Advice

“Your purpose comes from doing what you love. Your meaning comes from sharing it.”

Unknown

Worth elaborating on: “Doing what you love.”

I love watching Netflix, eating junk food, playing games, and surfing through social media. But, generally speaking, you and I both know that’s not where purpose comes from.

So, what kind of love are we talking about? We’re talking about the kind of love that leads to skill-building tasks. Skills are the currency of careers. And finding a career that properly utilizes your skills is what leads to a fulfilling sense of purpose.

This is why “follow your passion” can be bad advice.

Being passionate about something is, in-and-of-itself, worthless in the business world. Pay attention to your passions, sure! But, focus primarily on building skills in those areas of passion. That is how you’ll elevate yourself to a purposeful opportunity you can be proud of.

Take martial arts for example. Being passionate about martial arts is great. You can watch the movies, read the books, collect the posters, etc. But, until you learn how properly execute martial arts techniques, how to teach students of all ability levels, how to run the business side of the martial arts school, etc.—your passions are of little to no value.

Build skills in accordance to your passions. Elevate yourself to a purposeful position. Then, share it with the world.

When’s The Last Time You Took A Mind Shower?

“Just as you take a shower or bath in the morning to get yesterday’s dirt off your body, you do your spiritual practice in the morning to get yesterday’s thinking off your mind and heart.”

Marianne Williamson, via MoveMe Quotes

If you never take the time to “clean” your mind, of course it’s going to get “dirty.” This shouldn’t come as a surprise. You aren’t surprised when your body gets dirty after not having showered or bathed in a few days, right? We must start to look at our minds the same.

If your thinking is “mudded,” or “stinky” with demeaning thoughts, or covered in negativity, etc., then you need a mind shower, my friend! Here’s what you do:

  1. Set the environment for cleaning. When you shower you turn the water on, take off your clothes, and leave your phone in the other room (hopefully). Likewise, for mind cleaning: turn a timer or background sounds on, “take off” your old thoughts, and leave your phone in the other room.
  2. Use soap, shampoo, and conditioner. For mind cleaning, like showering, just turning the water on and stepping in isn’t enough. You have to actively engage in the cleaning process. Let returning to your breath or a guided meditation be your soap. Let writing your extraneous thoughts down be your shampoo. Let mantra be your conditioner.
  3. Dry yourself off and put on fresh clothes. Come back into the reality of the world with a more clean and clear mind. Dry yourself off with a walk, a visit to nature, or some relaxing activity. And “dress” your mind with some positive reading, fresh conversation, or constructive listening (to podcasts or mentors).

Without regular mind cleaning, you’re going to start to stink—it’s as inevitable as starting to stink without bodily cleaning. Ideally, we should put into place a daily practice, like showering, to keep our minds consistently clean. You can try to cover it up with quick-fixes like deodorant or perfume, but eventually, your stinkiness will seep through. And nobody likes hanging around a smelly mind.

We All Fall Down (To The Level Of Our Systems)

“You do not rise to the level of your goals.  You fall to the level of your systems.”

James Clear

Before the start of every competition, it’s safe to assume that every competitor has the same goal—to win.  And yet, not all do. Only one person wins.  So, what’s the difference maker? Is it the size of a person’s desire? I think someone can want to win remarkably more than other competitors and still lose. Size of desire, in and of itself, isn’t the major factor in winning and losing. So, what is?

It’s what we do with our desire that counts.  If I change my goal from wanting to read one book per month to wanting to read five, but change nothing with my habits—nothing changes!  Yes, it’s important to have the goal identified so you have a direction and focus (and bigger goals might put you on different paths), but once you have that, all of your energy should be directed towards system building.

What do systems look like?  Your system for reading might be to read at least 1 page before bed every night.  Your system for exercising might be to do at least 5 minutes of bodyweight exercise every morning.  Your system for healthy eating might be to eat at least 1 apple every day for lunch.  This, of course, is where size matters—the bigger your systems, the bigger your results.  Systems are the vehicles that are going to take you to your goals—your goals are simply the destination.

This is such an important reminder.  We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems. Don’t share with me your goals; share with me your systems.  Goals don’t impress me—we all want to change the world and do big things.  Share with me what you’re doing every day that’s going to get you there.  That’s where the magic happens.  That’s where thoughts become reality.  That’s where winners spend their time.

The Paradox Of Personal Change

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Carl Rogers, Via MoveMe Quotes

Putting on a mask doesn’t change who you are. It may change your outward appearance, but underneath—there you are. Wearing a mask might make you feel different and therefore may entice you to act different, but, when the mask comes off—so, too, does the behavior. They are intertwined. If they weren’t, then why wear the mask?

Social media is the modern-day digital mask. It allows you to change your outward appearance at scale. From the comfort of your home, you can filter how you look, prop up a facade to change the way you live, and surround yourself with people pumped up on vanity metrics. But, after you’re done thumbing through your phone and the screen turns off—there you are. No different than you were before you turned the phone on.

When you accept yourself just as you are, what you’re really doing is accepting your current situation and limitations—as they are. You’re not trying to pretend you’re somebody you’re not, who is living a lifestyle you actually aren’t, who is doing things you, in fact, are not. You’re admitting to yourself your real identity, what you’re actually capable of, and what your current situation will realistically allow you to do.

And there you are. And finally, the real change can begin.