Do our dream people find us… or do we find them?
…Both.
I think the point is to be open to the infinite possibilities of the world and to constantly expose ourselves to others while simultaneously engaging with those who curiously cross our paths—both directly and subtly.
Waiting to be found isn’t a good strategy.
And neither is desperately searching.
Somewhere in the middle though? …I think is where the real magic of connection happens.
I posed the following question on Twitter:
Do you think humans were more free BEFORE or AFTER cell phones?
The majority vote was BEFORE.
Which makes my take an unpopular opinion. Here we go:
I think when cell phones restrict freedom is when WE become addicted to THEM.
I don’t think there’s anything inherently freedom-restricting in having a cellphone.
In fact, if we’re disciplined and mindful, I think they’ve unlocked an incredible realm of freedom that was otherwise unavailable to us pre-cellphone.
Today, we’re able to do the same things we were before: nature retreats, family dinner, walk, hike, play outside, twiddle our thumbs, shoot the shit with neighbors, sit in silence… WITH the added option(s) of being able to connect with a friend who live in Malaysia or coach clients who live in Colorado or learn from the Dalai Lama who’s giving a live talk in Tibet.
The freedom is unprecedented.
But, generally speaking, so are the low levels of self-discipline (an observation not a fact).
No one says we must use cell phones; we choose to use them because of the opportunities they provide. Otherwise, why not just ditch the cellphone altogether and backpedal to a more “free” life you once knew before?
Maybe, if we start treating our (possible) addiction to them more seriously and draw more firm boundaries, have some planned media detoxes, and find ways to untangle their intertwined connection to our lives… maybe we’ll discover a type of freedom that far exceeds anything we might remember having before.
But, that’s just my take.
I digress.
P.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reply on Twitter, LinkedIn, or via email. 🙂
A question I’ve been chewing on lately:
“If I was coaching me what uncomfortable questions would I ask myself and (the important part) push myself to answer?”
Because ultimately, this is what many of the best coaches do. Why? Because we’re much more likely to believe the things we tell ourselves over the things others tell us.
And a good coach knows, if they can get you to say to yourself what they were just going to straight up tell you… their message will be far more likely to stick.
And how does one do this? By asking the right questions.
So, why not sit yourself down, get yourself a cup of coffee, put on some noise-cancelling headphones, and give it a shot yourself?
Even 15 minutes can completely alter the direction of your life.
Or… you could pay someone thousands and they could do it for you? Or… you could just not do it at all?
As always… growth in life will always be a personal choice.
The point I want to make is: the choice to grow is closer (and less expensive) than you might think.
P.s. Got any good questions that have led to noteworthy personal growth? Send a reply. I’d love to hear them.
If you burned away everything you knew about yourself… what would remain?
This was one of the most remarkable questions I was asked while at Burning Man.
Worth reiterating: if everything I knew about myself…
…was burned away—what would I have left inside?
Before you read my answer, I encourage you to pause here and think about how you would answer this question…
Go ahead, I’ll still be here when you’re done…
The answer I came up with (which didn’t come quickly or easily) was everything I had when I was born:
Which made me think: a lot of what we carry with us in identity/ experience/ education is worth burning.
Not everything, of course, because there is a lot in identity/ experience/ and education that we carry that’s worth protecting.
But, there’s a lot that extinguishes our curiosity; deadens our liveliness; contaminates our innocence; removes our immediacy; and kills our compassion.
And that, is where the real inner work begins.
Not in trying to add to what’s already inside… but in working to subtract—to burn away—everything that’s corrupting what’s already there.
How would you answer this question? I’d love to hear. Simply send a reply 🙂
How important is it to wake up early in the morning?
…Not that important.
What time you wake up is arbitrary.
What matters is what you do during your waking hours and how you prioritize your time.
Some get to bed by 9pm—others can’t go to bed until 12am.
Expecting both to wake up at 5am is silly.
Some people work better and are more efficient at night. Others in the morning. And others still, midday.
What’s important isn’t a specific time (because a successful person said that’s what they do).
What’s important is self-awareness.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but, this is one of the most powerful questions I’ve ever come across:
What good can come from this?
There’s always something.
“Out of sight, out of mind” can be an excellent model for improving the overall quality of your life.
Put what you want IN your mind, IN sight.
Take what you DON’T want in your mind, OUT of sight.
As obvious as this might sound, I can’t tell you how many people keep what they don’t want in their mind in sight and keep what they do want in their mind out of sight.
Look closely at what you allow to stay in (and out of) sight for the entire duration of a typical day and adjust accordingly.
And not just physically—digitally, too.
Don’t underestimate this.