Tag: Question Inspired

Give More Credit To What’s Within

At what point do we stop seeking answers from others and start seeking answers within ourselves?

It feels to me like most people only turn towards their inner guidance once they’ve exhausted answers from the outside world.

Which, to me, feels backwards in most cases.

If you’re dealing with a life threatening illness or building a home from scratch or fighting a legal battle, then of course, seek answers from those who are professionally suited to solve those problems.

But, when you’re dealing with inner or interpersonal problems… the best strategy might be to seek answers from within until those are exhausted and then turn to the ideas of others.

Like when it comes to health… you probably know what you need to do… get serious and exhaust all those ideas first.

Or when it comes to relationships… they can get complicated… but they can also be simplified and I bet your inner guidance might know how to do that.

Or when it comes to career… the pressure to earn coupled with the exponential number of paths can make choosing overwhelming… and consulting others can convolute it even more… but take a good look within… and it’ll quickly become more and more evident which path(s) are best suited for you.

In most cases, I don’t think we give our inner wisdom enough credit. And with that lack of faith for what’s within, we don’t give it enough time or energy. And so we rely more and more on the information that pours in through our devices… but, this noise only further disrupts the pond of our mind.

Let it settle, listen a little closer, and you’ll soon see.

Who Is A Strong Person?

Last week, my martial arts students and I reflected on the question, “Who is a rich person?“

This week, we reflected on, “Who is a strong person?”

And the question I asked to help them gather their ideas was, “Who is one of the strongest people you know in your life?” And “Why?”

…And not a single person mentioned someone because of their sheer physical strength.

Each person mentioned somebody because of their emotional and/or mental strength.

They mentioned people who showed resilience, grit, patience, kindness, and courage in the face of adversity and unfairness in life… Parents who brilliantly juggled family, career, health, and more in spite of incredible challenges… People who were diagnosed with life threatening illnesses yet maintained a constructive outlook and found ways to carry through.

While physical strength is certainly impressive, the takeaway for me is that it’s built mostly for the individual… whereas emotional and/or mental strength is a strength that benefits every single person that individual interacts with.

I’m sure you have crossed paths with a muscle-head who was an absolute a-hole… who was, yes, utilizing a type of emotion and/or mental strength to develop their physical strength—but it was for the sole purpose of vanity… it was for themselves.

Whereas the people who develop their mental strength—by building discipline, courage, focus, respect, etc… or the people who develop their emotional strength—by practicing mindfulness, patience, openness, and do inner work… become sources of strength for us all.

P.s. One of the strongest people I ever knew was my great grandmother. Here’s why.

When Fast Slows Down

What could you do, right now, that would make someone want to send you a hand written thank you letter? …Or, maybe a modern day best, a thoughtful text or email reply?

…Answer this question and you’ll have some pretty great pitstop ideas you could take from the long and oftentimes tiresome travels of your day—your life.

Because while it’s crucial to begin with the end in mind—to keep in focus where it is we’re trying to go—it’s also crucial to find ways to pitstop, to wander, to enjoy the scenery and people along the way.

And the things we might do that would elicit a quick “thanks” or wave (or serve no purpose and elicit zero response) maybe aren’t the best places to pitstop. Maybe we could take that time, strategically add a little intention that’s harnessed from the question above, and emerge with a scenic detour that becomes an absolute highlight of the travels of our day—our life.

See, getting to our destination fast isn’t greater than getting to our destination full. And full happens when fast slows down and adds a little intention, awareness, and generosity along the way.

P.s. For a deep dive into this topic, check out my guide: The Art of Forward: Direction > Speed.

What Feels Alive For Me Now?

…This is a question that guides my friend Nat’s life.

Whenever he’s presented with an opportunity or comes to a fork in the road or simply notices a rise in unpleasant emotion—he sits with this question.

Because what felt alive yesterday, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive today.

And what felt alive for a decade, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive for the coming one.

And this is an important realization to have.

For something to feel alive, it has to feel the way it feels to look into the eyes of a baby—your baby.

Because following the natural flow of what feels alive isn’t about being flaky; it’s not just about doing things when you feel like it. It’s about honoring the evolving nature of your baby and helping your baby realize it’s full, complete potential.

…Because your baby isn’t just one task, one person, one job, one career, one dream, etc… your baby is the living embodiment of all of those things wrapped into one.

Just as your child will have ever evolving aptitudes, interests, curiosities, skills, and talents… so, too, will your life be an ever evolving portfolio of aptitudes explored, interests investigated, curiosities followed, skills built, and talents developed.

But, if you ignore the call to what feels alive… if you suppress the feelings that are telling you that something feels dead… if you keep pushing forward while refusing to check your internal compass…

Don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere that’s filled with regret.

P.s. My 30 day guide can help ensure you don’t live a life that ends with regret. Details here.

Is The Suffering Worth It?

Is the suffering worth the contribution?

I have this question sticky-noted at the bottom of my computer screen so that I read it every day.

And whenever I feel like I’m suffering from the work I’m choosing to do… I ask myself… Is it worth the contribution it provides?

If the answer is no, I stop doing it. Or begin to plan ways I can phase it out of my life (whatever “it” is).

And if the answer is yes, well then, I suffer a little less and feel better as I get back to it.

Earning The Imperfect Side

One of the most remarkable questions I was asked this year at Burning Man was: What does it take for a person to earn your vulnerability?

Which is a timely question as there’s a great lack in vulnerability sharing which is what’s causing a great lack in connection creating—aka modern day loneliness.

Our vulnerabilities are the sides of ourselves that are soft, silly, quirky, scared, hurt, and otherwise perceived as imperfect. Whereas what we share digitally—which is where most of us share in the modern world—is the opposite of that. It’s our highlight reel that features us in our most “perfect” form.

The problem this causes, of course, is that it’s through the sharing of our vulnerabilities that we’re able to genuinely connect with others. Two perfect highlight reel people only have superficial understandings of one another. It’s the people who share the “behind-the-scenes,” “blooper reels,” and “off camera/ no audience/ completely un-self-conscious” sides of themselves who get to connect on deeper levels.

And so to return to the question… What does it take for a person to earn your imperfect side? …The side that could be hurt, made fun of, or laughed at? The side you hide from internet trolls, bullies, and a-holes?

…Trust.

It is and always will be, for me at least, trust.

Which is earned in small sums with each made and kept promise; and is lost in huge withdrawals with each made and promise broken. Once the small sum deposits cross a certain threshold, you gain access to my vulnerable side. And if they don’t or never do—you don’t.

Your turn: What does it take for somebody to earn your vulnerability?

Not Feeling Like Yourself?

Try removing yourself from ALL current sources of outside influence (e.g. media, friends, parents) and write.

Write like hell.

Write everything that’s circling in your mind.

Then, re-read what you wrote and write whatever else comes to mind from those writings.

Then, just sit in the quiet for a while… pay attention to your wandering mind.

See if anything else comes up.

If it does, write all of whatever that is out, too.

Continue this process until the sediments of your mind have settled—maybe not completely… but, enough. Enough to have gained some clarity over the situation.

Then, look with fresh eyes at what was causing you to not feel like yourself.

And act accordingly.

Lesson: it’s hard to know what’s affecting you when you’re in the middle of the affecting environment. You need to remove yourself and purge your mind so that you can look back at the environment(s) you were in with fresh eyes.

P.s. I also published: Feeling Lost? Phil Stutz Says Don’t Try To Figure It Out. Here’s Why: