Tag: Mid Sized

Playing Versus Playing It Safe

Published on May 22, 2021

What’s more important, watching your back or watching your step?

If your goal is to avoid pain, then watching your back would be the priority. You’d pay close attention to your vulnerabilities. You’d caution yourself around people and take your time looking for their conniving sides. You wouldn’t give people anything they could later use to hurt you with. You’d constantly be looking for ways to build bigger and stronger walls. You’d play it safe.

If your goal is to keep moving forward, then you’d prioritize watching your step. You’d pay close attention to your strengths. You’d check the rooms you’re in for opportunities, paths, directions—and you’d take your time looking for the fun in people. You’d give people anything that might help them keep moving forward because it, in all likelihood, would help you keep moving forward, too. You’d play.

Here’s the thing: are you less likely to get hurt playing it safe? Of course. Playing it safe—watching your back—is like sitting on the bench while at the playground. It’s the place where you’re least likely to get hurt. You’re positioned ideally to keep everybody in front of you, your chances of accidental bumpings/ bruises/ or bangs are minimized, and you can focus your attention solely on safety. But, is that really your life goal? To sit on the bench while staring at a playground?

Here’s what I think: when there’s a playground in front of you—you go and play. Playing is exploration. It’s interaction. It’s experimentation. It’s conflict resolution. It’s problem solving. It’s getting bumped/ bruised/ and banged—and getting back up. It’s having fun. And so it is with life, too. The point isn’t to not get hurt; the point is to play. Not to play it safe looking backwards, but to play joyfully with eyes eagerly forward.

We All Fall Down (To The Level Of Our Systems)

Published on May 21, 2021

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear

Before the start of every competition, it’s safe to assume that every competitor has the same goal—to win. And yet, not all do. Only one person wins. So, what’s the difference maker? Is it the size of a person’s desire? I think someone can want to win remarkably more than other competitors and still lose. Size of desire, in and of itself, isn’t the major factor in winning and losing. So, what is?

It’s what we do with our desire that counts. If I change my goal from wanting to read one book per month to wanting to read five, but change nothing with my habits—nothing changes! Yes, it’s important to have the goal identified so you have a direction and focus (and bigger goals might put you on different paths), but once you have that, all of your energy should be directed towards system building.

What do systems look like? Your system for reading might be to read at least 1 page before bed every night. Your system for exercising might be to do at least 5 minutes of bodyweight exercise every morning. Your system for healthy eating might be to eat at least 1 apple every day for lunch. This, of course, is where size matters—the bigger your systems, the bigger your results. Systems are the vehicles that are going to take you to your goals—your goals are simply the destination.

This is such an important reminder. We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems. Don’t share with me your goals; share with me your systems. Goals don’t impress me—we all want to change the world and do big things. Share with me what you’re doing every day that’s going to get you there. That’s where the magic happens. That’s where thoughts become reality. That’s where winners spend their time.

The Crux Of The Climb

Published on May 20, 2021

The goal of rock climbing—whether indoors or out—is to reach the summit of a formation or the endpoint of a usually pre-defined route without falling. In most cases, there isn’t just one way to accomplish this. In fact, each climber usually tackles the problem in their own unique ways with various changes in grip, stance, position, weight distribution, technique, style, etc. But, what’s universal on every route is the presence of a crux.

The crux is a particular point of difficulty. It’s the “make-it-or-break-it” point on the route. It’s the point where most climbers fail. Sometimes the challenge is the technique that’s called for. Sometimes it’s the strength that’s required. Sometimes it’s the athleticism and coordination that’s needed. If one of those areas is lacking, the climber will fall—there is no skipping over the crux.

The same is true for our climbs in life. Along the various routes that we’re on—career/family/love—there are going to be crux points. Particular points of difficulty that will require more of us than the rest of the climb has and maybe will. This is where we need to particularly focus our attention, energy, and effort.

Those moments when you don’t feel like doing what you know needs to get done? Crux point. That time at the party when someone offers you a drink, but you’ve been sober for 90 days? Crux point. The days when you wake up feeling groggy and heavy and don’t want to workout even though you’ve got a streak going? Crux point.

These moments aren’t going to require an average, everyday effort. They’re going to require a person’s best effort. Some situations might call for more advanced techniques, others might ask for extra strength, and others might require more coordinated plans of attack and strategies. Those who don’t show up ready, will fall. Those who come prepared will cross and get to carry on towards their summit.

Thoughts On Handling “Heavy” Days

Published on May 19, 2021

Do you ever get those days that just feel, heavy? That’s how the past few days have felt for me. I’m not quite sure why. Nothing obvious seems to be triggering it and I can’t seem to easily shake it. My instinct is to fight it or vilify it because it’s an undesired feeling, but maybe there’s a better way.

After thinking about it more deeply, it seems to me that vilifying an emotion is exactly what turns an emotion into a villain. After all, if it’s seen as a villain, called a villain, treated like a villain, and thrown aggressively into the darkness like a villain—how could it not become a villain? Maybe a better approach would be to allow it. To give it space. To let it move when it arrives. To give it the light of consciousness rather than the darkness of ignorance. To treat it with compassion.

Think about it. What happens when you choose to fight a passing by emotion? It’s precisely what causes it to stop in its tracks, put up its guard, and throw down against you and your will.

And it’s not like there are any “emotional police” who can come to break up the fight. It’s a battle to knockout or submission. And if one beats the other, then what? Hand shakes, inner peace, and lightness? I’d argue that the more likely outcome is resentment, begrudging, and spiraled darkness. And so the recurring battle against “heaviness” is born.

I believe that fighting an emotion—any emotion—will only negatively magnify it. Allowing an emotion to move is how it passes. Maybe this is why the “light” days seem to pass so quickly? You give them the space, path, light, and compassion to move comfortably forward and with ease—and so they do. Maybe that’s exactly what we need to do for our “heavy” days, too?

The Problem With Forcing Yourself Into New Habits

Published on May 18, 2021

“When you have to, you find an excuse. When you want to, you find a way.”
Mustafa Khundmiri, Twitter

One mistake people make when trying to adopt new habits is they try to force themselves into new behaviors rather than ease themselves into them. While we certainly have to force ourselves to do things sometimes—forcing isn’t a good long-term strategy.

Eventually, forcing leads to resentment and resentment leads quickly to excuses. Sick? Excuse. Tired? Excuse. Busy? Excuse. Stubbed toe? Excuse. The wind blew differently? Excuse. To the person uninterested in doing the work—who resents the work—anything can (and usually will) be made into an excuse.

To the person interested in doing the work, however, anything can happen and an alternative is always sought and usually found. Sick? Alternative. Tired? Indomitable spirit. Busy? Not for top priorities. Stubbed toe? Got nine other fully functional ones. Wind blew wrong? Stop being ridiculous.

When you ease yourself into new habits, for the right reasons, you drastically change your relationship with the accompanying behaviors. Rather than the behaviors being something you resent and have to force yourself to do, they can become something you actually enjoy and look forward to doing.

Think about one healthy habit that you already have incorporated into your life that you most look forward to. We all have at least one. Then, think about why. From there, think about how you can incorporate another healthy habit that mimics those reasons. And ease yourself into a more enjoyable lifestyle in a more enjoyable way.

Milestones In What (Later) Feels Like Minutes

Published on May 15, 2021

I distinctly remember times when I would look out of my middle school classroom window and think to myself, “Wow—before I know it, I’m going to be in high school.”

And years later, when I would think back on that thought in high school, I would again think to myself, “Wow—at this rate, before I know it, I’m going to be graduating college.”

And in what felt like the blink of an eye, there I was walking across the graduation stage. I even remember thinking shortly thereafter, “Wow—pretty soon it will have been 10 years since I’ve graduated college.”

And that’s the milestone that I just hit this month. And here I am thinking to myself again, “Wow—pretty soon I’ll be finishing up my 30s and moving into a whole new decade.”

The thought of time going by that fast scares me. But, it also drives me to make every moment worthwhile while I’m here—in my 30s. Because before I know it, in what will surely feel like the blink of an eye, I’ll be turning 40 and once again in awe of how fast time flew by.

Best to make the best of it while we’re here, where we are—today.

Motivation Follows Action (Not The Other Way Around)

Published on May 14, 2021

I feel the least motivated to workout right before it’s time to workout. I’m usually tired, achy, sore, and being relentlessly poked and prodded by my brain about everything else I have to do (and why I should skip). Exercise is never appealing at the onset.

I feel the most motivated about working out right after I finish. I’m pumped up with endorphins, reminded of all the benefits of exercise, and in a much better place to handle the endless list of tasks in front of me. There’s never a workout I regret doing.

Most of the time when I sit to write, I feel uninspired and unmotivated. It’s only on a rare occasion that I’m motivated and have an idea of what I want to say. My norm is to look at the dreaded blank page cluelessly.

Here’s the thing: I write on both occasions; I workout on both occasions—I try to be the person who doesn’t miss. I try to remember that as soon as I hit “publish” I’m going to be back on cloud nine. And that as soon as I finish that last rep of that last set, I’ll be exercises biggest fan once more.

You see, you don’t show up with motivation so that you can take the actions—you show up with the actions so that you can take the motivation. The trick is getting used to showing up without motivation. Once you can get in the habit of doing that, the result is an unwavering dedication that can last a lifetime.

This post became the introduction for: 16 Fierce Jocko Willink Quotes from Discipline Equals Freedom