You are important.
Don’t do unimportant stuff.
When you do unimportant stuff, you are subconsciously affirming that you are unimportant.
Because only unimportant people do unimportant stuff.
Treat yourself better than that.
Step up the importance of your tasks.
Do more of the things you think are important to do.
And do less of the things you know aren’t.
Start reaffirming to yourself that you are, indeed, important and worthy of completing important tasks.
Because you are.
Imagine coming across someone who was looking at their reflection in the mirror, without moving, for a considerable length of time. And you ask them what they’re doing, to which they reply, “I’m waiting for my reflection to smile.”
You’d probably chalk that person up as crazy.
But, what’s the difference between that person and the person waiting for a considerable length of time for their circumstances to change? Staring at your circumstances unwilling to make the first move until your circumstances smile back at you—is the same thing!
Circumstances change when you change.
Smile first.
Writing a book is hard. Writing one sentence is easy.
Earning a black belt in martial arts is hard. Attending one class is easy.
Freeing yourself from the grips of anxiety is hard. Meditating for a few minutes is easy.
Everything in life that’s hard, is just a series of things that are easy.
You just have to break things down further and take the first, small step.
And then take it again. And again. Until you’ve done what’s hard.
Rather than think about who you didn’t have in your life, think about who you could be in someone else’s life.
There is a particularly strong opportunity for this in the spaces where you were hurt the most by the people who you wish were there the most.
Why? Because you know just how much it hurts.
And there are plenty of people out there who are hurting just as much—if not more—from a similar type of absence.
And, just think, you could be the one who fills that void.
I reiterate: temporary madness.
Give it some space. Take some time away from the situation. Become sane again.
Let the haze of emotion settle so that what’s left is rational action.
Then, in your normal, non-maddened state—respond.
Remember, step 1 to solving any problem is: don’t make things worse than they need to be.
And acting in anger—in madness—almost always trashes step 1.
“When in trouble, just let go. Go back to idle.”
Delia Owens, Where The Crawdads Sing (Page 41)
When you get yourself in trouble, it implies you’ve crossed a line; broken a rule; done harm.
Which further implies that there were faults in your mindset that led to faulty actions.
When the momentum of those decisions causes you to cross a line, break a rule, or do harm—the worse thing you can do is maintain that momentum.
Stop. Let go. Go back to idle.
Carefully inspect your thought process. Sit. Breathe. Adjust. Choose new actions; better actions.
Then, and only then, should you start again.
“I believe in you.” Is the water to the planted seed.
Disbelief, in all its forms, is the desert heat that stunts the seed’s growth.
People tend to perform in proportion to how much (or how little) people believe in them.
Their seeds are there, maybe all they need is some watering—from you.