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Tag: Martial Arts Inspired

On Doing “Good”

Published on August 11, 2023

One of my martial arts students pulled me aside the other day, with an upcoming tournament on his mind, and told me his main motivation to compete comes from the idea of inspiring his son—who also trains martial arts.

He told me he wanted his son to see him do “good” so that he’d be inspired to do good, too.

I asked him what doing “good” meant to him.

He said, “winning.”

I asked him if winning was what was most important to him when it came to his son’s performance… because I could put him with a group of white belts if that’s what he wanted (he’s a red belt).

He thought about it for a minute and said, “No.”

He then described how he would want his son to show courage, have fun, try his best, demonstrate good sportsmanship, and use the experiences from the tournament as fuel for his future training.

I told him that if that’s what he wanted his son to prioritize… the best thing he can do is prioritize those same things, too.

P.s. If you’d like to read along, I’m going to start uploading quotes from Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty to MoveMe Quotes in the upcoming weeks.

Why Not Now?

Published on August 10, 2023

I have a 41 year old martial arts student who signed up to do her first ever martial arts tournament this Saturday who also, get this, has never done a performance of any kind… ever… in her life.

Not for theater, not for music, not for school… has never performed in front of people.

And this weekend, she’s rewriting that part of her story.

…This is your reminder that it’s never too late to rewrite a part of your story, too.

P.s. I also published: Replacing Human With Digital Interactions—A Short Story About Connection

Life Knows

Published on August 6, 2023

Today, I tested one of my 8 year-old martial arts students for his green belt.

At the end of each belt test, it’s customary to challenge the students’ spirit by having them do a series of hard exercises.

Today, before the start of the spirit test, I asked him, “What would you rather do: push-ups or sit-ups?”

He said, “Push-ups.”

So, I had him to do max sit-ups instead.

…If we always had things go the way we wanted them to, how would we ever build spirit?

Indomitable spirit is built precisely by doing things that are the kind of hard that we wouldn’t have picked if we had the choice. Because if we had the choice, we’d always pick the hard that was the easiest. And while the “easier” hard is better than no hard, it’s the “hard” hard that trains spirit to be indomitable.

…And I think this is something that life knows, too.

P.s. I finished uploading quotes from The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. You can read my favorite 55 quotes here.

Body Posture and Voice Tonality

Published on June 16, 2023

I frequently visit schools and speak to students about how martial arts can help in life.

And while one of my goals is to spark an interest in them that might lead to continued, long-term training, part of me knows that the one visit might be the only time I’ll ever get to speak with them. And so I challenge myself to give them something that’ll stick even after one, 30-minute session.

While this often changes depending on the group of students I’m working with and what I see—what I often find myself choosing for the focused takeaway is body posture and voice tonality.

I’ll tell them when they stand, walk, or sit—to do so with their back straight, chin up, and eyes straight ahead. When they speak, to look in the eyes and use a loud, clear voice.

Contrary to what most students think, what formulates our judgements of our peers has very little to do with specific word choice—it’s not about the jokes, knowledge, or witty remarks.

The sweeping majority has to do with body language and tone of voice. And one of the best ways I know to get people to demonstrably hold themselves in high(er) regard—which demonstrates belief in their own worth, potential, and right to be treated with dignity and respect—is by making these select few adjustments.

If you’re reading this and you tend to walk with your back hunched, eyes down, and speak with a soft and quiet voice… maybe you can practice making this select adjustment as well.

Make it a habit and you might be surprised at how different you feel in just a few days time.

My Goal as a Martial Arts Instructor

Published on May 17, 2023

As a martial arts instructor, my top goal is to help students improve their martial arts.

…Duh, you might be thinking.

But, what most students want to do when they’re eager, self-conscious, and ego-driven (which is how most students start) is the opposite of what’s going to make them great at martial arts.

When you’re eager to learn, you want to go faster—but, your body isn’t properly coordinated yet to go faster. New students must do the opposite and go slow. Because as the saying goes: slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

When you’re self-conscious, you’re not training for you—you’re training with others in mind. You’re either trying to better fit in or better stand out. Because of this, your martial arts is secondary to social cues. It isn’t until you’ve properly integrated with the group and can focus more exclusively on yourself that you’ll begin to truly improve.

When you’re ego-driven, you do everything you can to look and do things that’ll get praised, admired, shouted-out. Which often translates to kicking higher, but with worse technique. Or striking faster, with more poorly coordinated strikes. Or training longer, when fatigue is increasingly affecting the correctness of the moves.

Which is why, as a martial arts instructor my strategy to accomplish the goal is usually threefold: (1) To get students to go slower, (2) To make students feel welcomed and comfortable in the group as quickly as possible, and (3) To disproportionately praise, admire, and shout-out character-based behaviors versus talent-based ones.

It’s important to remember, as leaders/teachers, that content isn’t the end-all, be-all. Delivery—how that content is packaged and sent—matters just as much.

Modeling The Way

Published on May 13, 2023

While I was sitting in my office the other day, a parent knocked at my door and asked if I had a minute to chat.

I replied, “Of course” and invited him in.

He took a seat, tilted up his hat, rubbed his head, and with a somewhat heavy face said, “My son is having a hard time finding motivation to come to Martial Arts class…”

Having had this conversation countless times before, I started downloading potential replies from my brain on the benefits of persevering, how discipline is built, habit formation, befriending momentum, being creative in approach, etc.

And just as I was finishing my thought process, he continued by saying something I can’t remember hearing another parent say (in this order) in all my 20+ years of teaching martial arts…

He said, “…So I think I’m gonna sign up myself.”

Somewhat dumbfounded, I sat there for an awkward minute, trashed the previously downloaded files and started writing fresh script in real time on how… damn impressive hearing that was.

What usually follows from the parent after that initial comment are excuses, justifications, additional challenges, membership questions, and/or requests to pause/cancel.

But, to hear a parent say: so I’m going to lead the way and show him how to persevere through my example… was incredibly refreshing and an example I think we all—not just his son—can learn from.

More Important Than Winning

Published on April 29, 2023

What’s more important than winning?

  • Honor (cheating to win isn’t a win).
  • Learning (winning and not learning isn’t a win).
  • Respect (rubbing a win in somebody’s face isn’t a win).
  • Grace (If a win doesn’t make you more grateful, more humble, more giving, more kind, more elegant etc.—it isn’t a win).
  • Connection (none of us wins alone—every win is a team effort in some way. Winning without a deepened connection to those who helped us win, isn’t a win).

I have seen many competitors get 1st place who definitely did not win.

And I have seen many competitors get last place who, in every respect, most certainly won.

Be careful how you define winning and success in life—it’ll end up defining your identity and journey in life.