Tag: Martial Arts Inspired

Gifting Your Presence

Published on March 9, 2024

Today, I caught one of my martial arts kids praising and saying hello/goodbye to other kids by name, completely unprompted.

“Hi, Ben!”

“Arm Shake?”

“Great job today, Alkalifah!”

“High 5!”

“See you later, Jackson.”

While this doesn’t sound like anything profound, what I usually see are kids completely consumed in their own worlds. Playing on screens, fixing their clothes, playing with toys, asking parents for money, picking out things they want in the pro-shop, etc.

…Which, if I’m being honest, is what I see from many (most) adults, too.

For a student to come in so present minded, and to have such an outward attention to the people in his environment, and to take the time to acknowledge them by name and say nice things is nothing short of profound if you ask me.

And if that’s something more of us adults could do, too, I’d say that’d be a pretty remarkable thing worth aiming for and celebrating as well.

Bald for Black Belt

Published on February 29, 2024

Traditionally, in the martial arts organization I work in, students were required to shave their heads for their black belt or higher degree test.

The reason was that it demonstrated humility (that you are more than your hair) and created a military-like camaraderie between candidates.

Over the years, however, due to some candidates’ religious beliefs and otherwise strong-standing beliefs about their hair—we’ve made it optional. And have since been exploring alternative means we can offer that can build a candidate’s humility all the same. Things like no make-up or jewelry for a month, no brand name clothes for a month, no social media for a month, etc.

Not only is it good to offer alternative options for those who can’t or won’t shave their heads… but it brings into conversation those who style their hair shaved all of the time anyway… the ones who get no humility benefit from the practice at all. Furthermore, girls were never made to follow this requirement and it allows them to have alternative options for humility practice, too.

…If the purpose is humility and camaraderie… then it’s something everybody should have to (get to) do with equal sacrifice. It shouldn’t be something that a few of the boys with longer hair have to do that the girls and other boys with short hair don’t have to do at all.

…Where’s the humility and camaraderie in that?

Once you understand the purpose behind the tradition… you can reverse engineer your way to more innovative means for accomplishing the same (or better) ends. It’s as the saying goes in our martial arts space: respect tradition; embrace innovation.

What To Say To Those In The Storm

Published on February 20, 2024

A student of mine broke her ankle doing a jumping kick in my martial arts class last night.

…And this was literally a few weeks after she just got her boot off from having broken that same ankle just a few months ago.

Another student has been trying to come back from a similar broken bone situation… but keeps getting slammed with various colds and sicknesses.

…And, to her dismay, has only been able to attend a handful of classes over the course of two months.

Another student came up to me last night and told me some heartbreaking news that… on top of the surgery she might have to get on her hip… and on top of the sicknesses that keep coming up in her family… her mom got diagnosed with cancer.

Life, like mother nature herself, has seasons.

Sometimes its sunny and seventy; and sometimes it’s hella cloudy and rainy.

…And sometimes, as the expression goes, it doesn’t just rain—it pours.

It’s hard to know what to say in these situations because there aren’t any words that’ll keep a person dry when it’s pouring rain and they’re already wet.

…But, maybe if you can let them know you’ll be there with them as the pouring rain comes down, and that there’s an umbrella you can share, and that you’ll be a source of warmth for them as the cold, heavy drops carry more and more of their warmth away and into the ground…

…Maybe you can make the storm suck a little less and help them see their way to the other side.

Plain Fun

Published on February 14, 2024

Yesterday, I hosted a martial arts class where members could train with non-member loved ones as a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a unique, experiential kind of way.

My goal was to facilitate a type of class that was all partner themed, game-based, and contact oriented, that felt relaxed and above all… was just plain fun.

And the response from the members after the class was overwhelmingly positive with an almost unanimous request to have more “plain fun” classes just like it.

And it was a pleasant reminder that while adults on the surface often present as serious…

…They’re really just kids inside grown-up bodies who came to adopt seriousness as a way to interact with the world—maybe because it’s what they were taught, what they intuited, or what was required—when really… adults, like kids, just want to have fun.

P.s. The next book I’ll be uploading quotes from is Self-Renewal by John W. Gardner. You can pick up a copy and read along here.

Challenge Old Beliefs

Published on December 20, 2023

When teaching push-ups, after proper form is discussed, the next big criteria I lay out for students is full range of motion.

If we want to fully develop the muscles being worked, we need to take those muscles through their full range of motion.

With this in mind, for those who aren’t able to do push-ups off their knees, I encourage them to put their knees down, keep their back as flat as they can, and do reps as fully as they’re able. Better that than 20% down, 20% uppers.

By doing this, they meet themselves where they are, will build quality strength through persistence, and can increase reps as they go—eventually working their way to off-the-knee push-ups when ready.

During a recent physical exam, while watching my students doing push-ups, a guest instructor made a comment I liked.

He said, “I understand many of you need to do push-ups on your knees, but try at least the first one off your knees.”

And the point he went on to explain was that many times we pigeon-hole ourselves into a certain way of doing things, with old limits in mind, and—whether consciously or unconsciously—mostly stay within those previously defined constraints.

By doing the first one(s) off our knees and at least giving ourselves a quality eccentric contraction as we slowly lower ourselves to the ground, not only do we expose our muscles to the weight of our eventual goal, but we—whether consciously or unconsciously—remind ourselves that we’re capable of doing more than we previously might’ve decided.

…Because we are.

P.s. Need help building habits that stick? My guide will help (and it’s on sale).

Opportunistic Moments

Published on December 10, 2023

Today, I was responsible for leading a group of 75 Martial Artists through one of the biggest days of their lives—their Black Belt and higher degree test.

And one thing I’ve learned about approaching big days—both as a leader and performer—is to not think of them as such. But rather to think about them in terms of opportunistic moments instead.

The weight of “big days” can not only stifle you, but steal you away from the very moments you’d most want to remember that are, by definition, housed inside big days. It’ll have you thinking about what’s next, what’s later, what can’t be forgotten, what just happened, what went wrong, and what could’ve been better. Leaving you, mentally, everywhere except where you are.

Bring yourself back by asking yourself questions like: what do I have the opportunity to do right now?

…Is this a moment where I get to show grit, intensity, and spirit? Or is this a moment where I get to rest, recharge, and rehearse?

…Is this a moment where I get to perform in the spotlight? Or is this a moment where I get to cheer for the ones who are?

…Is this a moment to conserve energy and go half-way? Or is this a moment where I get to go all in and really test your limits?

Get better at living inside moments—both on “big days” and normal ones—and suddenly, your days won’t feel so heavy and intimidating. And you might just find yourself feeling lighter, more present, and ultimately… more alive.

Growth via Messing Around

Published on November 1, 2023

This morning, Facebook memories resurfaced an old video of me performing a bo (staff) combo in casual clothes after a casual training session that blew me away.

It was so creatively different than so much of what’s being performed in the martial arts school I teach at these days.

And what’s interesting about this clip is that even though it was 4 years ago, I distinctly remember this particular training session.

A couple martial arts students asked if I wanted to have a Sunday session, I agreed, we went to the school, blasted good music, and just messed around and fed off each other’s energy for several hours.

…We started by training what we knew.

…We continued by doing variations of what we knew—oftentimes either hating or hurting ourselves with the results (I’ve whacked my hands and head with my bo more times than you’ve probably ever touched a bo).

…We were oftentimes inspired by the variations done by our training comrades.

And we ended up with a few interesting ideas that we then chained back together with what we knew coming into the session… which left us with an upgraded skillset that prompted the above video and this share.

This is how growth works.

A willingness to try. A chunk of undisrupted time. And the ability to keep trying in spite of the hate and hurt.

…Bonus points, of course, if you have a good playlist and aligned company.

P.s. Day 3: I was able to personally thank a gentlemen who occasionally texts out an uplifting thought in the mornings to a group of aligned and opted-in friends.