Tag: Martial Arts Inspired

You Should Thank Your Perfectionism

Published on September 20, 2025

A martial arts student of mine tested for her new belt the other night.

She made some mistakes and blamed her perfectionism for it. She said she was “too much in her head” and the obsessing over the details messed up her flow and ability to perform.

What I told her is that perfectionism is as much a strength as it is a weakness—like most things in life. And it isn’t something that should be blamed, but something she should seek to better understand.

See perfectionism is really just a close attention to detail and a desire to get things right. This is an excellent virtue to have. Heck, without details, martial arts would stop being an art and would become arbitrary movement. And without a desire to get things right, what the heck are we even doing?

Where perfectionism goes wrong is when we expect ourselves to be perfect… and react to mistakes in destructive, unhealthy, or unproductive ways. What we have to understand is that to be human is to be imperfect—it is wired into our very nature.

And rather than blaming perfectionism for our mistakes… we should thank our perfectionism for making us care about the details… and use it as fuel to get back to our training in an even more deliberate, healthy, and productive way.

This is what she was missing.

See it wasn’t the perfectionism… it was the expectations and lack of practice. Get those two things right and suddenly perfectionism becomes the best thing to ever happened to you.

…I know it feels that way to me.

An Impressive Response To Losing

Published on July 20, 2025

I took a martial arts class from a former UFC fighter yesterday and he said something I loved.

He described to the class a time when he competed against an incredible Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitor and lost.

And rather than talk trash… or print the guy’s picture out and place it on his treadmill… or even sulk in his loss and beat himself up over it… guess what he did?

…He invited the guy to his school to teach a seminar and then took a private lesson with him after.

I knew very little about this guy before I took his class, but I can tell you what… I have a pretty good idea of why he’s successful after just that one story.

The “Green Monkey” Strategy

Published on July 16, 2025

An 8 year old martial arts student of mine was having a breakdown in the lobby today.

When he finally opened up to me, he said he was having a “really bad day” and his mom was forcing him to take the class in spite of it.

After thinking about it for a minute I asked him, “Do you know why mom is trying to force you to take class today?”

And after a few moments of contemplative silence I told him, “It’s because of green monkey.”

You can imagine the facial expressions that followed—which was partially my goal.

But, it lead to a very important point.

I told him that our minds are awful at negating thoughts. Meaning, if we tell ourselves not to think about our “really bad day”—all we’re going to think about is our really bad day. Just like if I told you not to think about a pink elephant—you can’t help but think of one.

What I suggested was mom wasn’t trying to make him miserable… mom was simply trying to give him a “green monkey” for his mind to focus on for a while—so that he didn’t have to dwell on his really bad day any longer.

By attending martial arts class and moving his body, pointing his mind at specific techniques, and connecting with other students and instructors—he would undoubtedly feel better. Certainly more so than continued dwelling would make him feel.

And guess what…?

He said it made sense… went to class… and left class jump kicking with a smile on his face.

Never underestimate the power of the “green monkey” strategy in your life.

“MEDITATE!”

Published on July 14, 2025

A student in the martial arts school I teach at was having a complete meltdown in the lobby the other day.

I was in an office doing paperwork when I heard, “Let me GO!” “Let ME GO!!” LET ME GO!!!”

What was happening was this child’s mom had to leave him at the school with his uncle because she had an appointment—and he did NOT want her to go.

I gathered both the student and the uncle into my office so the mom could leave.

Once there, the uncle—who was very compassionate and well-intentioned—was matching the child’s temper-tantrum with flustered, emotional energy as he offered suggestions for calming down: “It’s going to be okay!” “You’ll see MOM LATER!!” “TRY YOUR MEDITATION!!”

Seeing that this was only feeding the tantrum, I asked the uncle to leave so I could work with him individually.

Once gone, all I did was sit in front of the door (so he couldn’t chase mom into the parking lot), legs crossed in half-lotus, and… meditated.

Here’s what happened:

His temper-tantrum slowly burned out.
He sat quietly in his chair with his upset face on for a while.
And after about 20 minutes, asked me, “…Now what?”

And I said, now we get you some water, walk you into class to either watch or participate, and you go home to see mom so y’all can hear about each other’s days.

And that’s exactly what happened.

See, the uncle was right—meditation was a fantastic idea (especially if it was something I intuited they had done/been working on).

All I did was model meditation instead of insisting he “MEDITATE!” while in a flustered state.

Brisk Walk Black Belt

Published on June 8, 2025

Today, the Martial arts school I teach at hosted a black belt and higher degree test.

At the end of the test, one of the spectators said, “that wasn’t as hard as I remember them being… “

And what I said to them in response was, “they’re only ever as hard as the candidate makes them…. “

Martial arts tests are very much like sprints… If you engage with the test at a pace that’s equivalent to a brisk walk or light jog… of course it’s not gonna be as hard as it could be…

But, if you engage with the test at a pace that’s equivalent of a sprint and you put your whole life force into each and every move… How could it not be one of the hardest things you’ve had to do?

I’ll tell you one thing… The people who put their whole life force into the belt test put on a very different black belt/higher degree than those who give their brisk walk effort.

…And the same is true with how we engage with life.

Life’s Spirit Test

Published on June 2, 2025

One of the masters in the martial arts school I teach at has had a very challenging month.

It started off with kidney stones.

Continued with a neuroma in his foot.

And was topped off with a bicep tendon tear that separated from the attachment joint.

After sitting on the masters panel to evaluate the black belt pre-test, he was chatting with another student and I about how he just couldn’t seem to catch a break and how it felt like it was just one challenge after the next.

I looked at him and said, “That’s what those spirit tests are really for, aren’t they…?”

“Not just to prove your grit and ability to persevere when you’re healthy and in black belt testing shape…” I continued.

“But to prepare you for life… the ultimate spirit testing grounds.”

Because the thing about spirit is that the deeper it’s developed… the more of it you’ll have ready whenever it’s needed. Whether it’s needed on the mat, at home, or for your health. Spirit is spirit is spirit.

And having a deep pocket of spirit to pull from—that you’ve developed from years of training when you were healthy and didn’t need it—is about as close to a cheat code to overcoming the spirit test of life as one can get.

Spirit > Talent

Published on June 1, 2025

There was a black belt pre test at the martial arts school I teach at this past Friday.

There are no superfluous performances at this test—no weapons, no board breaking, no elaborately choreographed self-defense or fight scenes—just pure traditional martial arts requirements and spirit testing.

The goal is to have a guest panel of Master Instructors—who haven’t been involved in the candidate preparation process—oversee the test and objectively determine if the students reach the standards of our Association.

And for about an hour and a half to two hours… they get tested.

Towards the end of the test… once they’re physically and mentally fatigued and have already been asked to give 100% of what they have on each of the required areas… they’re asked to do it all again during a final spirit test. And it’s in these final minutes that the entire test can be made or broken.

Because what we’re trying to test isn’t body coordination… and it isn’t even athleticism… although both of those areas matter… it’s spirit.

Because with indomitable spirit… athleticism can be built… the body can be further coordinated… the manner in which they’re going to hold themselves—even when they’re not wearing their uniform or rank—will be honored.

But, athleticism or talented coordination without spirit? …It’s putting the cart before the horse.

Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with having a talented and maybe lazy student… it’s simply a reminder to not put their talent ahead of their lazy. Because lazy is the horse… and talent is the cart.