Tag: Analogies

Instant gratification is choosing pleasure now.

Delayed gratification is resisting pleasure now for (or in hope of) a more rewarding pleasure later.

The kind of pleasure we feel with instant gratification is not the same kind of pleasure that we feel with delayed gratification.

One is a superficial, fleeting feeling of pleasure—the other is a deep, lingering feeling of pleasure. Some examples:

• Eating ice cream now will give you pleasure while you’re eating. Resisting the ice cream now gives you the pleasure of feeling healthy for much longer thereafter.
• Sitting on the couch now will give you pleasure while you’re sitting. Resisting the couch to partake in a workout gives you the pleasure of feeling strong for much longer thereafter.
• Buying the luxury item now gives you the pleasure while it’s admired. Resisting the luxury item purchase to invest your money gives you the longer-term pleasure of financial security.

That said, it would follow that we should delay gratification as much as possible in our lives.

And I would agree.

The more we delay gratification, the more of that deep, lingering feeling of pleasure—what I consider joy—we’ll have. However, the conversation doesn’t stop there.

I also don’t think we should always delay gratification.

If happiness is a recipe, and instant gratification are the sweet ingredients and delayed gratification are the bitter ones, we need to masterfully combine the two for healthy AND delicious meals.

Too much sweet and we’ll be eating pixie sticks all day (and feel awful).

Too much bitter and we’ll be eating spinach all day (and become bored).

We need to learn how to masterfully combine both for healthy, great-tasting meals.

I think happiness is a recipe.

One that is unique to each individual person.

Wait for the ingredients to cook themselves and you’ll be waiting an awful long-time.

Rush the cooking process and you’ll burn, contort, abuse, and otherwise mess up the meal.

There’s an art to cooking just like there’s an art to happiness.

And just like a chef would bring a level of presence and care to the kitchen when prepping meals, you too need to bring that same kind of energy to the preparation of your happiness in life.

One of my personal favorite recipes for happiness is:

• 8 cups (hours) of sleep
• 6 cups of teaching
• 2 cups of writing
• 2 cups of connecting
• 1 cup of exercise
• 1 cup of reading
• .5 cups of meditation

With 3.5 cups of space left (in the day) to work with.

Mixed altogether and served with some sprinkles of spontaneity on top.

And it’s a formula that I loosely follow each day.

What you have to figure out for yourself is, what does your recipe consist of?

And are you preparing your batch of happiness fresh every day? Or are you trying to eat from stale batches of happiness that was prepared long ago?

Are you waiting for the ingredients to combine themselves? Are you rushing as you prepare your meals? Or are you taking your time and approaching your craft like a chef would?

Of all the recipes you have memorized in your life, this might be one of the most important to not only memorize—but to internalize.