Skip to content

Tag: Analogies

Follow The Pain

Published on June 14, 2022

Confidence comes from the pain.

  • The pain of trial
  • The pain of error
  • The pain of persistence

Until eventually, the pain results in a success.

This success shouldn’t mark an end (to pain), but rather a new beginning.

For hiding from pain is the path towards atrophy—the antithesis of success.

Confronting the pain is the path towards hypertrophy—the best friend of success.

And as it is with exercise, working your muscles to hypertrophy once (one success) will have little long-term benefit.

It’s the repeated exposure to the pain (of exercise) that leads to the noteworthy gains in muscular size and ability.

And if you want to increase the “size” and “ability” of your life, you have to treat your confidence “muscles” the same.

…And follow the pain.

Breathing Space For Your Face

Published on June 7, 2022

We all wear masks.

…It isn’t a bad strategy.

  • We smile at strangers—even when we’re sad.
  • We cheer for good news—even when we’re envious.
  • We share life highlights—and play mum about our life low points.

It’s when we don’t take our masks off that the strategy turns bad.

  • If we never confront that sadness—we’ll multiply its effects.
  • If we never confront that envy—we’ll only perpetuate it forward.
  • If we never talk about our low points—we’ll only force the pain deeper through suppression.

We need to give our “face” space to breathe.

  • When we’re feeling sad, we need to have an outlet—mine is silent meditation.
  • When we’re feeling envious, we need to have an outlet—mine is introspective writing.
  • When we’re feeling overwhelmed by our lows, we need to have an outlet—mine is conversation with people I trust.

My question for you is: are you giving your face enough space to breathe?

Instant vs. Delayed Gratification

Published on June 7, 2022

Instant gratification is choosing pleasure now.

Delayed gratification is resisting pleasure now for (or in hope of) a more rewarding pleasure later.

The kind of pleasure we feel with instant gratification is not the same kind of pleasure that we feel with delayed gratification.

One is a superficial, fleeting feeling of pleasure—the other is a deep, lingering feeling of pleasure. Some examples:

  • Eating ice cream now will give you pleasure while you’re eating. Resisting the ice cream now gives you the pleasure of feeling healthy for much longer thereafter.
  • Sitting on the couch now will give you pleasure while you’re sitting. Resisting the couch to partake in a workout gives you the pleasure of feeling strong for much longer thereafter.
  • Buying the luxury item now gives you the pleasure while it’s admired. Resisting the luxury item purchase to invest your money gives you the longer-term pleasure of financial security.

That said, it would follow that we should delay gratification as much as possible in our lives.

And I would agree.

The more we delay gratification, the more of that deep, lingering feeling of pleasure—what I consider joy—we’ll have. However, the conversation doesn’t stop there.

I also don’t think we should always delay gratification.

If happiness is a recipe, and instant gratification are the sweet ingredients and delayed gratification are the bitter ones, we need to masterfully combine the two for healthy AND delicious meals.

Too much sweet and we’ll be eating pixie sticks all day (and feel awful).

Too much bitter and we’ll be eating spinach all day (and become bored).

We need to learn how to masterfully combine both for healthy, great-tasting meals.

A Recipe For Happiness

Published on June 1, 2022

I think happiness is a recipe.

One that is unique to each individual person.

Wait for the ingredients to cook themselves and you’ll be waiting an awful long-time.

Rush the cooking process and you’ll burn, contort, abuse, and otherwise mess up the meal.

There’s an art to cooking just like there’s an art to happiness.

And just like a chef would bring a level of presence and care to the kitchen when prepping meals, you too need to bring that same kind of energy to the preparation of your happiness in life.

One of my personal favorite recipes for happiness is:

  • 8 cups (hours) of sleep
  • 6 cups of teaching
  • 2 cups of writing
  • 2 cups of connecting
  • 1 cup of exercise
  • 1 cup of reading
  • .5 cups of meditation

With 3.5 cups of space left (in the day) to work with.

Mixed altogether and served with some sprinkles of spontaneity on top.

And it’s a formula that I loosely follow each day.

What you have to figure out for yourself is, what does your recipe consist of?

And are you preparing your batch of happiness fresh every day? Or are you trying to eat from stale batches of happiness that was prepared long ago?

Are you waiting for the ingredients to combine themselves? Are you rushing as you prepare your meals? Or are you taking your time and approaching your craft like a chef would?

Of all the recipes you have memorized in your life, this might be one of the most important to not only memorize—but to internalize.

The Ultimate Life Compass

Published on May 31, 2022

Wisdom is knowledge and experience internalized.

…It is the ultimate life compass.

When you think about each of the regretful decisions and cringe-worthy mistakes you’ve made in your life, at their root, they were made because of a lack of wisdom.

With that in mind, it’s important to point out that the less you seek to develop wisdom in your life, the less calibrated your compass will be.

And if there’s one area you should always make time for in your life, it’s the calibrating of your life’s compass.

How to do that? Through careful and deliberate reflection, exploratory writing, and open conversation.

And saying you don’t have time is the same as the lumberjack saying he doesn’t have time to sharpen his ax. When you make time for wisdom, wisdom will make time for you.

The rewards are exponential. Both in time saved and better decisions enjoyed.

Flowering Reality

Published on May 27, 2022

Thinking love is not the same as expressing love.

Thinking kindness is not the same as expressing kindness.

Thinking gratitude is not the same as expressing gratitude.

When you move your most beautiful thoughts into reality, the byproduct is a more beautiful reality.

Beautiful thoughts left unexpressed are quickly buried beneath the forever churning soils of the mind and the result is a forgotten about seed and unchanged reality.

Help flower our shared reality by intentionally nurturing, harvesting, and sharing all of what’s beautiful inside of you. However and whenever you can. Our reality needs it.

Self-Made (Or Not)

Published on May 25, 2022

It’s easy to look at the current state of your life and claim it’s self-made—after the fact and when things fit together nicely.

But, none of us are self-made.

Remember each of the influences who gave you pieces to your life’s puzzle and showed you how they might fit together along the way.

You may have put piece to puzzle; but, you certainly didn’t make every single piece or do all of the thinking alone.

Honor those who helped you piece together your life and pay forward what you’ve pieced together into the lives of others.

Solving massive life puzzles is much easier when you’re not doing it alone.