Tag: Analogies

The Crux Of The Climb

The goal of rock climbing—whether indoors or out—is to reach the summit of a formation or the endpoint of a usually pre-defined route without falling. In most cases, there isn’t just one way to accomplish this. In fact, each climber usually tackles the problem in their own unique ways with various changes in grip, stance, position, weight distribution, technique, style, etc. But, what’s universal on every route is the presence of a crux.

The crux is a particular point of difficulty. It’s the “make-it-or-break-it” point on the route. It’s the point where most climbers fail. Sometimes the challenge is the technique that’s called for. Sometimes it’s the strength that’s required. Sometimes it’s the athleticism and coordination that’s needed. If one of those areas is lacking, the climber will fall—there is no skipping over the crux.

The same is true for our climbs in life. Along the various routes that we’re on—career/family/love—there are going to be crux points. Particular points of difficulty that will require more of us than the rest of the climb has and maybe will. This is where we need to particularly focus our attention, energy, and effort.

Those moments when you don’t feel like doing what you know needs to get done? Crux point. That time at the party when someone offers you a drink, but you’ve been sober for 90 days? Crux point. The days when you wake up feeling groggy and heavy and don’t want to workout even though you’ve got a streak going? Crux point.

These moments aren’t going to require an average, everyday effort. They’re going to require a person’s best effort. Some situations might call for more advanced techniques, others might ask for extra strength, and others might require more coordinated plans of attack and strategies. Those who don’t show up ready, will fall. Those who come prepared will cross and get to carry on towards their summit.

Thoughts On Handling “Heavy” Days

Do you ever get those days that just feel, heavy? That’s how the past few days have felt for me. I’m not quite sure why. Nothing obvious seems to be triggering it and I can’t seem to easily shake it. My instinct is to fight it or vilify it because it’s an undesired feeling, but maybe there’s a better way.

After thinking about it more deeply, it seems to me that vilifying an emotion is exactly what turns an emotion into a villain. After all, if it’s seen as a villain, called a villain, treated like a villain, and thrown aggressively into the darkness like a villain—how could it not become a villain? Maybe a better approach would be to allow it. To give it space. To let it move when it arrives. To give it the light of consciousness rather than the darkness of ignorance. To treat it with compassion.

Think about it. What happens when you choose to fight a passing by emotion? It’s precisely what causes it to stop in its tracks, put up its guard, and throw down against you and your will.

And it’s not like there are any “emotional police” who can come to break up the fight. It’s a battle to knockout or submission. And if one beats the other, then what? Hand shakes, inner peace, and lightness? I’d argue that the more likely outcome is resentment, begrudging, and spiraled darkness. And so the recurring battle against “heaviness” is born.

I believe that fighting an emotion—any emotion—will only negatively magnify it. Allowing an emotion to move is how it passes. Maybe this is why the “light” days seem to pass so quickly? You give them the space, path, light, and compassion to move comfortably forward and with ease—and so they do. Maybe that’s exactly what we need to do for our “heavy” days, too?

The Paradox Of Personal Change

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Carl Rogers, Via MoveMe Quotes

Putting on a mask doesn’t change who you are. It may change your outward appearance, but underneath—there you are. Wearing a mask might make you feel different and therefore may entice you to act different, but, when the mask comes off—so, too, does the behavior. They are intertwined. If they weren’t, then why wear the mask?

Social media is the modern-day digital mask. It allows you to change your outward appearance at scale. From the comfort of your home, you can filter how you look, prop up a facade to change the way you live, and surround yourself with people pumped up on vanity metrics. But, after you’re done thumbing through your phone and the screen turns off—there you are. No different than you were before you turned the phone on.

When you accept yourself just as you are, what you’re really doing is accepting your current situation and limitations—as they are. You’re not trying to pretend you’re somebody you’re not, who is living a lifestyle you actually aren’t, who is doing things you, in fact, are not. You’re admitting to yourself your real identity, what you’re actually capable of, and what your current situation will realistically allow you to do.

And there you are. And finally, the real change can begin.

On Feeling ALL Of Your Feelings

“Feel all of your feelings but don’t assume to know what they mean. Allow the truth of each feeling to be revealed to you.”
Maryam Hasnaa, via MoveMe Quotes

Within each of us is an entire community of emotions. We are never composed of just one emotion. Our inner community is made up of happy emotions and sad emotions; excited emotions and anxious emotions; hopeful emotions and fearful emotions; loving emotions and hateful emotions; and so forth. And how we treat each of these emotions—each community member—will determine our overall spirit.

By expanding our inner workings from just “how we generally feel” to a community of individual members with different needs, we can start to honor each of our inner members with the attention, energy, and respect they deserve. The tendency, when focusing just on “overall feeling,” is to honor the feelings of happiness, joy, pleasure—and to suppress and vilify the feelings of sadness, upset, and hurt.

But, feelings of sadness, upset, and hurt don’t just come from nothing—they’re sourced from pain and are there to communicate crucial insights about your inner community.

When those community members are disrespected, blown off, and demonized—it makes things in your inner community worse. Eventually, as it happens in life, those community members start spewing hate, anger, and upset at other community members until—inevitably—there is an uprising. This is when breakdowns, explosions, and life-halting crisis happen. And it’s what will cause them to continue happening until the uprising has been properly dealt with and those community members have settled.

We have to look at ourselves as the presiding ruler of our inner community—because that’s what we are. We are not just one person who has one emotion at any given time. We are one person who is looking after many, many community emotions inside. And how we treat any of those emotions—community members—is as noteworthy and important as how we treat any of the others.

Care For The Big Picture By Caring For The Small Details

“When you pay attention to detail, the big picture will take care of itself.”
George St-Pierre, via MoveMe Quotes

In Martial Arts, the direction of your toes—matters. The placement of your hands—matters. The distribution of your weight—matters. Even the height of your shoulders, the tilt of your head, and the squint of your eyes—matters.

Of course, the general coordination of the move matters, too, but it’s precisely the above mentioned details—the fine motor adjustments—that puts the “Art” in “Martial.” It’s the great divide between what makes “okay” and what makes “great.”

What separates an amateur punch from a professional punch isn’t their ability to quickly extend their hand from their face to a target and back—it’s how the details were minded in the process.

As is the case with basketball dribbles, hockey slap-shots, football throws, etc.—details are what separate beginners from masters and amateurs from pros. Anybody can dribble—few dribble professionally. And the same is true in how things are done in any sport.

But, attention to detail isn’t just activity specific.

The way you do anything is how you do everything. Attention to detail is a character trait that some choose to develop.

It’s a careful awareness. It’s a trained devotion to excellence. It’s the rigorous loyalty to the minutiae. It’s a deliberate decision to improve—beyond where most people stop. It’s a drive for inches when most people park after miles. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s not for the preoccupied. It’s not for the careless.

It’s for the people who choose to be passionate, focused, and committed to paying details the attention they require—in any and every chosen task. It’s why attention is paid and not granted.

And it’s why masterpieces are so valuable—because they’ve been paid for in attention, energy, effort—details—many times over. Details that others find too expensive to pay. Details that, bring the big picture to life. Details that, when removed, would leave masterpieces as just pieces.

Understanding The “Compass” Of Your Life

“None of us can adequately control the meteorology of other people: they’re nice, they’re nasty, they come, they go. We have no choice but to address, alter and amend the inner coordinate if we want to have a different model of reality, if we want to have more choices.”
Russell Brand, via MoveMe Quotes

We all have an internal compass. A guiding needle that points each of us uniquely forward towards our “magnetic north”: our best self; our best life; our best path forward given our circumstances. A needle that’s made up of our values, morals, principles, character, and experiences.

But, like when a strong enough magnet comes near, our inner coordinate can mistakingly lock on to another person’s coordinate and can cause our needle to turn in the wrong direction—towards someone else’s magnetic north rather than our own.

Objectively speaking, when all emotions and attractions are taken out of the picture, I think we all are in tune with the direction of our inner compass. We know what we have to do to become our best selves, lead our best lives, and what next steps we need to take to keep moving forward. But, we’re not objective.

We’re deeply emotional, easily distracted, and weak against attraction. And when the magnetic pull of another person draws us in, we succumb to the model of reality as they see it and lose control over the direction of our own lives.

But, to be fair, this isn’t something that’s always immediately obvious to us. Like when you’re following your compass and something “kind of” doesn’t feel right, but you tell yourself you’re just being paranoid.

Until, eventually, you realize that the needle has, indeed, been off the whole time because of a magnetic disturbance. It’s a slow realization.

A realization that usually starts in your gut. And if you feel that something is (or might be) off in your gut, that instinct should be honored and investigated. Because what you might find is that what’s making you feel “off” isn’t something arbitrary or random, but rather an undetected attraction in a direction that’s actually just off from your magnetic north.