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Tag: Analogies

Feelings > Possessions

Published on September 20, 2021

Why do people really want the possessions they do?

I can tell you straight away it isn’t because of the possessions themselves.

In fact, in most cases, what people really want is to feel a certain kind of way.

And getting that possession, in their mind, is how they feel it.

People want to feel impressive so they buy the new iPhone.

People want to feel cool so they buy the Gucci slides.

People want to feel admired so they buy the BMW.

The problem, of course, with buying things in order to acquire feelings is two fold:

  • One, what’s impressive/cool/admired today, won’t be tomorrow. You’ll be stuck in a never ending loop of always needing to upgrade in order to keep reaching forever fleeting feelings.
  • Two, the people who make you feel impressive/cool/admired because of possessions and not innate characteristics, won’t be there tomorrow either. They will be just as fleeting as the possessions themselves.

That’s why, the real game isn’t about acquiring the most expensive possessions.

The real game is about learning how to acquire the feelings in spite of the expensive possessions.

Because while band-aids have their role, they should never be prioritized over the main goal: healing—so that band-aids are no longer needed at all.

Ignoring Conflict Doesn’t Lead To Peace

Published on September 19, 2021

Here’s a thought: want to cultivate inner peace? Stop avoiding inner conflict.

What happens when a fight breaks out and nobody does anything about it? It continues.

And in many cases: it escalates.

It takes the brave bystander to step in before things start to settle; the courageous cop to heave themselves into the middle of a barrage of fists; the over-worked and under-rested parent to draw the line and invoke discipline before the family feuds finally dissipate.

It’s the willingness to confront conflict that leads to peace.

Not the willingness to peacefully ignore conflict in hope that it resolves itself.

Love In A Box

Published on September 17, 2021

Most people try to harness their love and put it into a box so that they can give it to one specific person.

But love is not something that is put into a box. Nor is it something that’s given to only one specific person.

In fact, I would argue that a person who manipulates their expression of love from one person to the next, isn’t actually expressing love—they’re playing a game.

Like when the person you’re out to dinner with acts like the living embodiment of love to you, but then acts like the opposite to the waiter.

Hardly love if you ask me.

Love is something that overflows from the top of any of your boxes and touches all those with whom you connect with.

Love is patient; love is kind; and love radiates synonymously from one person to the next.

Love is not impatient; love is not rude; and love is not something that points only to certain people.

Which begs the question: what about intimate love?

When somebody else’s love touches you in a way that increases your expression of love (and so does yours for them) then you both may decide to intimately explore the merging of love.

And the difference becomes not the type of love you express (it’s still the same that you’d express to others), but the amount you can express when it has synergistically merged.

Which is why, when “true love” is found, you can’t help but overflow because the result is greater than the sum of the individual love—more than you could ever fit within some box.

Living In Imaginary Prison

Published on September 15, 2021

Living your truth will set you free.

Living a lie will confine you into a cell of your own making.

Freedom is saying what you think and how you feel, as who you are.

Captivity is saying what you think others want to hear, based on how they feel, so that you can be who they think you are.

Don’t you see? The entire thinking process is under arrest by the anarchical judgements of others.

But, here, in this prison, there are no iron bars. There are no orange jumpsuits. There are no keys or guards.

This cell, the one you might find yourself in when you live a lie, is imaginary.

Whatever guards, keys, jumpsuits, and iron bars you feel incarcerated by, have been (and can only ever be) sentenced by you.

And so is the case for your sentence to freedom—it’s all decided within the confines of your mind.

So, how do you free yourself?

  1. Share your truth—with those closest to you, first. This is the key that will unlock your cell.
  2. Embody your truth—start to carry your truth with you into the outer areas of connection in your life. This is you walking out of jail and adjusting back to the “real world.”
  3. Live your truth—Continue to embody your truth until your truth (finally) becomes you.

The Foundation Of All That Is Good

Published on September 5, 2021

Love is the foundation of all that is good.

  • Relationships? Obviously. So long as love is continuously renewed, the relationship will remain strong. Any actions sourced from hate will crack the foundation laid from love.
  • Work projects? Absolutely. Anything created without love or with a lack of love quickly becomes apparent. The best works produced are labors of love—not of hate.
  • Society? For sure. Hate from leaders begets hate from followers. Love from leaders begets love from followers. A society run by hate will be hate-filled and chaotic. A society run by love will be love-filled and peaceful.

Regardless of whatever it is you’re trying to improve, always revert back to love.

When your foundation is set solid with actions of love, like an engineer, the sky is your limit and you’ll have nothing but time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

But, when your foundation is seething with cracks of hate, what you decide to build will only be in vain. For collapse won’t be a matter of if, but of when. And collapse it will, affecting not just you, but everyone else involved in the surrounding process as well.

If what you’re building isn’t set with a foundation of love, maybe it’s time to stop building and start repairing.

Or, maybe even start fresh with a new foundation altogether. It could very well be the move you need to make in order to move forward into new heights in your life.

Can You Balance A Stick On Your Finger?

Published on August 25, 2021

If I wanted to balance a long stick on just one finger, I would use trial and error.

I would guess and place my finger at a center point, catch it when (if) it tipped, readjust my finger, and repeat until I had it.

If you want to maintain your emotional center, following the same, simple formula might help.

First, get a gauge on which emotional direction you’re tipping. Then, identify the emotional opposite. And, like when you’re trying to balance a long stick on your finger, adjust until you find equilibrium. Some examples:

  • When you find yourself tipping towards anger, balance yourself out with good humor.
  • When you’re tipping towards frustration, balance in sources of satisfaction.
  • When you’re feeling sad and gloomy, incorporate some sources of joy and good cheer.

But, not too much of the opposite, of course, because then you’ll tip in that direction instead.

Having too much of a good thing can cause you to emotionally lose balance all the same.

As Aristotle famously suggested, shoot for the mean between extremes.

Where you’re neither overly sensitive nor senseless, but aligned, aware, and at peace.

Update And Expand

Published on August 24, 2021

Applications will only do what they’re programmed to do.

A dictionary application that’s programmed to pull up a certain word when it’s searched for—will only do that.

And so it is with your mind.

A mindset that’s programmed to pull up a certain response when it’s presented with a certain problem—will only do that.

This is why language is essential—it is literally the means through which programs are updated. Both in applications and the mind.

HTML, for example, is a language used by developers to design how web page elements (hyperlinks, text, media, etc) are displayed on a computer browser.

Imagine if the first iteration of the language—that was developed and released in 1991—was still the language we used today?

Can you remember what web pages looked like from the 1990’s?

Well guess what? That’s what your mindset looks like when you never update your thinking language either.

Sick of thinking about a problem the same way over and over? Stop using the same language to try and solve it.

Update and expand.