What might feel like “stuck” might actually be cocooning.
Take this time of stillness as a disguised opportunity to accelerate your evolution.
Eventually, “stuck” will no longer be able to hold you in place.
Become “unstuck” by outgrowing your current situation.
Understand this: we are a vessel that carries either water or gas to and from each of our daily interactions—it’s rarely anything else.
With that in mind, our mission becomes quite clear.
We must take the time needed to fill ourselves up each day until we are overflowing with “water” rather than allowing our internal chemistry to unwillingly produce and start spewing “gas.”
Then, with every “fire” we cross, we have to let what comes from inside of us dilute the harsh flames rather than further enrage their fury.
After all, do we want to be contributors to even more uncontrollable chaos in the world? Or do we want to be the facilitators of fresh air?
And to my idealist friends out there: the key isn’t to let the number of fires in the world—or their size—intimidate you to inaction.
The most grandiose plan to extinguish all fires in the world pales in comparison to the fire that’s actually put out in your own backyard.
Today, as you embark on the path of your day—be water, my friend.
And focus on the actual flames that present themselves at each step along the way.
Superficial happiness is a smiling mask that’s put over an unhappy face.
It can be quite convincing, too.
Not because people aren’t good at distinguishing masks versus faces—but because most people are wearing masks themselves.
And calling out your mask puts into question the mask they’re wearing.
…And most of us don’t want to talk about the face that’s hidden under our masks.
It’s precisely why we put masks on in the first place.
And so we carry on smiling and nodding at other people’s masks while we discreetly hide our upset and frown through our own. And that becomes a sort of accepted and forgotten about norm.
Every now and again though, we sit down with a person and they actually take their mask off.
Not to burden us. Not to complain. Not to shower sadness on our superficial happiness.
But, to share what’s real. To express something deeper than a portrayal of happiness. To give their vulnerabilities some space to breathe out from under the tight compression of plastic pressed up against their cheeks and forehead.
And what’s interesting is that the people who tend to wear their happiness masks less, and are able to share and express what’s real to them more, are often the ones who experience deeper joy as a result.
Because the byproduct of wearing a superficial mask of happiness—isn’t happiness.
Happiness is the byproduct of connecting more deeply to (and better understanding) ourselves.
Daily affirmation: “I am not building a Lego house.”
Continued: “I am building a skyscraper. I am building a towering and intricate legacy of work that deeply reflects a long-lasting and firm commitment to steel, brick, and mortar—not cheap, plastic toys.”
Repeat as needed when things get tough.
Undesired emotions left untapped, swell.
The more those undesired emotions swell, the worse they become.
With mindfulness, we can tap into that swollen reservoir and give those emotions the path they need to flow.
This path allows the body to drain those unpleasant feelings, energy-guzzling thoughts, and hazy perspectives that make the emotions so undesirable.
But, worth noting: this doesn’t make them “bad” or “negative.” For the very nature of an undesired emotion is to signal to us that something is wrong.
And knowing that something is wrong is vital for our survival as humans.
So pay your undesired emotions some mind. Give them the light of your attention. Allow them some space in your day. The longer the emotion(s) get(s) ignored—the worse that “wrong” thing will get.
Remember, once they feel heard, they will flow.
Which will allow space for the opposite type of emotion to grow.
And this is what allows for the real transformations to take place.
If we don’t give poignant emotions space to move, they collect and become static—like a lake.
This is a problem because lakes have no means of filtration. They just collect and hold—trash, toxicity, diseases, and all. This isn’t a good formula for life.
Life is movement. Death is no movement.
The problem escalates, of course, when what opens up into our lake is a sewage drain that pours in more toxicity via news, media, gossip, drama, and hate.
…And then we wonder why we can become so overwhelmingly anxious, irritable, and befuddled inside?!
The solution, then, is to become an emotional river instead.
Rather than allowing what’s emotionally swelling to be suppressed, we should find ways we can give those feelings space to move.
Space that doesn’t come from distraction (anything that pulls our attention away from our emotional awareness is a distraction), but space that comes from a place of careful inward mindfulness.
Writing, meditating, therapeutic conversations, etc—are all great examples.
And just a few minutes a day can give emotions the space they need to keep flowing through (and eventually out from) our systems.