A relationships and dating coach posted the following question on Twitter: “Would you rather: a 220 pound woman who’s nice & sweet or a 120 pound woman with an attitude?”
To which I say this is the wrong question.
Love isn’t a number on a scale. And none of us are as simple as “nice & sweet” or “with an attitude.”
Love is an impossibly complex, messy, roller coaster of a ride shared with the person who could very well be all of those above things throughout the duration of your ride.
It’s time spent with the person who makes you feel:
…Sometimes exhilaratingly light—like you’re free falling down from the highest roller coaster peak. Like when their name comes up on caller I.D., their face comes into view after time apart, or the thought of past time together springs to mind.
…Sometimes upside down—like you’re being thrown through a loop. Like when they challenge your thoughts/beliefs, pull you down a spontaneous path you would’ve never traveled on your own, or they get you to agree to something that’s totally out of character.
…Sometimes heavy and low—like at the bottom of those highest drops. Like when they have to endure tragedy/loss/grief and illicit your support to help them, or when they hurt your feelings, or break promises—because them doing it hits harder than anyone else.
…But all with that person. Not because of the number on the scale or some one or two word description that’s supposed to represent the entire depth of who they are—but, because riding the roller coaster is better with them. And they think the same about riding the coaster with you.