Most of us have two consistent spaces in our lives where we get to socialize, experiment, and express ourselves: home and either work or school.
At various times in our lives, there’s a third or fourth space that gives us a chance to further express different sides of our identity. The one that isn’t taking on the role of mother/father/brother/sister/etc or that gets to break free from the role of grade A student or model employee or strict boss. This might have been a local community center, church group, sports team, restaurant/café, shopping center, volunteer organization, etc.
And then at other times in our lives, we lose those third and fourth spaces and slowly allow ourselves to get pigeonholed back into just having two spaces. Or—especially after the pandemic and the rise of remote work—one space only.
The challenge with having only one or two spaces to express yourself and live is that it limits the range of expression of your identity.
I can tell you this first hand. When I’m at home or with my family, I take on my introvert or son/brother identity. When I’m at work, I take on my Martial Arts Instructor/Manager identity.
…But where’s the space for my shooting the crap with friends side of my identity? Or my carefree, speak my mind, unfiltered side? Or my adventurous, exploratory, instigative side?
…I need to actively seek out or create a third or fourth space to honor those sides.
Ask yourself what sides of your identity you’re not giving space to and then reverse engineer your way to a space that honors that type of expression.
…Let your identity stretch its limbs once again.