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The Paradox Of Personal Change

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Carl Rogers, Via MoveMe Quotes

Putting on a mask doesn’t change who you are. It may change your outward appearance, but underneath—there you are. Wearing a mask might make you feel different and therefore may entice you to act different, but, when the mask comes off—so, too, does the behavior. They are intertwined. If they weren’t, then why wear the mask?

Social media is the modern-day digital mask. It allows you to change your outward appearance at scale. From the comfort of your home, you can filter how you look, prop up a facade to change the way you live, and surround yourself with people pumped up on vanity metrics. But, after you’re done thumbing through your phone and the screen turns off—there you are. No different than you were before you turned the phone on.

When you accept yourself just as you are, what you’re really doing is accepting your current situation and limitations—as they are. You’re not trying to pretend you’re somebody you’re not, who is living a lifestyle you actually aren’t, who is doing things you, in fact, are not. You’re admitting to yourself your real identity, what you’re actually capable of, and what your current situation will realistically allow you to do.

And there you are. And finally, the real change can begin.

Published inArchivesIdentityThinking Clearly