A mother of one of my martial arts students was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
…Yet, seeing her in person, you’d never know.
She’s vibrant, she’s warm, she’s smiling, she’s taking care of her 7-year-old son’s needs without so much as a single complaint (that I ever hear)… and she’s even DJing on some weekends.
At first glance, some might see this as being possible denial. A possible refusal to acknowledge the diagnosis so the pain or reality isn’t felt. A possible toxic positivity, some might say, to focus exclusively on the good while ignoring fully the bad.
…But, this isn’t the case with this mother at all.
After further inspection and conversation, the vibrance and warmth she’s emitting isn’t coming from denial… but from a refusal to fight.
Which might sound confusing… refusing to fight a cancer diagnosis?!
The idea, she explained on her GoFundMe page, came from the admin of Love Your Cancer Free Life group. He said: “When you fight, it fights back. Rather than fight, accept.”
“Obviously he doesn’t mean to just roll over and play dead.” Lisa explains.
“…It’s more about not feeding into the story that everyone is told about how cancer should look and feel. What he means is come to peace with its presence and accept the need to respond for change.”
She then continued to quote the admin saying, “Fighting is a reaction. Acceptance is a response. Taking authentic action, not reaction, to create the change needed for healing. Stop putting energy into the fight and start placing energy in your POWER for healing.”
…Something we might consider doing in the “fights” of our lives, too.