Living Well Archives · Page 73 of 78

Are You A Leader?

Published on July 30, 2021

Leadership is influence—nothing more and nothing less.

And if you interact with people, guess what? You influence them.

You can’t interact with someone and not influence them.

Therefore, it’s time you started looking at yourself as a leader.

This, in and of itself, has the ability to change your whole demeanor.

Next, you must carefully reflect on how you’ve been using your influence.

Are you influencing people to become better versions of themselves or worse?
Are you using your influence to promote more good in the world or harm?
Are your means of influencing based in love or hate?

It’s time we stopped looking at leadership as a role reserved for a select few.

It’s a role that each of us gets to embody in full each day.

The question simply becomes: will you own it?

Imagine coming across someone who was looking at their reflection in the mirror, without moving, for a considerable length of time. And you ask them what they’re doing, to which they reply, “I’m waiting for my reflection to smile.”

You’d probably chalk that person up as crazy.

But, what’s the difference between that person and the person waiting for a considerable length of time for their circumstances to change? Staring at your circumstances unwilling to make the first move until your circumstances smile back at you—is the same thing!

Circumstances change when you change.

Smile first.

It’s Not The Axe’s Fault

Published on July 24, 2021

Not needing anybody to motivate you is one of the most liberating feelings in the world.

You get to exercise—without needing a trainer, accountability partner, or motivational video.
You get to eat clean—without needing a meal-planner, slap from a loved one, or body goals video.
You get to work—without needing external incentives, pushes from your peers, or threats from your boss.

Having self-motivation saves time, money, and energy.

But, it also takes time, money, and energy—particularly at the outset. At the times when all you want to do is utilize the motivation that can be taken from surrounding external sources. When all you want to do is dive in while you’re hot.

But, here’s the trick: you have to resist that urge.

The same way the lumberjack must resist the urge to chop the tree with a dull axe.

See, most people just grab the axe and start hacking away. And they burn themselves out, fail to make much progress, and curse the axe for not being good enough.

When what’s really required isn’t hacking—but sharpening.

When you take the time required to sharpen the mind and internalize principles that are intrinsically motivating, you’ll be free of the external needs altogether.

And you’ll start chopping through days worth of trees while everybody else is still cursing their axe.

Make What’s Hard, Easier

Published on July 21, 2021

Writing a book is hard. Writing one sentence is easy.

Earning a black belt in martial arts is hard. Attending one class is easy.

Freeing yourself from the grips of anxiety is hard. Meditating for a few minutes is easy.

Everything in life that’s hard, is just a series of things that are easy.

You just have to break things down further and take the first, small step.

And then take it again. And again. Until you’ve done what’s hard.

Filling Someone Else’s Void

Published on July 19, 2021

Rather than think about who you didn’t have in your life, think about who you could be in someone else’s life.

There is a particularly strong opportunity for this in the spaces where you were hurt the most by the people who you wish were there the most.

Why? Because you know just how much it hurts.

And there are plenty of people out there who are hurting just as much—if not more—from a similar type of absence.

And, just think, you could be the one who fills that void.

Your “Just Right” Crowd

Published on July 14, 2021

When I was growing up, life for me was football in the street, wresting on lawns, basketball in driveways, and expeditions to the corner store for 50 cent mega-freezie pops.

I don’t remember much about school or homework and I didn’t really participate in any extracurricular activities. All I remember thinking about was getting back outside and picking up where we left off the day before—right before the streetlights came on and it was time to go home.

Playing with the kids on my block was the focal point of my life.

Each of them challenged me in unique ways. Some made me want to be faster and more athletic. Some made me want to stand taller and speak louder. Others made me want to be more understanding and witty.

Of course, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. We had our fair share of arguments and more-than-play-fights. But, that’s what came with the territory. We were active, competitive, emotional, rowdy, and inexperienced. It always turned out okay though because, without even knowing it, we challenged each other “just right”—“goldilocks” right.

Too easy and I wouldn’t have had a reason to work hard, deliberately focus, or persevere. Too hard and I wouldn’t have bothered trying in the first place. Without them, skill building wouldn’t have ever even been on my mind—I probably would have just binged on TV instead.

That period of my life laid the foundation for my character that I still take pride in today.

The truth of the story is this: if we want to develop optimally, we have to find ways to challenge ourselves “just right.” As the kids on my block did for me whenever we played. As the people in your life can do for you as soon as you find your “just right” crowd, too.

Shoulders Of Giants

Published on July 10, 2021

If I have seen further it’s because I have spent a lot of time climbing the shoulders of giants.

Giants being the people who have grown into bigger, better versions of themselves. The people who can offer a perspective towards life that’s deeper and more developed than my own.

Humility check: none of our perspectives are perfect—each has its flaws.

But, there are people with less flawed perspectives. People who have spent a considerate amount of time carefully analyzing their thoughts, dissecting the thoughts of others, quieting the chatter, training their minds, and seeking the appropriate help.

And it’s those perspectives—those shoulders—that we must seek to climb.

And let’s be clear: climbing is no picnic—it’s always hard. But, gaining access to their shoulders isn’t.

Heck, many giants want to have their shoulders climbed. They write books featuring their best perspectives, share insight on podcasts and videos for those who don’t (want to) read, heck!—many of them even answer well positioned, thoughtful questions for no other reason than to help.

If you want to see further—if you want to gain a bigger, better perspective towards life—start by climbing onto the shoulders of someone who sees further.

It’s there—from that elevated perspective—that you can start developing your own elevated opinions towards the surrounding landscape.

Until then, you’ll just have to settle with what you see from down here.

Category: Living Well