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Category: Living Well

Feelings > Possessions (Part 2)

Published on September 21, 2021

The feelings we crave the most are connected to the feelings that hurt us the most.

The desire to feel:

  • Cool is connected to feeling uncool
  • Admired is connected to feeling un-admirable
  • Impressive is connected to feeling unimpressive

The feelings that pain us are like emotional wounds and the opposite feelings act like the remedy.

Possessions are like band-aids—they only temporarily cover up wounds. And they do nothing to address the pain itself.

If we want to truly heal, then we need to do the same kind of work that our body would when wounded. We need to:

  1. Clot the area and stop picking scabs: The first step is always: don’t make it worse. We need to stop feeding our minds toxic, belittling, hateful information.
  2. Send white blood cells to fight infection: Just like the body can become infected, so, too, can the mind. Every positive, healthy, healing thought and action we can facilitate is like a white blood cell being sent out to fight infection. The more the better.
  3. Create collagen to form new tissue: As the worsening stops, infection is steadily fought, and healing actions continue—pain will subside and new thought processes will form.
  4. Let scars heal: The scar might itch and demand more picking at first, but stay disciplined—eventually it will fade. After a few years, the scar may even disappear completely.

The bottom line: the intensity of our desire for pleasurable feelings is proportional to the intensity of our painful feelings. The more we heal our pains, the less we will need those remedies disguised as opposing feelings.

And we’ll finally be able to rip all the band-aids off.

Feelings > Possessions

Published on September 20, 2021

Why do people really want the possessions they do?

I can tell you straight away it isn’t because of the possessions themselves.

In fact, in most cases, what people really want is to feel a certain kind of way.

And getting that possession, in their mind, is how they feel it.

People want to feel impressive so they buy the new iPhone.

People want to feel cool so they buy the Gucci slides.

People want to feel admired so they buy the BMW.

The problem, of course, with buying things in order to acquire feelings is two fold:

  • One, what’s impressive/cool/admired today, won’t be tomorrow. You’ll be stuck in a never ending loop of always needing to upgrade in order to keep reaching forever fleeting feelings.
  • Two, the people who make you feel impressive/cool/admired because of possessions and not innate characteristics, won’t be there tomorrow either. They will be just as fleeting as the possessions themselves.

That’s why, the real game isn’t about acquiring the most expensive possessions.

The real game is about learning how to acquire the feelings in spite of the expensive possessions.

Because while band-aids have their role, they should never be prioritized over the main goal: healing—so that band-aids are no longer needed at all.

Buy For Your Brain

Published on September 18, 2021

To grow richer, seek new experiences, not new things.

For new experiences beget new information.

And new information begets new connections within the brain.

And a more diversely connected brain is a brain that’s more apt to solve a more diverse array of problems.

And a brain that can solve more problems—better problems—is a brain that will more easily solve richness problems.

The key is to simply continue investing in the brain rather than in items that have no ROI.

For while items may give you temporary feelings of power, status, and appeal—investments give you a forever returning feeling of better, more insightful, more valuable—problem-solving skills.

AKA: Life living skills.

Discovering Stasis [Poem]

Published on September 14, 2021 
Sitting outside
on a beautiful day
the sun warms my skin
as the wind playfully rushes by
and in one cool sweeping grasp
steals it
before I can act

It is then
in but the span of a moment
that I feel nothing
neither warm nor cool
not wind nor sun
and my skin is dissolved
into the world
as the entirety of the world
is dissolved into my skin

How curious
that I am reminded
in but the span of a moment
that stasis can be found
maybe not permanently
but in the spaces in between

Where nothing is triggering
but nothing is comforting either
when wind finally arrives
and sun touches down once again
where all forces momentarily pause
and take much needed rest
before rushing again quickly
to wherever they need to be next

How Are You Spending The Building Blocks Of Your Life?

Published on September 13, 2021

Time, energy, attention—these are the fundamental building blocks of what a life is composed of.

With what you’ve been given, you can either choose to spend, save, or invest these blocks—just as it is with money.

When you spend time, energy, or attention—it’s gone. Like when you watch a show on TV. There’s no return of more time, energy, or attention—it’s just used.

When you save time, energy, or attention—you increase what little you had to a little more. Like when you hire a professional to do a professional service. The time it took you to get the money to pay the professional is far less than the time it would have taken you to do the job yourself—so you pay them. Resources saved.

When you invest time, energy, or attention—you stand to multiply what little you had into much more. Like when you learn new skills and/or gain new knowledge. Not only do you no longer need to hire someone for their skills or knowledge, but you no longer need to hire them for the rest of your life. The return is exponential.

A good exercise to spend some time on:

  • Write down each task of your day.
  • Label each task as being either a spending, saving, or investing of time/ energy/ attention.
  • Think about how you might save and add more investments to your day.

Easy For You. Hard For Others.

Published on September 11, 2021

When work aligns with your strengths, it flows and feels easy—even when it’s hard.

When work aligns with your weaknesses, it crawls and feels hard—even when it’s easy.

A good indication that you’re in alignment with your strengths is if you lose track of time while working.

If you find yourself constantly checking the time, either the work you’re doing is too mundane or you’re in alignment with your weaknesses.

Ask yourself: What’s easy for you that’s hard for others?

And then figure out ways you can do more of that.

The Path To Easier

Published on September 9, 2021

Things usually get harder before they get easier.

If things aren’t going as easily as you’d like, maybe it’s because you’re avoiding what’s hard.

  • Relationship issues? Usually stem from an avoidance of hard conversations.
  • Career issues? Usually result from not doing enough of what’s hard, first.
  • Joy issues? Usually turn up when harder to handle emotions aren’t properly dealt with.

The solution, of course, is to stop avoiding what’s hard and confront it head on.

Only then will the path finally become easier.