Category: Living Well

Let Actions Illustrate Knowledge—Not Words

Published on May 6, 2021

“Today, or anytime, when you catch yourself wanting to condescendingly drop some knowledge that you have, grab it and ask: Would I be better saying words or letting my actions and choices illustrate that knowledge for me?“
Ryan Holiday, via MoveMe Quotes

If you are looking to get in shape, who are you more likely to take advice from? The certified, highly educated, unhealthy trainer — or one of your friends who lives a remarkably healthy lifestyle?

If you are looking to grow your online presence, who are you more likely to listen to? The social media expert, promising 0–100k followers, who has little to no engagement on any of their posts—or the person who posts content that you love engaging with?

When you think about the people who have influenced you the most in your life, do you think specifically about the words they said—or do you think about the way they made you feel from how they acted towards you?

What you will find is that in almost every case what we do speaks louder and has a greater impact than what we say. Even the subtlest of actions may outperform the most potent of words. And so, before you go dropping knowledge bombs on those around you, try subtly modeling the knowledge that you behold instead.

Learn how to get people to hear you without saying anything at all. Learn how to let your presence exemplify your beliefs. Learn how to let your choices reveal your character. Learn how to be the person you advise others to be—and you’ll find that your advise will start becoming more widely received.

Adventures > Chores

Published on February 27, 2021

“I don’t hold myself to longer hours; if I did, I wouldn’t gain by it. The only reason I write is because it interests me more than any other activity I’ve ever found. I like riding, going to operas and concerts, travel in the west; but on the whole writing interests me more than anything else. If I made a chore of it, my enthusiasm would die. I make it an adventure every day. I get more entertainment from it than any I could buy, except the privilege of hearing a few great musicians and singers. To listen to them interests me as much as a good morning’s work.”
Willa Cather, via MoveMe Quotes

If I was given the assignment of having to write a short-form essay every day for 423 days, I would call the assigner crazy. I would dread it. I probably wouldn’t make it past a week, let alone finish it. It’s how I felt whenever I was given a writing assignment in school.

While they were certainly effective at doing what they intended to do, there was still a palpable disconnect in how I felt about them. They weren’t organic to me. They weren’t self-driven explorations. They weren’t internally motivated. They were for a grade. They were rigid and formal. They were chores.

When I decided to write a few paragraphs about a quote every day starting on January 1st, 2020, it was like I was setting out on an adventure. I did it because I wanted to become a better writer. I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it for an entire year. I did it because I wanted to overcome the imposter syndrome I struggled with. I did it because I knew that if I wanted to become a serious writer, I would have to commit to a serious schedule.

And what a ride it has been.

Writing, for me, is one of the ultimate puzzles. There are over 170,000 words in the english language. And to spare both you and I some pretty ridiculous math, there are approximately an infinite number of ways those words can be combined into sentences, paragraphs, chapters, blogs, articles, and books—infinite.

And what fascinates me the most, is that within that mountain of words, lies the keys to understanding. Understanding people. Understanding places. Understanding things. Understanding ideas. And, most importantly, understanding ourselves. You just have to begin your adventure into the mountain on your own terms. And it will never be a chore.

Warning: Waiting For Inspiration Can Backfire

Published on February 25, 2021

“I’ve never believed that one should wait until one is inspired because I think that the pleasures of not writing are so great that if you ever start indulging them you will never write again.”
John Updike, via MoveMe Quotes

TicTok terrifies me. The first time I downloaded and opened the app, I lost an hour of my life in what felt like the blink of an eye—with all due respect to the creators. The pleasures of indulging in the app were so great that it felt like I lost consciousness and all sense of time. I haven’t opened the app since.

The same goes for video games. I tend to harbor an “all-in” type of personality. And when something captures my attention, it’s given my full and undivided attention. At one point in time, many years ago, I was “all-in” on video games. I once faked being sick so that I could skip school and play a new role-playing game (RPG) that I just got. I played for 16 hours straight, had Inception-type nightmares (that felt like they lasted years), woke up drenched in sweat, and quit—cold-turkey—immediately after. I haven’t played since.

Netflix even makes me nervous. The TV series that are available in today’s world, on-demand, are just too damn good. They’re literally designed to make you want to binge and they do a frighteningly good job at it. Each episode is exquisitely crafted to lead you right to the next and they only give you a few seconds to opt out of auto-play—RIGHT AFTER THEY LEAVE YOU AT A CLIFF. It’s preposterous. It’s brilliant. It’s why I keep my distance and only stream once (okay, sometimes twice) a week.

What scares me isn’t the act itself. It’s okay to TicTok, game out, and stream occasionally. What scares me is how easily time is lost to those outlets and how, if not careful, I could see myself losing a ton more time in a not-so-occasional way.

An hour in the blink of an eye? Is that really how I want to spend my hours? 16 hours straight without a break? I literally didn’t do anything else that day—not a single thing that contributed to myself or others. Binging an entire series? What about putting to words the series of my life?

My fear is that if I give these platforms an inch, they’ll take a mile—and it’s just not how I want to spend the miles of my life.

Routine Is Mesmerizing—Your Opportunity And Your Warning

Published on February 24, 2021

“I keep to [my] routine every day without variation. The repetition itself becomes the important thing; it’s a form of mesmerism. I mesmerize myself to reach a deeper state of mind.”
Haruki Murakami, via MoveMe Quotes

Not all routines help you reach deeper states of mind. Some routines lead to mind-numbing, rut-inducing, counter-productive states of mind. The ones that you might find yourself in when you’re waking up late, to do work you don’t want to do, to pay for things you don’t really need, surrounded by people you don’t really like, only to go to bed late to do it all over again the next day. A person in a routine like this may actually be mesmerized to avoid deeper states of mind altogether.

Take heed; for all routines mesmerize.

And I think most of us are, in fact, mesmerized whether we realize it or not. Do you spend time every night plotting out exactly what you’re going to do each morning or do you automatically just do what you do? Do you consciously map out your route to work or does routine navigate the roads for you? When you get home at night do you arbitrarily pick out evening activities or do you subconsciously flow through them?

When you take a close enough look, you might be surprised at how much of your day is actually routinized versus how much you think is spontaneous.

The bottom line: routine can be your greatest enemy or your best friend. It can mesmerize you to reach deeper states of mind or it can do precisely the opposite. It can get you working out without so much as a single thought of resistance or it can fill your head with only thoughts of resistance. It can habitualize reading and writing or it can habitualize binging and gaming.

If your going to be mesmerized by a routine, make sure it’s with a routine that you’d be happy waking up from in 5, 10, 20 years. Because sometimes, that’s how long these states of hypnosis can last. And it goes without saying that not everybody who wakes up from prolonged hypnosis is happy with how all of their time was spent.

Don’t be that person. Wake up and rework your routine. Practice an upgraded routine daily and without variation. Hypnotize yourself deliberately; not accidentally. Take control of the subconscious actions of your life—and you’ll take control of your life.

You Can’t Steer A Stationary Ship

Published on February 23, 2021

“You can’t steer a stationary ship.”
Nicolas Cole, Twitter

I remember as a kid, sitting in the driver’s seat of my parent’s car and pretending to drive. My little hands would hang on the steering wheel as I would speed down the streets and drift through turns with Fast & Furious precision. Contrast that with what was actually happening and you would’ve laughed as you saw little me making exhaust noises with my mouth and yanking on the immovable steering wheel.

Put that car in motion, however, and the steering wheel loosens right up. You could drive with your pinky fingers if you wanted to—although I would strongly advise against that. It’s motion that gives us the power to direct. Idleness is what takes that power away. And even with all of our might, child or adult, we can’t steer a parked car. Which is exactly what so many of us are trying to do with the cars of our lives: we’re living our dreams in our heads.

We plan and plot and envision and goal set and try to come up with the perfect course that will take us precisely from where we are to where we want to be. And we’re also sitting in our cars, hanging from the steering wheel, making exhaust noises with our mouths, and whipping through turns with Fast and Furious precision. We’re trying to drive a parked car. And you wonder why people giggle sometimes when they hear you?

Course correction can only happen when you’re on a course. You can’t adjust the direction of a single dot plotted on a map. You need a second dot, a plot of where the dot has moved to, in order to understand and adjust the trajectory. And so it is with all of your goals and aspirations in life. You get there by driving your car—steering your ship—in the direction of your dreams and making adjustments as you go. As you experience the world and as you get feedback from your actions.

The journey never works out to be the straight line that we envision in our heads anyways. There are always unaccounted for (and many times spontaneous) twists and turns and bumps and driving hazards that come up. Thankfully, straight isn’t the only direction forward and there’s a steering wheel that comes with the car of your life that you can use to navigate those obstacles. So long as you keep your car in drive, that is.

Finish Before You’re Done

Published on February 22, 2021

“I don’t believe in draining the reservoir, do you see? I believe in getting up from the typewriter, away from it, while I still have things to say.”
Henry Miller, via MoveMe Quotes

Finishing before you’re done is a hat-tip to the next session. It’s a gesture of goodwill passed on to your future self. It’s a recommitment to the process rather than an overcommitment to the moment. It comes from the understanding that burnout is real, overworking is counterproductive, replenishing the reservoir takes time, and overcoming the resistance to get back to work never gets easier. It’s a conscious decision to leave some fuel in the tank and to walk away before you’ve completely exhausted your resources so that the next time, you can arrive more ready.

And that’s exactly how it works for me. It happens often that I finish my daily writing and don’t feel done. I get urges to further proofread; to elaborate; to shorten; to rework analogies; to think of better opening and closing lines—and all, of course, right before I hit the publish button! But, rather than deplete all that I have, I save that excess energy for the next one. I recommit to my pace and set myself up for success the next day.

“Done,” for me, isn’t when I have nothing left to give—it’s when I have something good enough to share.

To which you might reply: the enemy of excellence is “good enough.” Be that as it may, what you also must consider is that the enemy of making progress is needing perfection. The need for a perfect writing entry; a perfect workout session; a perfect rehearsal; a perfect drawing; a perfect production—is precisely what’s going to make finishing and repeating the process impossible to do. Don’t confuse a desire for excellence with an unattainable aim at perfection.

This is why I usually stop my workouts once I’ve reached my 70% limit. It’s why I stopped trying to do too much with daily videos, pictures, and audio and decided to focus primarily on text. It’s why I’m able to walk away from my writing once I’ve crossed the threshold from crap to good enough and don’t bother trying for perfect. It’s also why I’m able to keep showing up day-in and day-out and why I usually don’t miss—because I don’t believe in draining the reservoir, do you see?

Understanding The “Compass” Of Your Life

Published on February 20, 2021

“None of us can adequately control the meteorology of other people: they’re nice, they’re nasty, they come, they go. We have no choice but to address, alter and amend the inner coordinate if we want to have a different model of reality, if we want to have more choices.”
Russell Brand, via MoveMe Quotes

We all have an internal compass. A guiding needle that points each of us uniquely forward towards our “magnetic north”: our best self; our best life; our best path forward given our circumstances. A needle that’s made up of our values, morals, principles, character, and experiences.

But, like when a strong enough magnet comes near, our inner coordinate can mistakingly lock on to another person’s coordinate and can cause our needle to turn in the wrong direction—towards someone else’s magnetic north rather than our own.

Objectively speaking, when all emotions and attractions are taken out of the picture, I think we all are in tune with the direction of our inner compass. We know what we have to do to become our best selves, lead our best lives, and what next steps we need to take to keep moving forward. But, we’re not objective.

We’re deeply emotional, easily distracted, and weak against attraction. And when the magnetic pull of another person draws us in, we succumb to the model of reality as they see it and lose control over the direction of our own lives.

But, to be fair, this isn’t something that’s always immediately obvious to us. Like when you’re following your compass and something “kind of” doesn’t feel right, but you tell yourself you’re just being paranoid.

Until, eventually, you realize that the needle has, indeed, been off the whole time because of a magnetic disturbance. It’s a slow realization.

A realization that usually starts in your gut. And if you feel that something is (or might be) off in your gut, that instinct should be honored and investigated. Because what you might find is that what’s making you feel “off” isn’t something arbitrary or random, but rather an undetected attraction in a direction that’s actually just off from your magnetic north.