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Category: Living Well

Happiness Masks

Superficial happiness is a smiling mask that’s put over an unhappy face.

It can be quite convincing, too.

Not because people aren’t good at distinguishing masks versus faces—but because most people are wearing masks themselves.

And calling out your mask puts into question the mask they’re wearing.

…And most of us don’t want to talk about the face that’s hidden under our masks.

It’s precisely why we put masks on in the first place.

And so we carry on smiling and nodding at other people’s masks while we discreetly hide our upset and frown through our own. And that becomes a sort of accepted and forgotten about norm.

Every now and again though, we sit down with a person and they actually take their mask off.

Not to burden us. Not to complain. Not to shower sadness on our superficial happiness.

But, to share what’s real. To express something deeper than a portrayal of happiness. To give their vulnerabilities some space to breathe out from under the tight compression of plastic pressed up against their cheeks and forehead.

And what’s interesting is that the people who tend to wear their happiness masks less, and are able to share and express what’s real to them more, are often the ones who experience deeper joy as a result.

Because the byproduct of wearing a superficial mask of happiness—isn’t happiness.

Happiness is the byproduct of connecting more deeply to (and better understanding) ourselves.

Making Beauty

A beautiful home isn’t something that happens—it’s something you make happen.

A beautiful mindset isn’t something that happens—it’s something you make happen.

A beautiful life isn’t something that happens—it’s something you make happen.

If you let life happen to you, the byproduct will be a mess—for life always moves towards chaos.

Beauty is the byproduct of taking those given messes and turning them into something you can be proud of.

Lego House Or Skyscraper?

Daily affirmation: “I am not building a Lego house.”

Continued: “I am building a skyscraper. I am building a towering and intricate legacy of work that deeply reflects a long-lasting and firm commitment to steel, brick, and mortar—not cheap, plastic toys.”

Repeat as needed when things get tough.

When Habits Become Easier

.…They don’t.

21/30/60/90 days isn’t the amount of time it takes for a hard task to become easy.

…It’s the amount of time it takes for you to not forget to do the hard task(s).

Many people get this twisted.

Hard tasks, generally speaking, never get easier.

The 21/30/60/90 day mark is simply how long it takes for you to integrate a new habit into your lifestyle—it’s the getting to and the starting of the task that gets easier.

Remember this the next time you commit to a new lifestyle habit.

Day 22/31/61/91 is going to be just as hard as day 1. You’re delusional if you think otherwise.

  • An excruciatingly hard workout regime will continue to be just as excruciatingly hard.
  • An extraordinarily strict diet will continue to be just as miserable.
  • An emotionally draining side-hustle will continue to be just as emotionally-draining.

The key is to make sure that the pace you’re setting for yourself at the outset is one that you’ll be able to maintain far beyond just 21/30/60/90 days.

Good measure is to imagine how you’ll feel about your new lifestyle habit on day 9,000.

Do you think you’ll still be doing the task in question?

Proceed accordingly.

Discipline Doesn’t Have To Be Hard

The reason most people have a hard time with discipline is because they choose not to take small, easy, confidence-building steps.

  • They choose to sprint.
  • They choose to rush the process.
  • They choose to jump the high hurdles because they want results NOW.

THIS is what makes discipline hard.

  • You choosing a 60-minute body-destroyer workout vs. a 20-minute moderately intense one.
  • You choosing an insanely strict zero-sugar diet vs. choosing to adopt one new, healthy habit.
  • You choosing to hustle deep into the night at the expense of sleep vs. choosing to build in small, intentional steps each day.

If you want to make discipline easy—you have to make the daily steps easy.

Otherwise, doing the tasks that require discipline will always look gigantic, daunting, and intimidating.

This isn’t the path to a disciplined life.

Just Add Mindfulness

Want to improve everything in your life?

Add mindfulness to it.

This came to me while lifting weights.

When I’m mindless, I’m focused on vanity metrics (e.g. how heavy can I go).

When I’m mindful, I’m focused on real metrics (e.g. how clean can I perform the move).

And being focused on clean form will result in far more benefit than being focused on sheer weight. Because the problem with “heavy as possible” is that, in most cases, the result is “cheating the reps.”

Either range of motion is shortened, momentum is counterproductively used, or bodily adjustments are made to make the movement “easier” by incorporating more muscle groups (that aren’t designed to be involved in the lifts).

Mindfulness makes us aware of these cheating tactics and reminds us to use lighter weights so that we can use full range of motion that’s free of momentum and is focused exclusively on the muscle groups that are being specifically targeted.

So, too, are the benefits of mindfulness evident in every other area of life:

  • Mindless mouth-stuffing becomes savory eating.
  • Mindless busywork becomes focused task completion.
  • Mindless word-gabbing becomes curious conversation.
  • Mindless weight lifting becomes deliberate strengthening.
  • Mindless media-scrolling becomes intentional consuming.

Mindfulness brings full presence to each task. And if the task is worth doing, you might as well do it right. Otherwise, why do it at all?

Come Alive

The future is not “lost.”

We are not “hopeless.”

We are incredibly passionate, resilient, and innovative.

What we need isn’t a defeatist mentality.

What we need are more people to come alive and realize the impact their individual actions can have on the greater whole.