Category: Living Well

Drive To Play

Published on July 1, 2023

Tonight, for the first time in a long time I got to play sand volleyball with some friends.

It was the type of game where none of us were keeping score, all of us were yelling, diving, and cheering, and we all were about as bad as the rest—and it was a blast.

Towards the end of the game, I noticed an older women in uniform, presumably a facilities worker, who was watching curiously from the sideline.

It’s hard to describe, but in the manner of her body language, tilt of her head, and look on her face—it was as though she was living vicariously through us for that brief blip of time—unlike the other spectators who were very casually watching.

It was as though she was entranced—maybe remembering times from the past? Maybe soaking in some of the fun for herself? Maybe just entertained by the ridiculous sight of it all?

…What she was thinking, I’ll never know.

But, what it got me thinking about was how grateful I was to be the participant in those moments. To be the one on the court doing the yelling, diving, and cheering. To be the person in that privileged position of being able to play the game.

Something I think many of us take for granted… until one day we find ourselves drawn to a commotion… that’s on our path home… that contains this scene of people yelling, diving, and cheering… that leads us to a sideline… where we find ourselves watching vicariously…

And suddenly… without a drive to play.

Harder Than Ever

Published on June 28, 2023

My running buddy and I decided to take a break from our early morning run this week.

The extra sleep, we voted, was the more valuable priority.

I got a text not long after that said “Back at it next week, harder than ever.”

This, in my estimation, is a very common response in our hustle, grind, crush it culture.

We take a (much needed) break and then feel guilty because we’re “supposed” to always be on and hustling and grinding, and crushing it… so we double down on the comeback workout and vow to go “harder than ever…”

But, there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

If a genuine break was needed and a higher priority task was put in its place, this is strategy—not something that should make us feel guilty. This is how we play the long-term game, rather than appeal to the short sprints that make us resent the practice altogether.

I replied and said, “No need to make it harder—just back at it. No need to owe yourself anything. No need to beat yourself up. We listen to our bodies and show up with what we have when we’re able.”

And as long as we’re clear on our priorities and honest about what we’re telling ourselves when we miss—this is the path.

Killing ourselves is an awful strategy for long-term success.

P.s. This is the LAST week to get The Art of Forward (Direction > Speed) at 52% off! After this week, the coupon code (LAUNCH) will expire and the price will return to normal.

Work Hard, Play Hard, Just Be

Published on June 25, 2023

I’m the work hard, play hard type.

I have a hard time letting myself relax and play if I haven’t gotten my work done for the day first.

And once I’ve completed my work or exhausted whatever energy I had towards it, I try and cut loose from it completely and relax and play fully—I try not to let work bleed into play.

That said, I’m usually doing one or the other: working or playing. And what I recognized in myself just yesterday is that there’s a third option that I’m skipping over altogether: being.

While this might sound new-age-y… here’s what I mean: after work this past Saturday, I came home and did some additional work that I had on my to-do list. I lasted around 2 hours before I completely zonked out from fully depleted mental energy.

But, it was too early for me to “play hard” and so I found myself in this unusual gap where I didn’t have the mental energy to work, but didn’t hit the time in my schedule where I could play.

And then it occurred to me…

This is precisely the kind of time gap that I’ve been hoping for. A time where I had nothing pressing that needed to get done so that I could practice being present—aka meditating for extended periods of time.

And so I tried it.

I sat in my backyard, eyes closed, for double the time I would normally sit—40 minutes. And just practiced being. It was quite refreshing and something I think needs to be added to the work hard, play hard formula. At least it’ll be something I add to mine.

Starving

Published on June 24, 2023

We hunt so we can eat.

And while eating is the goal, it isn’t the eating that makes us better hunters…

It’s the starving that does.

P.s. Like short bits like this? You’ll probably like my Twitter account.

P.p.s. Grateful for the starving days. I’ve become a much better hunter as a result.

The Almonds Guy

Published on June 22, 2023

I’ll never forget the day I met The Almonds Guy.

There I was, a young and dumb teenager, out partying with my young and dumb teenager friends, in the middle of some local woods, doing young and dumb teenager stuff, when all of a sudden…

This guy walks onto the scene.

…Not too much older than us—early college maybe. Built. Wearing a football jersey that struggled to fit his biceps (which were the size of my head), who was casually eating from a can of… almonds.

Now, mind you—there were a lot of young and dumb teenagers on scene… maybe 30+. And all of them looked just as young and dumb as the next. But, this guy? …He stood out.

He wasn’t drinking. He wasn’t smoking. He wasn’t there for any of it. He was just roaming, laughing, connecting, and… getting his protein on.

I was completely captivated by it.

So, naturally, I stayed close and listened to this out-of-place figure speak what felt like his sermon. And at one point, somebody (finally) asked why he wasn’t partying like the rest… he smiled and said, “My body is my temple. And I treat it as such.”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this hit me at my core. And later became an image I would base the image of my highest self around.

What’s strange though is I never saw or heard of him again. Nor did I ever hear my friends mention anything of him again. I never even got his name.

…And sometimes I wonder if I ever really did meet The Almonds Guy?

Or if The Almonds Guy was something that met me…

The Happiness In Between

Published on June 20, 2023

In a recent newsletter, Mark Manson offered a wonderful analogy for happiness. He said it was like, “Pleasant background music to everything else you do in life.” …He explained how it isn’t the highs; it isn’t the highlights; it isn’t the getting high—it’s the general feeling that arises in the background of it all.

And the more we mistake happiness for the highs in our lives, the more unhappy we’ll be. Because, by definition, the highs can only be few and far between.

The real test of happiness is when there is precisely nothing exciting happening. When there are no extraordinary moments unfolding, no phones out dealing dopamine, and no drugs or alcohol around. When it’s just you inside one of those vast majority moments that exist in-between the highs.

…What does the music sound like? Is it pleasant or is it annoying? Is it something you can even hear?

Here’s my recommendation: as you would create a playlist of songs on your phone to elicit/ facilitate certain moods, so too should you create a playlist of activities in your life that do the same.

Things that aren’t extraordinary in nature, aren’t added to highlight reels, and don’t involve state-altering substances—normal moment things that can help you come into tune with the background music of your life.

Things like screen-free walks, hikes, meditation, art, dance, exercise, journaling, conversation, etc.

Things that are… pleasant.

P.s. Today, I’m thankful for a quiet neighborhood. A place where I can easily tune and re-tune the background song(s) of my life.

Feeling Normal

Published on June 18, 2023

Today while playing basketball, three of the people I was with got injured.

One was feeling pain in his Achilles tendon. Another tweaked his knee. And another took a hit in the ribs and groin. They each sat out the rest of the game.

Injuries happen. Especially when participating in intense exercise that involves sprinting, jumping, and physical contact. And when they do, all we tend to think about is, “Why me?” “Why now?” “How long will this last?” “When will I be healed?” “When will I be back to normal?”

…When we get injured, sick, or experience grief, suddenly our vast array of life interests, excitements, and focuses become one—getting back to feeling normal.

And today, I’m thankful that, all things considered, I’m feeling pretty normal. No serious injuries; no serious sicknesses; no imminent grief looming in the background of my life.

Feeling normal isn’t something I think many of us remember to show gratitude for—mostly because it’s precisely when we’re feeling normal that we’re able to fan our attention out to everything else in the world—and so we do. And if that’s you, I hope you can take a few minutes to come back and feel the full gratitude of normality in this moment.

Because right now, I know those three people I played ball with are probably only thinking one thing and it might be something you don’t even realize you’re so fortunate to have.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.