Category: Living Well

When Freedom Is Bad For Goals

Published on December 14, 2023

Having the freedom to do something “anytime” is the same as having something to do that has zero deadline.

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m assigned a project that has zero deadline… I back-burner that sucker until further notice.

…Until I have more time to do non-urgent things.

And I don’t know about you, but “more time to do non-urgent things” rarely, if ever, just pops into my schedule.

…And I don’t know about you, but I’m rarely in the mood to catch up on additional work when it does. It’s during those times that I’m usually most sick of work and want to unplug and do anything BUT more work.

So, I don’t know about you, but with 2024 approaching and new year resolutions on mind… I’d say we take away “anytime” from our goal timelines.

As I reflect back on 2023… I think it’s precisely this freedom to do things how and when I want to do them—without needing to report to anyone else or hit any specific deadlines—that has held me back.

And it’s funny because it’s not like this is news to me, nor do I think it’s news to you. Of course deadlines help with goal achievement. The trick, however, is in learning how to set deadlines for yourself, by yourself, when the only consequence is the freedom to change it again.

P.s. Now is the perfect time to reflect on your life’s direction. Going fast is the modern day default… going fast in the wrong direction, however, can end up being one of your life’s biggest regrets. Get your direction right with my guide, on sale now ➜

Why I’ve Never Tried Hard Drugs

Published on December 12, 2023

…I didn’t want to like them.

This was the logic I adopted from a pretty young age.

I knew that if I liked it—whatever the drug being discussed was—I’d want to do it again.

And again and again and again.

And I’m the type who has a pretty addictive personality so this trajectory I knew, wouldn’t play in my favor.

And this is a strategy that has, all-in-all, worked out very well for me.

Not only in regards to hard drugs, but in regards to an array of temptations that have crossed my path—sometimes on very accessible and shiny silver platters.

Never forget: the present you experience today is a result of the consideration you paid to your future self, in your past.

And if you can keep your future self prioritized as you would a spouse, family member, or close friend—then when that future you arrives, you just might come to meet a version of you that’s elevated, skilled, and impressive. A version of you that’s on an exciting trajectory. A version of you that you’re proud to meet.

P.s. It’s not too late to start paying consideration to your future self, today.

Follow Your Curiosity (Sometimes)

Published on December 11, 2023

Follow your curiosity is excellent advice. Except when that curiosity leads you down potentially wasteful and/or destructive paths.

I was thinking about this today as I reflected on why I was so damn sleepy.

This past Saturday, my curiosity piqued when I saw a social media video breaking down a Muy Thai fighter’s unique style and found out he was fighting that night. I followed the trail, found the fight, and ended up watching fights and fight videos until well into the night.

Then, on Sunday, I was watching football with my family. During the game, my curiosity piqued when I kept hearing about the upcoming “Must See” matchup between two great teams. So, after my hometown team’s game finished, I rushed home, took care of my final responsibilities for the evening, and stayed up, again, well into the night watching TV.

Now, did I learn something from these experiences—I guess. But, if I’m being honest, it was mostly wasteful. Earlier sleeps, more reading, and less passive entertainment would’ve been better.

Am I saying to completely ditch passive entertainment? I mean… I not not saying that… but, I will admit there can be a time and a place—for sure.

What I am saying though, is to weight the future costs of pursuing your present curiosities.

Is it going to lead to valuable skill building and useful insight or mostly wasted time and sleepy mornings? Because not all pursued curiosity is created equal. And if you can get better at picking and choosing which curiosities to entertain and prioritize… you just might find yourself picking and choosing between better/more upgraded life possibilities.

Opportunistic Moments

Published on December 10, 2023

Today, I was responsible for leading a group of 75 Martial Artists through one of the biggest days of their lives—their Black Belt and higher degree test.

And one thing I’ve learned about approaching big days—both as a leader and performer—is to not think of them as such. But rather to think about them in terms of opportunistic moments instead.

The weight of “big days” can not only stifle you, but steal you away from the very moments you’d most want to remember that are, by definition, housed inside big days. It’ll have you thinking about what’s next, what’s later, what can’t be forgotten, what just happened, what went wrong, and what could’ve been better. Leaving you, mentally, everywhere except where you are.

Bring yourself back by asking yourself questions like: what do I have the opportunity to do right now?

…Is this a moment where I get to show grit, intensity, and spirit? Or is this a moment where I get to rest, recharge, and rehearse?

…Is this a moment where I get to perform in the spotlight? Or is this a moment where I get to cheer for the ones who are?

…Is this a moment to conserve energy and go half-way? Or is this a moment where I get to go all in and really test your limits?

Get better at living inside moments—both on “big days” and normal ones—and suddenly, your days won’t feel so heavy and intimidating. And you might just find yourself feeling lighter, more present, and ultimately… more alive.

Lie For Me?

Published on December 8, 2023

Somebody asked me if I would lie for them today.

When I explained that I wouldn’t and why, I also included the following line to serve as a reminder/ forewarning… a line that didn’t come from some picture quote post I saw somewhere on the internet… but from a place of experience learned the hard way. I said:

Telling a lie now moves difficulty into your future; telling the truth now moves difficulty into your past.

Whenever you find yourself on the fence about whether or not you should tell the truth or lie… keep this in mind. And if that’s not enough, remember that the future difficulty compounds vs the now difficulty because of the accumulating guilt, lie remembering, performing/acting, and follow up questioning.

…Sometimes—oftentimes—difficult now is actually the much easier option.

Honoring Imagination

Published on December 1, 2023

One benefit of having an active imagination that you honor and hold space for is you get to see things before they happen. And the more vividly you see things before they happen, the more real the feelings about these happenings can be. And the more real the feelings are, the more you stand to learn from the experience… before it ever happens.

…Which allows you to apply these visualized learnings to your life minus all the painful trial and error.

Some examples where this is particularly useful:

Vividly imagining a presentation so that you can experience the feelings and flow and make the necessary adjustments before the actual one.
Vividly imagining how various life paths might unfold so you can better navigate your day-to-day decision making before “life happens.”
Vividly imagining death so the reality of how fleeting and short life is can once again come to life in your being.

Do you have a space that you honor that’s for your imagination to roam and explore the possibilities of the future? If not… you might be experiencing more error from your trials than you need to.

Borrowing Energy From… Tomorrow?

Published on November 30, 2023

We only have so much energy we can utilize in one day.

And because of the productivity-obsessed, it’s-never-enough, hustle-based culture we live in, many of us are inclined (brainwashed) to try and squeeze every last drop of energy from our being every single day.

And while in theory this sound logical—after all, YOLO—the problem arises when we start borrowing energy from tomorrow.

See, what so many of us do in our modern world, is squeeze every last drop of energy we have… and then take substances (e.g. caffeine) that give us a few drops more… and then stay up late even though we’re utterly exhausted to squeeze a few drops more… and then try to wake up earlier to preemptively squeeze a few more (because, you know, 5am club)… and so on.

Until, of course, we’re so exhausted of drops that there’s hardly any left to give. Imagine an orange pressed through the juicing machine on it’s 30th consecutive press…

That’s you on your 30th consecutive press of energy without giving yourself the proper recovery and recharge that allows you to switch out the orange altogether.

…Hardly worth the effort.

Rather than obsess over how you can squeeze every single last drop of juice from the orange of our day… What if we focused on squeezing the 70% best juice of our day and then… here’s a radical idea… we stopped squeezing.

What if we left 30% juice in the tank for the next day?

What if… instead of obsessing on 100% squeeze today… we focused on 70% squeeze, every day, for a decade?

What if… starting today… you squeezed smarter instead of being so obsessed with harder?