Category: Living Well

Mind-Wandering ≠ Meditating

Published on September 22, 2023

Yesterday, I had a client tell me they do their meditation while they shower.

Other times, I’ve had people tell me they meditate while they walk or drive the car.

I’ve even had people tell me that household chores are meditative for them (they’re also probably on the brink of enlightenment).

…And the truth is: everything is and can be meditation.

Because meditation is the act of returning to the present.

The problem is, the second we start acting—be it showering, walking, driving, doing chores, working, etc—it usually isn’t long thereafter that we forget we’re trying to meditate and start mind-wandering instead.

And to be clear, mind-wandering and meditating are not the same thing. There is certainly nothing wrong with mind-wandering and the act itself can feel quite good—especially considering how overstimulated our minds are on average in our modern world. A break from the screens where you can just let your imagination do it’s own thing can feel quite liberating.

But, the value received from meditation is something different.

It’s less about unconsciously watching the movie your imagination plays on the walls of your mind and more about consciously choosing time and again to walk out of the imagination movie theater and back into reality—where you can once again notice the here and now.

Your mind will keep trying to bring you back in to watch the movie of your ceaseless thoughts.

But, every moment you remember to leave—regardless of the tasks you’re doing when you remember—is a moment you get to embrace fully.

…And is a moment worth celebrating, indeed.

“Life-ing” vs Living

Published on September 20, 2023

Busy happens when you’re here and you can’t stop thinking about being there.

It’s the byproduct of planning too much into your day, too closely in a row.

…Or, maybe worth considering, it’s the byproduct of simply not being able to be here.

What I’ve noticed is that the people in my life who regularly define themselves as “busy,” tend to be that way on every single one of their days—regardless of the number of tasks they have to complete. And those who never make mention of being “busy,” tend to follow the same pattern.

Now, this might very well be because “busy” people have an increased overall average number of tasks to complete.

…Or it might be because “busy” people have an increased overall tendency to pack their days with tasks so they can intentionally invoke the feeling of busy so as to distract themselves from the here.

My challenge for you, dear busy person, is to challenge “busy” and bring to question how you’re filling your days. Are you really as busy as you’re making yourself out to be? Are there tasks you can delegate, delete, or automate to add more downtime and in-between time? Can you make more of a deliberate effort to be where you are throughout the day and focus less on the next place you need to be?

What a shame, after all, to be so busy getting to the next task that you never have time to be present for the current one.

…What a shame, after all, to be so busy “life-ing” that you never have time left for living.

Not My Job

Published on September 19, 2023

Driving home from work this afternoon, I saw a landscaping crew blowing trash into the street.

And not just grass clippings or weeds or small cigarette butts… I’m talking trash that looked like it was dumped from a trash can—trash. Things like McDonalds paper bags, Super Size to-go cups, plastic food wrappers, empty chip bags, AND grass clippings/ weeds/ cigarette butts…

I can almost see the train of thought in my head: “Cleaning up trash isn’t our job.”

“…We mow, we weed whack, we hedge, we blow, and we go.”

And they’re not wrong.

Cleaning up other people’s trash shouldn’t be anyone’s job except the person who did the trashing—and the greatly appreciated workers who are hired to transport it from our cans/bins to the appropriate community location.

And yet, in that moment… I couldn’t help but feel like they were doing something wrong.

If you’re going to go through the effort of blowing it around and into the street, why not just bend over, pick it up, and put it in a garbage bag that’s preemptively set aside? Why not go the extra mile (or extra few steps) and properly deal with the property you were hired to care for? Why not be the change rather than perpetuate the problem?

I say this not from a place of judgement, but from a place of care. I say this not from a place of being perfect at doing this myself, but from a place of inquisition. I say this not to call people out, but to inspire others—myself included—to step it up.

I say this because I think, it’s what more of us need to hear.

Maybe It’s Time To Try?

Published on September 17, 2023

My team and I completed the 10k, 20 obstacle, mud run today.

…The one everybody was in their feels about yesterday—unsure of how to act as they moved slowly towards that place that’s outside of the ol’ comfort zone.

…But, move forward they did. No back outs; no bad energy; no hesitations. Everybody did their best and many… beat their previous bests.

Old ideas of what their perceived limits were—were smashed; new limits were reached; and many of them left with something they’ll hold onto for life.

Here are some of the things that were shared in our group chat after the run:

“I had no idea our bodies + brains could do so much…”
“This was definitely an amazing memory and experience…”
“Something I will never forget…”
“A Tough Mudder was not something I ever though of doing & I did originally come up with all the reasons not to, but figured I had nothing to lose by trying. Thanks everyone for making this such an amazing experience!”

Some questions for you, dear reader, to reflect on: when’s the last time you challenged one of your perceived limits? As in, actively tried to do something that you’re pretty sure you “can’t” do…? Maybe it’s time to get something into your calendar you can train for…? Maybe it’s time to team up with a group of people who are heading in that direction…?

…Maybe it’s time to try?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Excited / Nervous Mix

Published on September 17, 2023

Ten of my team members and I signed up to do a 10k, 20 obstacle course, mud race—one that none of us have officially trained for and one that has been rumored to be quite hard.

These are the types of messages that were being sent in our group chat:

“Outfit picked, salvation army shoes, nervous but I’m committed…”
“I’m nervous but excited to make the finish line…”
“I’m a bit terrified and a lot excited. Whatever happens, it will be an experience!”
“I’m mostly scared and a little excited…”

The excited/ nervous mix is an excellent indicator that you’re moving outside of your comfort zone and towards a zone of growth.

The ego is the nervous trying to pull you back towards safety—where you won’t embarrass yourself, mess up, get scared, get tired, get dirty, and so forth.

The deeper parts of yourself are the excited trying to push you towards something greater—where you get to “make the finish line,” overcome new obstacles, prove your strength, develop spirit, callous your mind, complete something harder than most others would even dare to attempt, and so forth.

The key, worth noting, is in the mix.

All nervous and no excitement and there will be no reward / reason. All excitement and no nervous and there won’t be enough depth / substance. Get the two mixed just right, though? And what follows as you step into that mix may very well imprint itself into your memory… for life.

…It’s the type of mix that makes memories that last lifetimes.

Mind Party

Published on September 13, 2023

One of the most interesting classes I took while at Burning Man was a meditation and beats class.

A young, shaggy haired fellow, wearing loose, oversized clothing sat at the front of the group—maybe 30 of us, all lined up in a Tetris format with some sitting in lotus, some upright in chairs, and some laying down diagonally with hands folded across their chest—and guided us through a meditation with a banana mic.

Yes, a mic that was dressed as a banana.

…When at Burning Man, eh?

For the first 30 minutes, he got us to relax into our bodies, had us do body scans, guided us through breathing exercises, helped us quiet our minds, and spoke about recognizing moments of mindfulness as celebrations.

…It was that last point that I found most interesting.

A moment of mindfulness, he explained, were those particular moments when you noticed your mind has wandered and you came back to the present moment.

This is the moment when many of us, myself included, would normally get most frustrated. Because it’s the moment when you realized you failed to stay present.

But, reframing those moments as celebrations and not frustrations made perfect sense.

Why frustrate over a moment successfully reclaimed? …It should absolutely be seen as a victory! In fact, it’s the very thing that we’d want to reinforce if we want to facilitate more of the same.

…And just as I was making this connection and beginning to practice—our shaggy haired leader suddenly started playing psychedelic music and for the next 30 minutes, it was like a party in my mind.

Paper, A Little Ink, and Some Nice Words

Published on September 12, 2023

One muddy morning at Burning Man, the day after the rain concluded and while many of our camp’s campmates were hanging out after having mostly sheltered in place, one campmate started clapping, cheering, and complimenting people who walked by.

“Looking great in that fur coat and top hat!”

“Rocking that outfit today—love the boots!”

“Amazing color combinations—woop woop!”

…Were the types of things I heard in the background as I engaged in conversation with others.

Not long thereafter, I got a piece of watercolor paper passed to me with a “10” written on it.

And not long after that, everybody had a piece of watercolor paper with a “10” written on it.

And just a few minutes after that, our camp would announce (over megaphone) each person who would walk by and each of our campmates would “score” them based on their outfits or demeanor or bike peddling strategy or whatever… and “10’s” would flash before their eyes and everybody would cheer and shout.

…Our camp must’ve “scored” over 100 people that morning.

And you should’ve seen how each person reacted with nothing short of pure joy and delight.

…And from what? Paper, a little ink, and some nice words?

This is one of my favorite lessons (and memories) from Burning Man: Don’t overestimate what it takes to make a difference in this oftentimes dark, cold, and mucky world. Doing good often requires far less than you think.

P.s. I kept my “10” and have it posted on the mirror in my bedroom—to remind me that “10s” are subjective and I can choose to be a “10” every day.