Category: Living Well

Who Is A Rich Person?

Published on June 7, 2024

…This is the question we’ve been discussing this week at the martial arts school I teach at.

Some of the student answers we received ranged from, “Someone who has a lot of money” to “Someone who has a lot of kindness” to “Someone who has a lot of friends” to “Someone who has a big house and fancy car” to “Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos” etc.

And after discussing those answers, the answer we offered for the students to reflect on was, “Someone who appreciates all they have.”

…If your mind immediately goes to rich by comparison, then you’ll always be poor.

There will always be someone out there who has more money, more luxury items, more connections, more resources, more privileges, etc. Always.

And this is the trap so many of us fall into when we equate richness to being about what we have in comparison to.

Richness, I’d encourage you to consider, has nothing to do with comparison.

Richness has everything to do with perspective. It’s a feeling that can be cultivated—not a title earned from a number of zeros.

And once we realize this and can start actively cultivating that feeling of richness in our lives via appreciation, gratitude, mindfulness—suddenly the game we’re playing changes.

…Suddenly we get to step off the hamster wheel we’ve been trained to run on (the one that only speeds up and gets harder the harder we speed up and run)—and get to start soaking it all in instead. With each step… each conversation… each touch… each smile… each exchange along the way.

P.s. I also published: 20 Heavy Michelle Zauner Quotes from Crying In H Mart on Cancer and Grief

Currently NOT Crushing My Goals

Published on June 3, 2024

I’ve been having a hard time creating outside of these daily 1-minute posts.

My new year resolutions were to write one additional longer form article each week, create two new digital product guides, and create my first ever video course.

I have barely made any progress at all on the latter two goals and have published only a handful of new, longer form articles since the new year.

The feeling I’m having is one of being too wrung out—like a sponge who has been squeezed too tightly and is only left with a dampness and a slow trickle of fresh water to re-soak with.

I can think back to times when I was creating easily. Busting out longer form articles almost daily… creating guides with volumes of enthusiasm… building digital ideas well into the night—even on weekends and holidays.

Which isn’t what I’m feeling now. And I’m learning to be accepting and mindful of it so as to not stop showing up or quitting—this is a comfort zone trick—but to keep showing up anyway while simultaneously feeling every bit of what I’m feeling.

This is the real trick: to merge with what you create so that what you create can help make you. Every part of the journey matters. No part should be skipped. Now is the time for a heavier focus on refilling. Soon, it’ll be time for another season of wringing. This is what the mindfulness and acceptance allows… a complete cycle.

…Which might be worth considering if your art is chronically incomplete.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Secret To Better Self-Control

Published on June 2, 2024

One of the best pieces of advice I can offer for building better self-control is to prepare better alternatives.

The thing to understand is that if you say to yourself, “Don’t eat the cookies” the mind doesn’t hear the “don’t”—it just hears “cookies” over and over again.

…And it’ll keep wearing away at your self-control until you cave in.

Better would be to have a solid alternative ready that you can shift your focus to when you need it, on demand. For example, rather than “not eat cookies” being the focus, eat a protein bar with peanut butter on top instead (what I do). Or if you want to control yourself from eating anything additional at all, get into a book or task asap so that your mind can shift away from the thing you’re trying to avoid.

The secret to better self-control is in the speed—the quicker you can begin an alternative, the less willpower you’ll drain and the more you’ll have for other things later.

Another example: today I took a sticky note and wrote at the top, “Instead of socials:” and underneath started a list of things I can do on-demand when I’m feeling lazy and like I want to browse mindlessly. I listed things like “RV” (to search for an upcoming trip), “Posters” (to create for MMQ), “Philly D” (a news show I watch), etc.

Which might sound silly, but is kind of what I need when I’m feeling lazy and mindless. No thinking, just look, type, and go.

Bottom line: when you’re under a spell of desire (cookies, socials, etc), easy is everything… because easy is fast… and fast is the secret.

Ripple Here First

Published on May 31, 2024

Start by taking care of yourself—physically, mentally, emotionally…

Everything after this step is counterproductive if this first step isn’t done right.

If it is done right, then, focus on taking care of your environment… physically, aesthetically, organizationally…

These first two steps are intimately intertwined. As the saying goes, don’t go complaining about the world until your own house is in order. Systemize your chores. Tend to your gardens. Repair what’s broken. This will elevate who you attract back into your life which will further compliment self-care. Only after this is done right, should you extend your efforts further.

Continue by taking care of your family (by birth or choice)… seek to help them physically, mentally, emotionally… these are the closest people to you in your life and rightfully, should get the majority of your energy and focus. Add value. Offer gifts. Share experiences. Proceed to the next wave only after this wave is satisfied.

Next, carry the ripple outward by taking care of your friends, acquaintances, clients, closest community members, further away societal members, worldly neighbors, etc… offer them what value, gifts, and support you can with what’s left over from above.

Jumping to this step while your family suffers or while your house falls into disarray is backwards. First things first. Get the origins of your ripples in order. Initiate all waves from the core of your being and let the power of the ripple be felt proportionally outward from there. To initiate waves from the other side of the world leaves you with only the tiniest of ripples in return.

…Which only reduces the energy you’ll be able to put into the next one (and so on).

Away From Obligation

Published on May 30, 2024

One thing I’m quickly noticing in myself as I continue doing my nightly walks without Stella is an increased pace.

I’m walking much faster by myself than I did when she was with me.

I don’t know if it’s a subconscious attempt to complete the task—as though it’s obligatory—but I have to consciously remind myself to slow down… as she would do for me when she would stop to pee or smell pee or stalk a bunny or whatever.

I don’t want these walks to feel obligatory.

I don’t want anything I do to feel obligatory.

And the best antidote I’m finding to that obligatory instinct, counterintuitively, is to slow down the very thing I’m trying to expedite.

Not being in a rush to finish is an excellent sign that you’re enjoying the process—the moment (life)—for what it is.

That We Made It This Far…

Published on May 29, 2024

That we won the one-in-a-trillion lottery and were born.
That we had the basics of survival covered until we were able to provide on our own.
That we had the chance to learn and grow.
That we were able to create art and consume art and share art.
That we were able to love and laugh and lose…

…Is the ultimate blessing.

And to live as though it isn’t (by taking it for granted or simply forgetting) is to set your story up for an abrupt and regretful conclusion.

Rent’s Due

Published on May 14, 2024

Love; kindness; compassion; contribution; and a commitment to goodness and doing what’s right… this is the rent we pay in exchange for being able to live here on earth. It’s how we pay forward the gift we’ve been given of getting to live on a beautiful planet.

Hate; cruelty; heartlessness; greed; and a commitment to wrongdoing and evil… is to completely abuse this gift and is to trash the very house from which we were gifted to live in. It’s to shed yourself of responsibility, disregard anyone who is to come after, and to selfishly waste resources that could otherwise provide and help sustain continued life.

If there’s one thing you should aim to do throughout your life, it’s to leave this space—this beautiful planet—better than you found it. And we do this every time we pay our rent… which is done in every step we take, every decision we make, and every interaction we partake in… be it monthly, weekly, or daily… in how we chose love over hate, kindness over cruelty, compassion over heartlessness, contribution over greed, and goodness over evil.

Rent’s due.

…And for all of our sake—please don’t be late.

Inner Work Prompt: Are you leaving the world better than you found it? What’s one thing you know you need to do a better job of that you want to start improving?