Category: Living Well

Take Your Time Living

Published on February 18, 2024

I had a lot to do today.

…And I took my time doing it.

And it was this one simple mindset that made all the difference.

…Because I’ve lived this day before.

I’ve had “the lot” to do and seemingly not enough time to get it all done and guess what…?

It stressed me the hell out every time.

And by the time I make it out on the other side of my “lot” it feels like the day is gone and I didn’t get to enjoy enough/any of it.

But what I’m slowly learning… what I keep reminding myself… what has been a re-occuring mantra in my head is: there’s always going to be a lot to do.

The key isn’t to try and get it all done as fast as possible… it’s to find ways to bring more joy and presence to the doing of those very things that you’re choosing to spend your life’s time doing.

…And one of the best ways I’ve found to do that is to take your damn time doing it all.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

18 Saved Lives Per Year…?!

Published on February 15, 2024

A friend of mine donates blood religiously.

It’s integrated into his lifestyle and it’s one of the ways he gives back.

And given that it can save up to three lives in about a one hour time commitment… it’s relatively an easy thing to do.

I don’t donate as frequently as he does, and it has probably been a year since I donated last… but I just scheduled my next appointment and I plan to make it a bi-monthly occurrence.

It was one of those reminders, at least it was for me, that the biggest, most grandiose plan(s) to change the world mean nothing compared to even the smallest of actions.

Plain Fun

Published on February 14, 2024

Yesterday, I hosted a martial arts class where members could train with non-member loved ones as a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a unique, experiential kind of way.

My goal was to facilitate a type of class that was all partner themed, game-based, and contact oriented, that felt relaxed and above all… was just plain fun.

And the response from the members after the class was overwhelmingly positive with an almost unanimous request to have more “plain fun” classes just like it.

And it was a pleasant reminder that while adults on the surface often present as serious…

…They’re really just kids inside grown-up bodies who came to adopt seriousness as a way to interact with the world—maybe because it’s what they were taught, what they intuited, or what was required—when really… adults, like kids, just want to have fun.

P.s. The next book I’ll be uploading quotes from is Self-Renewal by John W. Gardner. You can pick up a copy and read along here.

Before The Fact

Published on February 6, 2024

Below a screenshot of my cell phone’s home screen (here’s the link if it doesn’t show):

…See that big ol’ Screen Time block at the bottom?

That’s an intentional effort of mine to increase my screen time awareness so that I can deliberately work to decrease my screen time usage.

Before, I would get one push notification each week summarizing my screen time averages—but it was after the fact... after the usage was done and all I could hope to do was be more aware the next week so as to reduce it before the next push notification was sent out.

And, as you might expect, this strategy didn’t really change much week to week.

But, ever since I added that big ‘ol Screen Time block to the bottom of my home screen, my screen time has dropped remarkably.

…And it’s all because I’m getting reminders before the fact.

Seth Godin once said that the best way to make any long term change is with enough short term feedback.

Most of what we do every day is already programmed into our lifestyle as habits. If we want to change that unconscious programming… we need to deliberately and proactively and creatively find ways to consciously remind ourselves to do those new things that go against our current unconscious programming.

Otherwise, the programming will prevail and we’ll keep looking back—after the fact—wondering why the heck nothing is changing.

P.s. Need help programming new habits into your life? My 30 day guide will help. Details here.

What Feels Alive For Me Now?

Published on February 5, 2024

…This is a question that guides my friend Nat’s life.

Whenever he’s presented with an opportunity or comes to a fork in the road or simply notices a rise in unpleasant emotion—he sits with this question.

Because what felt alive yesterday, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive today.

And what felt alive for a decade, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive for the coming one.

And this is an important realization to have.

For something to feel alive, it has to feel the way it feels to look into the eyes of a baby—your baby.

Because following the natural flow of what feels alive isn’t about being flaky; it’s not just about doing things when you feel like it. It’s about honoring the evolving nature of your baby and helping your baby realize it’s full, complete potential.

…Because your baby isn’t just one task, one person, one job, one career, one dream, etc… your baby is the living embodiment of all of those things wrapped into one.

Just as your child will have ever evolving aptitudes, interests, curiosities, skills, and talents… so, too, will your life be an ever evolving portfolio of aptitudes explored, interests investigated, curiosities followed, skills built, and talents developed.

But, if you ignore the call to what feels alive… if you suppress the feelings that are telling you that something feels dead… if you keep pushing forward while refusing to check your internal compass…

Don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere that’s filled with regret.

P.s. My 30 day guide can help ensure you don’t live a life that ends with regret. Details here.

Comparison Beware

Published on February 1, 2024

We compare ourselves with others so we can figure out where we are and where we want to be.

We see somebody:

Fit and decide we want to be strong like them.
Popular and decide we want to act like them.
Witty and decide we want to talk like them.

While this isn’t inherently bad (having role models is great), there’s more to comparison than is often discussed. Here are three reminders:

1) Context impossible. As much as you might think you know about a person (that might make them a “suitable” person to be compared to) there’s still an ocean of context that even they don’t fully understand—which makes their journey and yours forever un-duplicatable.

2) It creates a discontent gap. The further ahead the person you compare yourself to, the longer you’ll have to travel to get to where you decided you want to be—which ultimately results in discontent for the duration of that journey… as opposed to following a content curiosity that stems from deep within your own being.

3) It disregards the direction that comes from your inner compass. The more you try to look, act, and talk like others—the less you’ll end up looking, acting, and talking like yourself. To spend time with yourself—reflecting, journaling, learning, questioning, experimenting—is to invest life energy into yourself that eventually translates into “identity confidence.” This is how you further embrace the unique person that you are in a way that comparison only drains.

P.s. I created a 30 Day Guide that will help you tune into your inner compass and build unshakable confidence in your life’s direction. More here.

Fulfillment via Work

Published on January 29, 2024

I don’t think not doing work is an option.

We can only go so long satisfying short-term pleasures before we regress physiologically to the point of misery and wonder somewhat incessantly what the point of it all is.

See what work does is offer us a path towards growth and contribution. Two fundamental components of feeling fulfillment in life.

Growth because it equals life. The opposite means we’re heading for decay and death.

Contribution because we are social creatures. And doing good for others is good for us.

Now, if the work you’re doing isn’t satisfying at least one of those components, then maybe it’s time to start investing in work that does.

Which isn’t to say you should quit your work altogether and “follow your passions” per se.

It’s simply to say start investing time and energy into 1) figuring out what type of work would fulfill you and cover the costs of living and 2) building skills that make you more valuable / hirable in that space.

If you keep doing unfulfilling work and you’re making no additional investments in yourself or your future work… and your goal is to just get to a point where you don’t have to work anymore—I think you’re on a path of misery. For now and for later.

But, if you’re constantly looking for ways you can better utilize your talents, build more skills, and help more people—beyond just what you’re getting paid to do (bonus points if it’s all aligned)… I think you’re on a path of fulfillment.

P.s. Why “follow your passion” is bad advice.