Category: Living Well

The Best Way To Stop Is To Go

Published on July 4, 2023

Loud noises scare my dog.

And when she’s scared, she’ll press into me insistently until she’s cradled and reassured that all is okay.

Leave her un-craddled and it’ll only get progressively worse. Don’t cradle her enough and she’ll persist and press into you until it is enough.

Telling her to stop being scared or pushing her away only exacerbates it.

However, give her a bone with some peanut butter on it? Or take her for a walk that’s filled with stimulating scents and smells? And she’ll forget what she was even scared about because she’s too preoccupied on the new experience / thought process.

…Assuming, of course, that it’s not a persistent loud noise or one that really shook her.

The takeaway here is an important one. Tell your mind or the mind of another to stop thinking or doing a thing—and it can’t help but continue thinking or doing the thing. Give the mind something else to focus on, however—something that’s captivating enough to consume a majority of its available mental resources—and you can’t help but stop thinking about / doing the other thing.

The next time you find yourself having negative self-talk, trouble with self-control, trying to help somebody who’s stuck thinking cyclically about something they no longer want to, etc—use this strategy of going to get them (or you) to stop.

Wall Mounted Squeeze Bottles

Published on July 2, 2023

I’m in Disney this weekend at a Martial Arts Business Conference & World Class Tournament.

One of my young team members is here for the first time with me, not only competing at the highest level, but soaking in the whole Disney experience.

I asked him yesterday what his impressions were.

…He didn’t need to think about it.

He quickly started describing to me the most amazing thing he had seen that was right in his hotel room—the shower to be exact—and told me about these different wall-mounted squeeze bottles that each contained different liquids… one that had a thick, green shampoo gel… one that had a more white, runny conditioner (and how he didn’t really know what the conditioner was for)… and finished by telling me about the body wash and how it was more of a smooth blue gel.

…And he was absolutely floored by this.

Which made me see it in a brand new light myself—and is why today, I’m thankful for these everyday products that I otherwise would’ve never even given a second thought to; the products that keep me feeling so fresh and so clean; the products that I would have zero idea how to make if I was lost in the wilderness and had to live off the land.

Drive To Play

Published on July 1, 2023

Tonight, for the first time in a long time I got to play sand volleyball with some friends.

It was the type of game where none of us were keeping score, all of us were yelling, diving, and cheering, and we all were about as bad as the rest—and it was a blast.

Towards the end of the game, I noticed an older women in uniform, presumably a facilities worker, who was watching curiously from the sideline.

It’s hard to describe, but in the manner of her body language, tilt of her head, and look on her face—it was as though she was living vicariously through us for that brief blip of time—unlike the other spectators who were very casually watching.

It was as though she was entranced—maybe remembering times from the past? Maybe soaking in some of the fun for herself? Maybe just entertained by the ridiculous sight of it all?

…What she was thinking, I’ll never know.

But, what it got me thinking about was how grateful I was to be the participant in those moments. To be the one on the court doing the yelling, diving, and cheering. To be the person in that privileged position of being able to play the game.

Something I think many of us take for granted… until one day we find ourselves drawn to a commotion… that’s on our path home… that contains this scene of people yelling, diving, and cheering… that leads us to a sideline… where we find ourselves watching vicariously…

And suddenly… without a drive to play.

Harder Than Ever

Published on June 28, 2023

My running buddy and I decided to take a break from our early morning run this week.

The extra sleep, we voted, was the more valuable priority.

I got a text not long after that said “Back at it next week, harder than ever.”

This, in my estimation, is a very common response in our hustle, grind, crush it culture.

We take a (much needed) break and then feel guilty because we’re “supposed” to always be on and hustling and grinding, and crushing it… so we double down on the comeback workout and vow to go “harder than ever…”

But, there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

If a genuine break was needed and a higher priority task was put in its place, this is strategy—not something that should make us feel guilty. This is how we play the long-term game, rather than appeal to the short sprints that make us resent the practice altogether.

I replied and said, “No need to make it harder—just back at it. No need to owe yourself anything. No need to beat yourself up. We listen to our bodies and show up with what we have when we’re able.”

And as long as we’re clear on our priorities and honest about what we’re telling ourselves when we miss—this is the path.

Killing ourselves is an awful strategy for long-term success.

P.s. This is the LAST week to get The Art of Forward (Direction > Speed) at 52% off! After this week, the coupon code (LAUNCH) will expire and the price will return to normal.

Work Hard, Play Hard, Just Be

Published on June 25, 2023

I’m the work hard, play hard type.

I have a hard time letting myself relax and play if I haven’t gotten my work done for the day first.

And once I’ve completed my work or exhausted whatever energy I had towards it, I try and cut loose from it completely and relax and play fully—I try not to let work bleed into play.

That said, I’m usually doing one or the other: working or playing. And what I recognized in myself just yesterday is that there’s a third option that I’m skipping over altogether: being.

While this might sound new-age-y… here’s what I mean: after work this past Saturday, I came home and did some additional work that I had on my to-do list. I lasted around 2 hours before I completely zonked out from fully depleted mental energy.

But, it was too early for me to “play hard” and so I found myself in this unusual gap where I didn’t have the mental energy to work, but didn’t hit the time in my schedule where I could play.

And then it occurred to me…

This is precisely the kind of time gap that I’ve been hoping for. A time where I had nothing pressing that needed to get done so that I could practice being present—aka meditating for extended periods of time.

And so I tried it.

I sat in my backyard, eyes closed, for double the time I would normally sit—40 minutes. And just practiced being. It was quite refreshing and something I think needs to be added to the work hard, play hard formula. At least it’ll be something I add to mine.

Starving

Published on June 24, 2023

We hunt so we can eat.

And while eating is the goal, it isn’t the eating that makes us better hunters…

It’s the starving that does.

P.s. Like short bits like this? You’ll probably like my Twitter account.

P.p.s. Grateful for the starving days. I’ve become a much better hunter as a result.

The Almonds Guy

Published on June 22, 2023

I’ll never forget the day I met The Almonds Guy.

There I was, a young and dumb teenager, out partying with my young and dumb teenager friends, in the middle of some local woods, doing young and dumb teenager stuff, when all of a sudden…

This guy walks onto the scene.

…Not too much older than us—early college maybe. Built. Wearing a football jersey that struggled to fit his biceps (which were the size of my head), who was casually eating from a can of… almonds.

Now, mind you—there were a lot of young and dumb teenagers on scene… maybe 30+. And all of them looked just as young and dumb as the next. But, this guy? …He stood out.

He wasn’t drinking. He wasn’t smoking. He wasn’t there for any of it. He was just roaming, laughing, connecting, and… getting his protein on.

I was completely captivated by it.

So, naturally, I stayed close and listened to this out-of-place figure speak what felt like his sermon. And at one point, somebody (finally) asked why he wasn’t partying like the rest… he smiled and said, “My body is my temple. And I treat it as such.”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this hit me at my core. And later became an image I would base the image of my highest self around.

What’s strange though is I never saw or heard of him again. Nor did I ever hear my friends mention anything of him again. I never even got his name.

…And sometimes I wonder if I ever really did meet The Almonds Guy?

Or if The Almonds Guy was something that met me…