Category: Living Well

When doing chores, what I notice in myself is that the more intense my desire is to be done and get on with something else, the less enjoyable the chore is.

The antidote then, that I’ve been experimenting with in my own life, is to reverse this innate response to be done with it asap—and to take my time doing the chore instead.

This isn’t the type of advice you might be used to hearing.

In our modern world, the conversation is focused around hustling, automating, outsourcing, delegating, optimizing—and we hear stories about eliminating busywork, taking full control of your calendar, living life on your own terms, and so on.

…Which typically becomes the predominant thought process precisely when we’re kneeling down on our already sore knees, touching other family members’ undies, folding and organizing a seemingly endless mountain of clothes, all while trying to uncover the floor before the next series of obligations begin.

…It’s no wonder chores are such a misery for so many of us.

But, when you take away the rush, when you eliminate the asap, when you detach yourself from all those preconceived notions and focus on just doing the task as it is—suddenly, the intensity softens, the discontentment fades, and the irritation clears.

The secret to contentment in the “here” has less to do with removing irritating tasks and more to do with stopping the ceaseless desire to be somewhere else.

Give it a try.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Yesterday, I had a client tell me they do their meditation while they shower.

Other times, I’ve had people tell me they meditate while they walk or drive the car.

I’ve even had people tell me that household chores are meditative for them (they’re also probably on the brink of enlightenment).

…And the truth is: everything is and can be meditation.

Because meditation is the act of returning to the present.

The problem is, the second we start acting—be it showering, walking, driving, doing chores, working, etc—it usually isn’t long thereafter that we forget we’re trying to meditate and start mind-wandering instead.

And to be clear, mind-wandering and meditating are not the same thing. There is certainly nothing wrong with mind-wandering and the act itself can feel quite good—especially considering how overstimulated our minds are on average in our modern world. A break from the screens where you can just let your imagination do it’s own thing can feel quite liberating.

But, the value received from meditation is something different.

It’s less about unconsciously watching the movie your imagination plays on the walls of your mind and more about consciously choosing time and again to walk out of the imagination movie theater and back into reality—where you can once again notice the here and now.

Your mind will keep trying to bring you back in to watch the movie of your ceaseless thoughts.

But, every moment you remember to leave—regardless of the tasks you’re doing when you remember—is a moment you get to embrace fully.

…And is a moment worth celebrating, indeed.

Busy happens when you’re here and you can’t stop thinking about being there.

It’s the byproduct of planning too much into your day, too closely in a row.

…Or, maybe worth considering, it’s the byproduct of simply not being able to be here.

What I’ve noticed is that the people in my life who regularly define themselves as “busy,” tend to be that way on every single one of their days—regardless of the number of tasks they have to complete. And those who never make mention of being “busy,” tend to follow the same pattern.

Now, this might very well be because “busy” people have an increased overall average number of tasks to complete.

…Or it might be because “busy” people have an increased overall tendency to pack their days with tasks so they can intentionally invoke the feeling of busy so as to distract themselves from the here.

My challenge for you, dear busy person, is to challenge “busy” and bring to question how you’re filling your days. Are you really as busy as you’re making yourself out to be? Are there tasks you can delegate, delete, or automate to add more downtime and in-between time? Can you make more of a deliberate effort to be where you are throughout the day and focus less on the next place you need to be?

What a shame, after all, to be so busy getting to the next task that you never have time to be present for the current one.

…What a shame, after all, to be so busy “life-ing” that you never have time left for living.