Category: Living Well

Let Each Blink Remind You

Published on March 24, 2024

One of my staff members won sparring grand champion at a regional martial arts tournament this weekend.

…And another one of my staff members got into a car accident and totaled his car (he’s okay fortunately).

I read a status saying, “I am whole. I am a woman I am proud of. I stay true to myself. I am in love with life again, excited for the future and I find so much beauty in just the simple day to day or the smallest gestures. I live a way higher quality of life and offer love with no expectations because I know how it feels to hurt.”

And another one saying, “I’m making dumb, embarrassing mistakes, I can’t think or function and I’m in a constant state of panic and anxiety yet somehow could stay in bed the rest of my life. I don’t need or want pity or sorry’s, just please bear with me. And don’t ask me if I’m ok, because I’m not.”

A friend of mine just had a baby this weekend and said, “We are so in love and our family is complete.”

…And another friend who was pregnant just recently found out she has terminal cancer, had to terminate the pregnancy, and was given 10 months – 10 years to live.

This is your updated reminder that life is short.

That when life is good—cherish it with all of your being. Because things can go bad in the blink of an eye. And it would be so unfortunate to open your eyes from that blink, only to look back and see how much good you didn’t really cherish. Let each blink remind you.

Going All-In On Experiential Learning

Published on March 24, 2024

I’ve never attended a single organized basketball practice.

All I’ve ever done is play pick-up games and practiced on my own based on what I could come up with from previous game experiences.

Contrast this with those who only attend organized basketball practices and sit the bench for games or rarely ever play games and I’d say the former leads to faster learning than the latter.

…Which isn’t to say organized practices aren’t important.

It’s merely to say that when given the choice between play and learn from experience or practice until you feel ready to play… the former wins in what you can learn given equal time.

…Which is the case for how it works in life too, isn’t it?

Spend too much time planning and you’ll miss the crucial experiences that’ll lead to expedited growth. Things like failing, losing, messing up, missing, fouling, and so on… things that’ll lead to potent emotional experiences that’ll intensify the training and follow-up gaming.

Practicing is safe. There’s much less on the line. Which means there’s proportionally much less emotional energy being invested into the work.

Again, this isn’t to say ignore organized practice. Because the ultimate is the happy balance of the both. But, err too far on the side of caution when it comes to experiential learning and you’ll miss out on so much that you could potentially stand to gain.

Inner Work Prompt: What have you been spending a lot of time planning? Could you stand to learn more, faster by just doing instead?

Why I Don’t Have A Case On My Phone (For Now)

Published on March 19, 2024

I’ve been using my phone without a case for the past few days.

While this might sound dumb to some, and while this isn’t something I’d exactly recommend doing, the reason is two fold:

1. It reminds me to be careful. Modern day phones are ex-pen-sive. And even just one drop could result in an expensive repair. Which I’m hyper aware of. Which I’ve realized is a hack opportunity into my own mind—because I can’t help but slow down when I grab my phone and am increasingly sensitive to where I put it when I’m not using it. Think surgeon picking up and putting down tools at the operating table. That’s me with my phone these past few days.

2. Being “full-of-care” is being simultaneously full of presence. I don’t think you can separate the one from the other. And presence is the antidote to the modern day drug that is distraction. Which, of course, is the drug that comes pouring out through our screens in unrelenting quantities. So by triggering “presence” whenever I reach for my phone, it’s almost as if I’m taking a shot of the antidote before exposing myself to the coinciding drug.

Like I said, this probably sounds dumb to some of you. And if you’re the clumsy type, I certainly wouldn’t recommend doing this.

But, maybe there’s another way you can encase your phone with a sort of “presence antidote” that can give you a similar sort of shot to help you combat the unrelenting distractions that are bound to eat up every bit of your time they can manage as soon as you unlock that screen.

Something worth carefully thinking about at least…

Mind/Body Balance In Career

Published on March 18, 2024

One of the things I like most about my career is the mind/body balance.

When I first started teaching martial arts, I was in the trenches. It was and still is quite physically demanding. And it keeps me accountable to myself because I have to lead by example and be the byproduct that I want my students to strive for.

As I evolved over the years, I started building skills that could be used to solve other problems in the organization I worked for and I started taking on more mentally challenging tasks. Things like marketing, curriculum development, class planning, systems management, website design, event planning, and so on.

…Until eventually, my day-to-day work was split pretty nicely down the middle with 50%-ish of my day focused on mental tasks and the other 50%-ish focused on physical ones.

Which, quite appropriately, is something martial arts aims to teach its practitioners to seek in everyday life. You never want to be doing mind-only work for the entire day and you also don’t want to only be doing physically taxing work that completely disregards the growth of the mind.

In everything you do, think about how you can develop skills in a complementary way in the complementary mind/body realm.

Some examples:

Real Estate Agent? Mostly mental work. Build physically focused handyman skills.
Construction Worker? Mostly physical work. Build marketing skills to challenge the mind.
Financial Advisor? Mostly mental work. Build health/fitness skills to become a more multi-dimensional (life) advisor.
Professional Athlete? Mostly physical work. Build pedagogy skills to optimally share gifts.
Social Media Marketer? Mostly mental work. Create and run a meditation group to physically balance the mentally taxing media effects.

The Time It Takes To Make A Difference

Published on March 16, 2024

I saw a stranger smile the other day and it inspired me to write a poem.

…If this is the impact a stranger could have on me… after .5 seconds… just think about the impact you can have on the lives of those around you after:

5 minutes of careful listening.
5 hours of cumulative, constructive conversation.
5 days of warmth and welcoming to those nervous or shy about starting a brand new journey.
5 weeks of accountability as some folks fight to turn task into habit.
5 months of consistently great interactions that always result in smiles and growth.
5 years of all of it. Careful listening, much needed pep-talks (both given and received), warmth, sweat, smiles, laughs, blood, bruises, tears, pain, joy, excitement, disappointment, determination, grit, perseverance, connection, tension, relaxation, moments of unity, moments of training alone, victory, defeat, lessons, support, accountability, community…

We all spend so much more than .5 seconds with the people around us—exponentially more.

…And yet, all it takes is .5 seconds to make a difference.

The question I pass off to you is: what difference will you make on others with the time they spend with you?

How To Make A Pond Ripple

Published on March 15, 2024

Pre.S. The following is an elaboration of this post from June 2021.

Where’s the best place to make a pond ripple?

At the pond’s front? To where it’s deepest? Dead in the middle?

Here’s what I think: …There isn’t one.

The ripples from a stone dropped into a pond will ripple outwards regardless of where the stone hits the water. It’s the nature of the water to ripple when the action of the stone hits it.

Now I ask you this: where’s the best place to make a difference in the world?

Answer: there isn’t one.

Right where you are is as good as any.

What you have right where you are—is a pond. One that ripples just as any other pond ripples.

And what each of you reading this have right now—are stones in your hands… or ideas in your head if you want to break from the metaphorical.

And what so many of us do with our stones is… wait.

…Wait until we get to a different or bigger pond… wait until we get a perfectly shaped rock… wait until we time our circumstances or the weather out just right…

And so many of our stones just get left unthrown… stacked in our head… collecting dust… just waiting for the moment when we’ll finally utilize them.

…And we’re not talking about a handful of stones. We’re talking about the equivalent of an ocean’s worth of stones just washing up and down the floor of our mind.

Stones that could cause ripples of kindness, ripples of growth, ripples of hope, ripples of generosity, ripples of strength… if we just trusted ourselves enough to (finally) let them free.

Misfit Inspiration

Published on March 14, 2024

When I finally agreed to play basketball with a new group of guys—I was nervous.

I hadn’t ever played basketball on a team and had no formal training or experience. I rarely watched games or any kind of tutorial video.

All I had was what I learned playing pick-up ball in driveways and parks at various times throughout my life and a pretty solid fitness baseline.

What I saw when I first showed up was a group of guys who were organized and experienced. They were calling picks and plays and communicating things that sounded like a different language to me—and they were all good.

But, of everybody on the court playing, one guy stood out to me.

He was shorter, didn’t have the cleanest technique, and wasn’t the most talented—but he played like he belonged. And later, I came to find out he was one of the group organizers who had been playing for years and years with this squad.

Of everybody on that court, he was the one who inspired me the most. Not the most skilled player; not the best shooter; and not the player who could dunk—but, the player who I could relate to the most.

This was a really important lesson for me. You don’t have to be the best in the game to inspire and you don’t have to be the most talented to play. And even if you don’t look the part—it’s acting the part that makes all the difference.

So to the people out there who are doing things despite mismatching societal norms—thank you. Y’all are far more inspiring than you might ever know.