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Category: Living Well

What Comes First… Belief Or Behavior?

Published on February 15, 2026

I’ve been trying to get my buddy to play basketball with a group of friends and I for over a year now.

Every time it’s always the same thing: working or no response.

When I saw him today, I was joking that I was tapped out trying and I was gonna tag our other friend in to do the convincing.

He laughed and essentially said, “It’s not happening.”

When I asked him if he’s got anything else going on in his downtime, he essentially said, “…Besides work? …Chill. I work, I chill at home, I work again.”

Here’s the thing: this dude used to love playing basketball. He played for his school. We always used to play pickup at gatherings. He was damn good. And he’s like 15 years younger than me!

What I think happened is at some point along the way, he turned me down one too many times and it became an identity belief.

In other words, he behaved himself into a belief. And beliefs dictate future behavior.

It’s a catch-22 worth contemplating.

Want to lead your life with a different belief or set of beliefs? Start behaving as though the belief is already ingrained. With patience and perseverance… soon enough, it will be.

Want to behave differently? Start believing as though you’re already the kind of person who behaves that way. With patience and perseverance… soon enough, it will be so.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Which comes first, the belief or the behavior?

The answer: it doesn’t matter. So long as one of them comes first and begins the cycle of reproduction.

The Only Shortcut

Published on February 10, 2026

The only shortcut to getting where you want to be (success) is learning from those who have traveled there.

That said, important tip #1: Pick wisely where you want to go. Not every mountain peak elicits the same reward for every traveler. It’s best to listen to no one at this step… except yourself. And to nurture curiosity (especially from childhood) and build a clear understanding of your aptitudes and ambitions while simultaneously unlearning everything you were told to do/want. The picking must come solely from you.

Important tip #2: Pick wisely what path to take. There are endless ways to the summit. Some significantly better than others. This is where research matters. Don’t just take the easy route. Don’t just follow the first path you see. Meticulously measure the pros and cons of each path, challenge the information sources, and fight to understand fully.

Important tip #3: Pick wisely who you’ll listen to. The person who has never climbed? The person who speculates from afar? The person who climbed a completely different mountain? Or the person who has hiked your mountain numerous times?

These kinds of mountain people aren’t the easiest to come by either. They only have so much energy to give to others: they’re climbing mountains for god’s sake! And what they have to give outside of their inner circle is sparse.

Which is why important tip #4 is: Pick wisely what you’ll offer. These people have already climbed the mountain so they probably won’t need your resources. What they’ll need is something else… something personable… something interesting or inspiring… some meaning or calling to do so… something only you can offer…

…Something to reflect on.

THIS Should Be Your Definition Of Success

Published on February 9, 2026

Paint a picture for me of what your ideal day looks like. I’ll start:

  • Wake up slowly; no alarm.
  • Scorching hot shower.
  • Foam rolling/ deep stretching/ mobility/ (p)rehab work.
  • Disguised exercise. Be it martial arts, sports, hike, dancing, or lifting.
  • Sauna/Steam room/rinse off finish.
  • Work that excites me.
  • Afternoon nap.
  • Scorching hot cup of black coffee.
  • Reflective/Creative; Writing/Reading; Inner Work time.
  • Meditation.
  • Work that excites me.
  • Evening spent slowly unwinding, chatting, dining, playing, and connecting with the ones I love.

You know what this now becomes?

…Your definition of success.

Not “getting six or seven figures into my bank account.”

No. Your ideal day becomes the definition that you can begin reverse engineering your way to.

It’s clear. It’s aligned. It’s priority focused.

…It’s what your life is composed of: days fulfilled or not.

And if you can successfully fill your days… how could you not have successfully filled your life?

Get One Law Really And Completely Right

Published on February 8, 2026

Your self-declared boundaries are only as good as they are enforced.

Which is why it’s good strategy to only declare boundaries that you’re going to enforce completely. Not partially and only when you feel like it… but in an all-of-the-time kind of way.

Because the problem with being partial or mood-dependent is that the same energy seeps into other boundary areas, too. Your being soft with your intermittent fasting boundary, causes you to become soft with your exercise regiment, which trickles into being soft about your cheat days, etc.

…But, that’s also the opportunity.

Because if you can get one boundary completely correct… your other boundaries will start to absorb the same kind of energy too.

You resolve on an intermittent fasting window that’s practical and aligned with your lifestyle; this makes you feel like the kind of person who does what they say and makes you want to show up to your workouts when you say you will; which makes you more likely to stick to your cheat day(s), etc.

It’s a reminder to 1) treat your word as law, 2) be mindful and practical with what words you choose to say as law, and 3) start by getting just one law right—like really and completely right. Use the energy from that to build your others from there.

Distance From Truth

Published on February 5, 2026

Osho says that misery is nothing but distance from truth.

Think about the proximity of truth in some of the best/worst relationships you’ve ever known. The relationships riddled with lies were probably the most miserable. And I’m not even just talking about lies with your partner… I’m including lies you’ve told yourself… about who you are, what you want, and how you’re going to show up in the relationship to make it work. And I’m sure the inverse is true as well. Lies move pain (misery) into the future—truth moves pain (misery) into the past.

Think, too, about some of the best/worst job or career paths you’ve ever pursued. The work that was most aligned with the truth of your personality/spirit, was the work you undoubtedly most enjoyed. And the work that felt like a direct contradiction I’m sure caused the most misery. But, again, we can’t be true to our work until we’re true to ourselves. We need to do personality tests, build skills, join clubs, follow our innate curiosities, experiment/side-hustle, and, of course, do inner work to reveal our truth which we can then align with work.

And even just think about some of the best/worse moments in your life… when you were crossing items off your bucket list—doing things that truly fulfill you. Or when you were forced to do something you really didn’t want to do or hated every second of… that was so against your inner truth…

Once you understand this, moving towards truth can become a mantra of sorts that’ll guide you in just about every dimension in life. Once you uncover, of course, what your truth is.

Is It Possible To Experience An Extraordinary Moment That Isn’t Self-Created?

Published on February 1, 2026

In other words, can we experience something extraordinary without any active involvement or effort on our end?

I’m not sure we can.

In fact, when I list some of the most extraordinary moments I’ve experienced in my life, they’re all moments I was very much involved with facilitating. Things like:

  • Skydiving (researched, booked, paid for, attended, trained, got on the plane, stepped out, etc.)
  • Travel/Cultural Experiences (researched, booked, paid for, packed for, traveled to, noticed, absorbed, etc.)
  • Milestone Moments (graduations, big purchases, martial arts ranks obtained, etc.—all worked incredibly hard for)
  • Deep Connection Moments (heart-to-heart conversations, intimate energy exchanges, the depth that comes from sharing the same long-term path, etc.)
  • Flow State Moments (when immersed in an aligned game/activity, when dancing/celebrating without self-consciousness, when training/being challenged appropriately, etc).
  • Indomitable Spirit Moments (when being pushed to my limits physically, mentally, or emotionally).

I’m not sure we can just passively sit around, wait, and get hit by an extraordinary life moment that’ll make it onto our life’s highlight reel.

Sure there’s luck, serendipity, and happenstance. But not without our active involvement in some way, shape, or form. In fact, my experience has been that the more I do of the latter, the more I tend to get of the former.

Which is worth reflecting on… does this ring true for you? What are some of your life’s most extraordinary moments? What moments are you actively building to be soon experienced in the next week? Month? Year? Decade? What extraordinary life moments are on your bucket list that you can start actively building for today?

Recognizing Moments Of Reward As They’re Happening

Published on January 30, 2026

Every afternoon, between 2-3pm, I:

  • Put on noise-cancelling headphones
  • Sit quietly into my posture-correcting chair
  • Sip on a scorching cup of black coffee
  • Read, re-read, think, re-think, stare at blank pages…
  • And write

And it’s one of my favorite hours of my day.

Not because of what gets done… but because of how much reward comes from the moments themselves within the hour.

I feel this way about my time spent teaching, practicing martial arts, playing basketball, dancing at music shows, conversing with my favorite people…

These are the things we should be packing our days with—the things we don’t want to end.

I dread the day when I won’t be able to do even one of the above mentioned activities… because this is how I’m most enjoying spending my life’s time.

And today’s reminder is simple: don’t get so caught up in trying to finish, trying to be done, in being “productive”, in being “efficient”, or in getting to whatever is next that you forget to enjoy the reward that comes from doing your favorite things right here in the now.