To force is to fight against the forces around you.
To surrender is to align with the forces around you.
The problem is that most people aren’t aware of the forces around them—because they’re too busy trying to force a schedule, force an agenda, force a relationship.
The trick is to slow down enough so as to actually feel… not only the energy coming from the forces that be… but the energy coming from the forces in your being.
This is my neighbor (Image link if it doesn’t show above).
I don’t know how old she is, but my guess is well into her 90s. Her spine has her hunched over almost a full 90 degrees and she’s more blind and deaf than she is seeing and hearing.
Today, she ventured over to my house and we had a quick chat. A lot of what she was saying didn’t make sense, but, I carried on with her at a decibel loud enough for all of the immediate neighbors to hear. Once finished, she turned to leave and I followed her home.
…What I found interesting is right as she turned the corner from her driveway onto her front porch walkway, she noticed out of the corner of her downward pointed gaze a flower pot and a weed. She reached into the flower pot and pruned away the dead branches… took a few more steps, grabbed the weed that was as tall as her, bent it to the ground and stomped on it until it snapped.
…And yet, just a few moments earlier, when we were talking in my driveway, she told me that if she died, her house would go to her son and daughter—which, she said as casually as she did their names—”might be tonight.”
…And yet, there she was, still tending to her garden; still bringing beauty to the world; still managing what worldly chaos she could in the best way she knew how.
It’s ironic… the people you spend time with who make time go by the fastest… are the ones you should continue to invest in.
Not because you want your days, weeks, months, years, life to fly by… but, because “flying by” is one of the surest signs we have of time well spent.
People will occasionally ask me if I have kids.
“…I have 300” I’ll sometimes jokingly say—referring to my 300ish martial arts students.
But, the more time I spend around parents—and get an *actual* look at parenting life—the more I realize how much of a joke it is to say that.
Parenting life is no joke. And I know all of the parents out there know it. But, to those who think they know it, but aren’t, let me just tell you—you don’t. There are as many different ways of parenting as there are parents.
And the thing that blows me away more than anything else is seeing parents devote everything they have (and more) to figuring out how to best educate/mold/raise their child to become a great person and community member. From the second they wake up (or maybe more properly put—get woken up) to the second they go to bed (if that ever even happens)—it’s all about that child or the children.
And what an incredible devotion it is, indeed.
This is all to say: shout out to the parents out there doing it. Devoting everything they have to the next generation even if it’s at the expense of themselves. Not all parents make the decision to parent—but if you did… and you are… thank you.
…It’s something I feel you might not hear often enough.
I watched a video the other day of a guy in a legitimate virtual interview, answering questions with an AI app, in real time.
The interviewer would ask a question, the AI would type a response on the guy’s phone essentially instantaneously, and the interviewee would simply read verbatim what it came up with.
…And the interviewer had no idea.
But, you know when they will?
…When they meet IRL.
See I’m all for AI becoming your assistant and helping you process information, come up with ideas, and create in ways that help you better do your job.
But, when you use AI to replace yourself completely? To speak for you verbatim? To act in place of your own authenticity, uniqueness, perspective, experience, and social/emotional intelligence?
…Don’t be surprised when AI does, in fact, replace you completely.
I took a martial arts class from a former UFC fighter yesterday and he said something I loved.
He described to the class a time when he competed against an incredible Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitor and lost.
And rather than talk trash… or print the guy’s picture out and place it on his treadmill… or even sulk in his loss and beat himself up over it… guess what he did?
…He invited the guy to his school to teach a seminar and then took a private lesson with him after.
I knew very little about this guy before I took his class, but I can tell you what… I have a pretty good idea of why he’s successful after just that one story.
I’m in Florida at one of the biggest Martial Arts tournaments in the world.
I have several students competing and took them out to dinner last night.
Two of the youngest suggested we all put our phones face down and on top of each other in the middle of the table—so we could all be more present.
And it wasn’t until they suggested it that I realized I was the one who was on my phone more than anyone else at the table.
…To my defense, I was texting people who I was going to order food to-go for, who I was going to meet up with later and tomorrow, and who wanted pics and vids.
And yet, it really wasn’t an excuse.
…There I was, at the table with around 15ish of my team members, sending texts to other people.
And it took two of the youngest to remind me: there’s a time and place for those text convos… but right there, right then? …With all of us together IRL? …Enjoying the victories of the day and talking about the excitements of tomorrow? …Wasn’t it.