Category: Living Well

Meaning > Fun

Published on June 11, 2024

If your top criteria for doing something is that it be fun… then you’ll eventually regress to doing things that give comfortable thrills, dopamine hits, and easy wins.

If your top criteria for doing something is that it be meaningful… then you’ll push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable up front, but long term rewarding… things that are accompanied with progress, deep-seated gratitude, and fulfillment… things that challenge you to fail, learn, and grow.

Fun is for lazy Sundays, nights out with the boys, day trips with the girls…

Meaningful is for career paths, health and fitness efforts, community service, legacy…

The trick is to do meaningful work that you also have fun doing that you’d STILL DO even during the times when it isn’t so fun (no meaningful work is fun 100% of the time).

Expecting meaningful work to feel like an arcade isn’t practical. What you can expect, however, is to feel a deep sense fun/joy/reward from meaningful work that superficial “fun” work could never provide.

Something that comes from seeing others and feeling yourself improve… that comes from building something of value and awe… that comes from seeing your art/ creative visions come to life… that comes from thank you letters and unprompted gifts… that comes from changing lives.

Fun-only is almost always absent of meaning. Meaning-only almost always includes some sense of fun. Maybe not immediately, but almost always over the long run.

An Ounce Of Patience Is Worth A Ton Of (Inner) Peace

Published on June 10, 2024

On my drive to work this morning, I pissed a guy off very much.

While crossing the street in the middle of traffic, he started yelling and swearing at me for driving too… slow… because I didn’t drive past him fast enough which made him slow down his stride and (god forbid) wait an extra few moments before he could finish his jaywalk.

Looking in my rear view mirror, he didn’t continue in any kind of hurry either… just continued walking across the street, mumbling to himself, with anger oozing from his mannerisms.

The experience as a whole couldn’t have cost the guy anything more than 10 seconds. And yet, probably cost him upwards of at least 10 minutes from his exacerbated response… maybe even hours—who knows. And here I am, furthermore, thinking about it and writing about it hours and hours later.

Coincidentally, as the universe would have it, I discovered and uploaded a quote to MoveMe Quotes today that said, “Patience is not passive, it is concentrated strength.” And this little experience does a great job exemplifying why.

Ten seconds of patience—concentrated strength—could have given him and me (and anyone else involved) an exponential return in time saved from anger/ frustration/ and irritation… time that could be used instead for joy/ presence/ creative thinking/ etc.

And to those who take the time to develop that concentrated strength and actively flex those patience muscles in their every day lives—thank you. Not only is the ROI phenomenal for you, but it is for all of us. Your strength gives us more time and space to develop ours—and for that I am (we are) grateful.

Traveling the Distance

Published on June 9, 2024

Today, the Martial Arts Association I’m a part of hosted a black belt and higher level degree test for 80 candidates.

Each earned their way onto that testing floor from years and years of consistent hard training and well displayed martial arts culture / respect.

And each outlasting many of their peers who started on the same journey with them. Maybe only 1% makes it all the way from white belt to black belt. And maybe .01% makes it to the higher degrees. Their dedication carried them forward to a place where most never travel.

And so it is with everything we do in life.

There’s nothing wrong with stopping something you’re no longer passionate about or choosing to explore other areas of interest. But, do that too much, and you’ll never get to travel to that place where only the smallest of percentages get to.

What you pick doesn’t matter per se… what matters is that you pick.

And that you give what you pick your absolute best shot… through thick and thin… when it’s sunny outside and when it’s rainy… when you’re feeling lazy and when you’re feeling on top of the world… when you’re feeling low and when you’re feeling unstoppable…

Traveling the distance is what gives us roots. It’s what gives us depth. It’s what gives us wisdom.

Miyamoto Musashi said, “To know ten thousand things, know one well.” …And this is what he means.

Go deep in one specific domain and the rest of the universe reveals itself. Submit to your lazy nature and dilly dally your way from one thing to the next to the next… and you’ll forever only understand what’s on the surface.

Who Is A Rich Person?

Published on June 7, 2024

…This is the question we’ve been discussing this week at the martial arts school I teach at.

Some of the student answers we received ranged from, “Someone who has a lot of money” to “Someone who has a lot of kindness” to “Someone who has a lot of friends” to “Someone who has a big house and fancy car” to “Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos” etc.

And after discussing those answers, the answer we offered for the students to reflect on was, “Someone who appreciates all they have.”

…If your mind immediately goes to rich by comparison, then you’ll always be poor.

There will always be someone out there who has more money, more luxury items, more connections, more resources, more privileges, etc. Always.

And this is the trap so many of us fall into when we equate richness to being about what we have in comparison to.

Richness, I’d encourage you to consider, has nothing to do with comparison.

Richness has everything to do with perspective. It’s a feeling that can be cultivated—not a title earned from a number of zeros.

And once we realize this and can start actively cultivating that feeling of richness in our lives via appreciation, gratitude, mindfulness—suddenly the game we’re playing changes.

…Suddenly we get to step off the hamster wheel we’ve been trained to run on (the one that only speeds up and gets harder the harder we speed up and run)—and get to start soaking it all in instead. With each step… each conversation… each touch… each smile… each exchange along the way.

P.s. I also published: 20 Heavy Michelle Zauner Quotes from Crying In H Mart on Cancer and Grief

Currently NOT Crushing My Goals

Published on June 3, 2024

I’ve been having a hard time creating outside of these daily 1-minute posts.

My new year resolutions were to write one additional longer form article each week, create two new digital product guides, and create my first ever video course.

I have barely made any progress at all on the latter two goals and have published only a handful of new, longer form articles since the new year.

The feeling I’m having is one of being too wrung out—like a sponge who has been squeezed too tightly and is only left with a dampness and a slow trickle of fresh water to re-soak with.

I can think back to times when I was creating easily. Busting out longer form articles almost daily… creating guides with volumes of enthusiasm… building digital ideas well into the night—even on weekends and holidays.

Which isn’t what I’m feeling now. And I’m learning to be accepting and mindful of it so as to not stop showing up or quitting—this is a comfort zone trick—but to keep showing up anyway while simultaneously feeling every bit of what I’m feeling.

This is the real trick: to merge with what you create so that what you create can help make you. Every part of the journey matters. No part should be skipped. Now is the time for a heavier focus on refilling. Soon, it’ll be time for another season of wringing. This is what the mindfulness and acceptance allows… a complete cycle.

…Which might be worth considering if your art is chronically incomplete.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Secret To Better Self-Control

Published on June 2, 2024

One of the best pieces of advice I can offer for building better self-control is to prepare better alternatives.

The thing to understand is that if you say to yourself, “Don’t eat the cookies” the mind doesn’t hear the “don’t”—it just hears “cookies” over and over again.

…And it’ll keep wearing away at your self-control until you cave in.

Better would be to have a solid alternative ready that you can shift your focus to when you need it, on demand. For example, rather than “not eat cookies” being the focus, eat a protein bar with peanut butter on top instead (what I do). Or if you want to control yourself from eating anything additional at all, get into a book or task asap so that your mind can shift away from the thing you’re trying to avoid.

The secret to better self-control is in the speed—the quicker you can begin an alternative, the less willpower you’ll drain and the more you’ll have for other things later.

Another example: today I took a sticky note and wrote at the top, “Instead of socials:” and underneath started a list of things I can do on-demand when I’m feeling lazy and like I want to browse mindlessly. I listed things like “RV” (to search for an upcoming trip), “Posters” (to create for MMQ), “Philly D” (a news show I watch), etc.

Which might sound silly, but is kind of what I need when I’m feeling lazy and mindless. No thinking, just look, type, and go.

Bottom line: when you’re under a spell of desire (cookies, socials, etc), easy is everything… because easy is fast… and fast is the secret.

Ripple Here First

Published on May 31, 2024

Start by taking care of yourself—physically, mentally, emotionally…

Everything after this step is counterproductive if this first step isn’t done right.

If it is done right, then, focus on taking care of your environment… physically, aesthetically, organizationally…

These first two steps are intimately intertwined. As the saying goes, don’t go complaining about the world until your own house is in order. Systemize your chores. Tend to your gardens. Repair what’s broken. This will elevate who you attract back into your life which will further compliment self-care. Only after this is done right, should you extend your efforts further.

Continue by taking care of your family (by birth or choice)… seek to help them physically, mentally, emotionally… these are the closest people to you in your life and rightfully, should get the majority of your energy and focus. Add value. Offer gifts. Share experiences. Proceed to the next wave only after this wave is satisfied.

Next, carry the ripple outward by taking care of your friends, acquaintances, clients, closest community members, further away societal members, worldly neighbors, etc… offer them what value, gifts, and support you can with what’s left over from above.

Jumping to this step while your family suffers or while your house falls into disarray is backwards. First things first. Get the origins of your ripples in order. Initiate all waves from the core of your being and let the power of the ripple be felt proportionally outward from there. To initiate waves from the other side of the world leaves you with only the tiniest of ripples in return.

…Which only reduces the energy you’ll be able to put into the next one (and so on).