Category: Making A Difference

One of the best things you can do for a business (outside of giving them your business) is leave them a positive review.

This is one of the—if not the—top criteria people who have never been to the business use to determine whether or not to come.

Only a small percentage of people will actually leave a review… but everybody, at the least, subconsciously reviews everything all the time.

And each of those reviews adds up to what society might say is the businesses success at doing business.

Think about how this might relate to you.

While we aren’t getting physically reviewed, per se, we’re always getting, at the very least, subconsciously reviewed.

And each of those reviews adds up to what society might say is the person’s ability to contribute.

And not just from a value add perspective (like running a business that adds more societal value than what it charges)—I mean from a character perspective.

Are you averaging a high score from all of the positive interactions you’re having with all of those whom you cross paths with throughout your day? Or are you averaging a low one?

The goal with this exercise isn’t to get you thinking that every interaction should be transactional and with the goal of eliciting a great review.

The goal should be to get you thinking about how you treat those who can’t do anything for you… the overwhelming number of people you cross paths with on a daily basis whom you don’t even consciously notice… the people who trigger and irritate you, etc…

…What would you say your overall average review score is?

There are opportunities for good in everything we do.

• We could go for a walk. Or we could go for a walk with a trash bag and pick up street garbage along the way.
• We could post a selfie. Or we could comment thoughtful and kind things on other people’s selfies/posts.
• We could make dinner for ourselves. Or we could make a little extra for our neighbors.
• We could do our job and leave. Or we could do a little extra and help another employee out.
• We could have a party and spoil ourselves. Or we could have a party with a purpose and point resources/efforts towards a charity or cause.
• We could read a book. Or we could read a book and start a conversation, share our favorite insights/quotes throughout, or lend it to someone who you think would really benefit from reading it.

This isn’t to say you should always do things in this way.

…Sometimes, you just need to go for a damn walk or read the damn book.

But other times… what you might really be missing, that you might not even realize, is this simple addition of good in these tasks you’re already doing daily.

…The opportunity is already there. All it takes is a pinch of added intention.

If the martial artists who founded the styles I practice kept everything they learned to themselves… and the art died with them… even if they were incredibly successful as individuals… would this be a success?

If the experts who have innovated, built, and molded the world into what it eventually became… instead decided to innovate, build, and mold only their own property and personal world… and all of their knowledge, wisdom, and insight died with them… would this be a success?

If the greatest artists who have ever lived, across every domain, never shared their art, creations, or techniques with a broader audience… and instead only hung the fruits of their labor within the walls of their own homes… and it all died with them… would this be a success?

…My thought is that there’s no shame in living a private life. But it’s also hard to imagine success without contribution and/or a carried on legacy.

Most of the success metrics people chase in our modern world do nothing for succession—and only but tickle our egos. But, if we can change that and focus on real contribution… and on teaching people how to fish rather than just on how we can leave them bigger and bigger piles of fish after we’re gone… maybe our daily efforts won’t leave behind that sometimes questionable/ fishy smell.

When you’re feeling strong, remember what it was like to feel weak. For using your strength to help the weak is one of the best uses of strength.

When you’re feeling calm, remember what it was like to feel anxious. For using your calm to help the anxious is one of the best uses of calm.

When you’re feeling joyous, remember what it was like to feel upset. For using your joy to help the upset is one of the best uses of joy.

When you’re feeling outgoing, remember what it was like to feel lonely. For using initiative to help the lonely is one of the best uses of outgoing.

When you’re feeling fulfilled, remember what it was like to feel empty. For using fulfillment to pour into the empty is one of the best uses of fullness.

What I want you to read in the above statements is that we have all experienced all of the above. Not in permanent ways, but in fleeting ways. And so it will continue.

The best thing we can do within the fleeting moments of our days is (1) do things that have the best chance of resulting in the more desired states, (2) be mindful enough to recognize these states when they arrive, (3) be more deliberate in how we pay these desired states forward.

…Because it won’t be long until you find yourself in one of the lesser desired states once again. And intentionally circulating good karma is an excellent strategy for helping not only others… but your future self, too.

One of my martial arts instructors asked me what my thoughts were on another instructor’s decreased presence because of an increased presence elsewhere and outside of the academy.

…He was concerned this instructor may choose to walk a different career path and very much wanted him to choose martial arts as his career path.

My response was simple… “Let him.”

I’ve worked with high performers my whole professional life and I know that high performers within the academy are most likely high performers elsewhere as well—and this is a beautiful thing.

The mentality should never be to stop them from exploring other areas of interest or guilt them into making martial arts the exclusive focus in their life.

The mentality should be to make our art and career so appealing and exciting that they choose us over the alternatives willingly and full-heartedly.

Because if they don’t choose us willingly, then they’re going to build up resentment. And half-hearted mixed with resentment is a bad formula for any kind of a long term partnership.

…And I’m not just talking about jobs.

…Is a powerful mantra to help guide you through days filled with difficult, annoying, lethargic, frustrating, unjust type people (and more).

A coworker hit you with a bunch of negative energy? Hit them back with a bunch of the opposite. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Eating highly processed fast food a norm in your family? Lead by example and prepare wholesome, easy, nutrient dense meals. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Find yourself in a situation where something wrong is happening and everybody around you is a bystander? Stand up and speak out. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Did you hate the way somebody taught you (or tried to teach you) a lesson? Teach that lesson to somebody else in a way you would’ve loved to have learned it. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Hate how divisive news, media, and politics is making our society? Turn it all off and volunteer at a local nonprofit or soup kitchen—something that’ll connect you to other humans regardless of their background, beliefs, or political standing. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Now go ahead and write this on your bathroom mirror or save it as the background of your phone. And keep it at the forefront of your mind so you can help us not only set… but raise the standard.

This is my neighbor (Image link if it doesn’t show above).

I don’t know how old she is, but my guess is well into her 90s. Her spine has her hunched over almost a full 90 degrees and she’s more blind and deaf than she is seeing and hearing.

Today, she ventured over to my house and we had a quick chat. A lot of what she was saying didn’t make sense, but, I carried on with her at a decibel loud enough for all of the immediate neighbors to hear. Once finished, she turned to leave and I followed her home.

…What I found interesting is right as she turned the corner from her driveway onto her front porch walkway, she noticed out of the corner of her downward pointed gaze a flower pot and a weed. She reached into the flower pot and pruned away the dead branches… took a few more steps, grabbed the weed that was as tall as her, bent it to the ground and stomped on it until it snapped.

…And yet, just a few moments earlier, when we were talking in my driveway, she told me that if she died, her house would go to her son and daughter—which, she said as casually as she did their names—”might be tonight.”

…And yet, there she was, still tending to her garden; still bringing beauty to the world; still managing what worldly chaos she could in the best way she knew how.