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Category: Inspiring Others

Leadership Isn’t About Answers

Published on December 13, 2024

In regards to leading others, one lesson I’m realizing more and more is that it has so much less to do with giving answers and so much more to do with asking better questions, presenting interesting ideas, creating space for connection and creativity, acting as a source for accountability, being the one who goes first, and encouraging others to take opportunities that they otherwise might not know about or feel good enough to do.

…Because, man, leadership becomes so much easier when you realize you don’t always have to have all the answers.

I Was Being Selfish

Published on December 9, 2024

There’s a major martial arts tournament happening this upcoming weekend in Toronto, Canada.

And one of the biggest draws for this tournament is that they’re offering around 15-20 full one hour seminars with the best of the best in the sports martial arts world—that are all FREE for competitors.

Recognizing the unbelievable value in this, I immediately started to make plans where I could go for the seminars and have my instructors cover for me (teaching classes at our martial arts school), and then come back to run the school and cover for them while they went down to compete.

But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized… I was being selfish.

I wanted to go to the seminars so that I could come back and teach them all that I learned—and be the bearer of knowledge.

When really, I should be taking myself out as the middle man and allowing them to go and get the information first hand. They’re the ones who are competing and they’re the ones who are on the “come up” part of their journey.

I’ve had my time to compete in these tournaments and attend these types of seminars. It’s time for me to check my ego and humbly step aside so they can experience what I fell in love with first hand.

And besides, even if I retaught every seminar verbatim when I got back, it still wouldn’t be anything like the original experience. First hand learning will always blow second hand learning out of the water.

…And if I (we) really cared about our team’s growth, we’d be willing to make some sacrifices to prove it.

Paving The Way Towards Memories

Published on November 9, 2024

An associate of mine pointed out that what we were doing today—by preparing our martial arts students for tournaments and demos—was paving the way for them towards what will hopefully become some of their most fond memories in life.

When we—at least for this associate and I—think back to our days of doing tournaments and martial arts demonstrations, we get all giddy inside and start to fan-boy over some of our favorite big moments.

…Moments we didn’t even realize would become some of our most fond that other instructors paved for us.

…And what a privilege to be able to lead others towards something that may very well end up being the same for them and their lives.

Inner Work Prompt: What are some of the most fond memories of your life? How can you pave the way for an experience like that for others?

Unlocking The Door Of Other People’s Mind

Published on November 1, 2024

It’s a pretty special moment when you see somebody have an epiphany.

And it’s even more special when it happens as a result of something you did.

The reason it’s so special is because up until that moment… nobody else had been able to (or had tried to) communicate or convey the information in a way that led to understanding.

It’s as though, finally, somebody understood them and the information well enough that they were able to mold it into the key that, finally, unlocked the door of their mind.

Which is exactly what it is sometimes—a very specific key that opens a very specific lock.

What most people try to do once they know the information, is shove it into mind doors—and hope it somehow forces it open. Or assume that the information is a single key that’ll unlock all minds.

…Nope.

The real key, pun intended, is seeking to understand the lock—the other person—well enough. Once you build rapport, hear some of their perspective, understand their learning style, observe how they act and interact in different situations, and do a little iteration via trial and error—it’s as though the teeth of the key start to form themselves.

But, just because you know the info, doesn’t mean you can make just anybody have an epiphany… it takes real patience, empathy, and curiosity to make that happen.

…Something you might think about as you head into your day with SO MUCH INFORMATION to share.

Candles Aren’t Made For Boxes

Published on October 25, 2024

It doesn’t matter how many other wicks the unlit candle touches—or for how long—the unlit candle won’t light any others.

The candle would be much better off forgetting about the other wicks and focusing on lighting its own.

…And there’s no shortage of fire sources in this world.

It’s just that, oftentimes, the candle becomes too preoccupied admiring the flame of others… it gets self-conscious and fearful about what others might think about how it burns from its wick… it decides it might be better off staying inside its box and watching the other candles from afar.

…But, candles aren’t made for boxes.

Candles are made for lighting.

And not only do lit candles combat the world’s darkness… but, they lose nothing by lighting the wicks of others… and compared to the unlit candle’s work, leads to exponential returns.

Gandhi on Asking A Child To Stop Eating Sugar

Published on October 16, 2024

A woman once came to Gandhi with her child, concerned about her child’s habit of eating too much sugar.

Knowing how much her child respected Gandhi, she asked him, ‘Could you please tell my daughter to stop eating sugar?’ 

Gandhi listened and then replied, ‘Please come back in two weeks.’ 

The woman and her child returned two weeks later.

This time, Gandhi simply told the child, ‘Please do not eat sugar.’ 

Grateful, the mother thanked him, but she couldn’t help asking, ‘Why did we need to wait two weeks for you to say that?’ 

Gandhi said, ‘Two weeks ago, I was eating sugar.’“

Inner work prompt: What are you asking others to do that you aren’t doing yourself? Ask yourself: how can I get to a place where I can say what I want others to do without saying a word.

Misfit Inspiration

Published on March 14, 2024

When I finally agreed to play basketball with a new group of guys—I was nervous.

I hadn’t ever played basketball on a team and had no formal training or experience. I rarely watched games or any kind of tutorial video.

All I had was what I learned playing pick-up ball in driveways and parks at various times throughout my life and a pretty solid fitness baseline.

What I saw when I first showed up was a group of guys who were organized and experienced. They were calling picks and plays and communicating things that sounded like a different language to me—and they were all good.

But, of everybody on the court playing, one guy stood out to me.

He was shorter, didn’t have the cleanest technique, and wasn’t the most talented—but he played like he belonged. And later, I came to find out he was one of the group organizers who had been playing for years and years with this squad.

Of everybody on that court, he was the one who inspired me the most. Not the most skilled player; not the best shooter; and not the player who could dunk—but, the player who I could relate to the most.

This was a really important lesson for me. You don’t have to be the best in the game to inspire and you don’t have to be the most talented to play. And even if you don’t look the part—it’s acting the part that makes all the difference.

So to the people out there who are doing things despite mismatching societal norms—thank you. Y’all are far more inspiring than you might ever know.