Category: Inspiring Others

Yes… it’s for them. But more importantly, it’s for you.

If you sacrifice your art, ideas, direction, excitement, curiosity, and truth… because you think it needs to look, feel, act, behave, present to an audience in a certain way… then you’ve lost.

Period. Point blank.

And you’ll soon feel lost. And as a result you’ll eventually lose them anyway.

The thing about audiences is that they should evolve with you.

As you continue to share new ideas, pivot directions, change excitements, explore fresh curiosities, and discuss alternate truths… some people will leave. But more importantly, new people will arrive.

…Just as past versions of you will be shed as new skins/identities will grow.

This is a natural part of the self-evolution process. And it should be embraced equally as a part of the audience-evolution process.

This is how you win.

Because every day is aligned and becoming more and more aligned both within and without.

And after a decade of this? How could you not win?

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P.s. Struggling with creativity? Try getting more bored.

A friend called me tonight and was telling me how he felt weird being thanked for big changes he made in people’s lives… from what felt like small moments of coaching he had with them.

He said it really didn’t feel like much at all for him to stay after a martial arts class and work with people for a few moments here and there…

…And for them to come to him later on—weeks, months, or even years later—and tell him how much of an impact it made on them felt—disproportional.

But, what I told him is that it isn’t the length of the moment that makes the impact on students…

…It’s the depth of energy and attention that’s brought into those moments.

Because there’s a distinct difference between a long, half-hearted effort and a short, full life-force one.

…All it takes is a one degree difference in a plane’s trajectory to have it land in an entirely different country given enough time.

…And the same is true in this example.

We’re not changing people’s lives in the coaching moments themselves—but we ARE changing their direction (or at least that’s the goal). And then they’re changing their lives by following that slightly altered path given enough time. And THIS is the way any real change in other people’s lives is done.

When the student is ready—the teacher arrives…

And when the teacher is ready (to fully commit)—THAT is how and why a student thrives.

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P.s. I wrote a 30-day guide that’ll help you build unshakable confidence in your life’s direction. Deets here.

I invited a young martial arts student of mine onto my school’s Leadership Team tonight.

…And yet she is one of the most soft-spoken students in the entire school.

She doesn’t project her voice or speak with conviction… she doesn’t try to claim the spotlight or do things that give off “main character” energy… and she definitely doesn’t cause a ruckus or make sweeping impacts on the vibe of an entire class…

And some of you might be confused by this… because isn’t that what leaders do?

But, I learned long ago that leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less.

And what I’ve noticed is that she’s always on top of her curriculum… and people tend to go to her for help… and she’s one of the first people I go to when I need help helping another student… she comes in early and stays late… she’s selfless and takes above and beyond initiatives to help her family, our school, and even other charities… and she always influences the class with a warm, focused, committed energy that may not sweep up every student… but definitely impacts a few each time.

My intention sharing this with you today is to remind you that leadership doesn’t always have to look like what you might see at the top of our local, regional, and national social hierarchies. Leadership is influence. And if there are people around you who are influencing others to act in a way that you (or your organization) would love to have them act… maybe you should consider acknowledging that person, too.

“The job of the teacher is to create the conditions for the student to explore their incompetence long enough to learn something useful.”

Seth Godin

The job of the teacher isn’t to make the student feel bad about their incompetence. Nor is it their job to paint incompetence as a kind of failure. And it’s definitely not about creating conditions where the student feels worse about their incompetence than when they started.

The job of the teacher, as Seth outlines above (and is worth stating again), is to create the conditions for the student to explore their incompetence long enough to learn something useful.

The job of the teacher is to spark a curiosity about an incompetence and show the student where competence could lead them. The job of the teacher is to make the student feel safe, seen, and heard and create the type of environment that allows for experimentation, mistakes, and expression (for growth isn’t possible without them). The job of the teacher is to inspire the student to want to come back to another session after each one is finished—to be future focused and not overly zealous at the current one.

And whether you want to admit it or not—what all of us need to come to terms with is—we’re all teachers. And each of us is either helping those around us learn something useful… or we’re—either knowingly or unknowingly—facilitating incompetence.

…Who are the students in your life?

Another observation from meeting my sister’s favorite people yesterday…

They all met each other through work—as waitresses, hostesses, and bartenders at a local fine dining restaurant—and all commented on how much they loved their job versus other places they’ve worked.

When I asked them why they loved it so much, they all replied that it was the owner that made the difference.

He trusted them to do their job(s) and wouldn’t micromanage, was always fair and kind, and would always tell them that they were his top priority—not the customers.

And by focusing on his key people, of course, his key people were able to focus on the customers. When you hire the right people, wanting to succeed is a given… focusing on nurturing the absolute best environment possible and giving them the tools they need to succeed should be that hirer’s top priority from that point forward.

…Undermining them, spreading toxicity, and cutting out their legs—even if it’s what the customer wants—is not what the business needs.

In regards to leading others, one lesson I’m realizing more and more is that it has so much less to do with giving answers and so much more to do with asking better questions, presenting interesting ideas, creating space for connection and creativity, acting as a source for accountability, being the one who goes first, and encouraging others to take opportunities that they otherwise might not know about or feel good enough to do.

…Because, man, leadership becomes so much easier when you realize you don’t always have to have all the answers.