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Category: Happiness and Joy

Content vs. Complacent

Published on June 2, 2022

They are not the same thing.

Both have to do with acceptance, but in completely different ways.

Being content is accepting that what’s here is enough *and* taking a step forward along the hiking trail towards growth.

Being complacent is accepting that what’s here is enough *and* avoiding the hiking trail altogether to sit on the couch and watch TV.

It’s completely possible to be content *and* travel forward on a journey. Not because what’s here isn’t enough—but, because traveling forward on a journey is precisely how growth happens.

When you let content turn into complacency, you start to regress. Your awareness fades. Your comfort zone collapses in around you and suffocates your brain.

And eventually, because of a lack of growth, what’s “enough” will start to turn gray, dull, lackluster, unappealing, and unfulfilling.

And what will be left is not a lack of “enough,” but a lack of awareness that allows you to truly appreciate all that you have.

It’s precisely the challenge associated with growth that gives you the contrast needed to appreciate the enough.

And don’t take my word for it.

Take yourself through a really hard workout—one that’s harder than normal. Make it so that you’re truly exhausted by the end of it. And then take a sip of water.

It’s the same sip of water you always take—but, I guarantee, the sip after that killer workout will taste a helluva lot better than the other.

P.s. Today, I hosted a LIVE talk on Creating (not waiting for) Happiness and it was amazing. Listen to the playback here (~2 hours long & worth every minute).

A Recipe For Happiness

Published on June 1, 2022

I think happiness is a recipe.

One that is unique to each individual person.

Wait for the ingredients to cook themselves and you’ll be waiting an awful long-time.

Rush the cooking process and you’ll burn, contort, abuse, and otherwise mess up the meal.

There’s an art to cooking just like there’s an art to happiness.

And just like a chef would bring a level of presence and care to the kitchen when prepping meals, you too need to bring that same kind of energy to the preparation of your happiness in life.

One of my personal favorite recipes for happiness is:

  • 8 cups (hours) of sleep
  • 6 cups of teaching
  • 2 cups of writing
  • 2 cups of connecting
  • 1 cup of exercise
  • 1 cup of reading
  • .5 cups of meditation

With 3.5 cups of space left (in the day) to work with.

Mixed altogether and served with some sprinkles of spontaneity on top.

And it’s a formula that I loosely follow each day.

What you have to figure out for yourself is, what does your recipe consist of?

And are you preparing your batch of happiness fresh every day? Or are you trying to eat from stale batches of happiness that was prepared long ago?

Are you waiting for the ingredients to combine themselves? Are you rushing as you prepare your meals? Or are you taking your time and approaching your craft like a chef would?

Of all the recipes you have memorized in your life, this might be one of the most important to not only memorize—but to internalize.

Happiness Masks

Published on April 12, 2022

Superficial happiness is a smiling mask that’s put over an unhappy face.

It can be quite convincing, too.

Not because people aren’t good at distinguishing masks versus faces—but because most people are wearing masks themselves.

And calling out your mask puts into question the mask they’re wearing.

…And most of us don’t want to talk about the face that’s hidden under our masks.

It’s precisely why we put masks on in the first place.

And so we carry on smiling and nodding at other people’s masks while we discreetly hide our upset and frown through our own. And that becomes a sort of accepted and forgotten about norm.

Every now and again though, we sit down with a person and they actually take their mask off.

Not to burden us. Not to complain. Not to shower sadness on our superficial happiness.

But, to share what’s real. To express something deeper than a portrayal of happiness. To give their vulnerabilities some space to breathe out from under the tight compression of plastic pressed up against their cheeks and forehead.

And what’s interesting is that the people who tend to wear their happiness masks less, and are able to share and express what’s real to them more, are often the ones who experience deeper joy as a result.

Because the byproduct of wearing a superficial mask of happiness—isn’t happiness.

Happiness is the byproduct of connecting more deeply to (and better understanding) ourselves.

Shortcut To Happiness

Published on October 24, 2021

No person has the power to satisfy unlimited desire.

Everyone, however, has the power to not desire what they don’t have and thoroughly enjoy what they already do.

Want a shortcut to happiness?

This is it.