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Category: Experiential Living

You Can’t Steer A Stationary Ship

Published on February 23, 2021

“You can’t steer a stationary ship.”

Nicolas Cole, Twitter

I remember as a kid, sitting in the driver’s seat of my parent’s car and pretending to drive. My little hands would hang on the steering wheel as I would speed down the streets and drift through turns with Fast & Furious precision. Contrast that with what was actually happening and you would’ve laughed as you saw little me making exhaust noises with my mouth and yanking on the immovable steering wheel.

Put that car in motion, however, and the steering wheel loosens right up. You could drive with your pinky fingers if you wanted to—although I would strongly advise against that. It’s motion that gives us the power to direct. Idleness is what takes that power away. And even with all of our might, child or adult, we can’t steer a parked car. Which is exactly what so many of us are trying to do with the cars of our lives: we’re living our dreams in our heads.

We plan and plot and envision and goal set and try to come up with the perfect course that will take us precisely from where we are to where we want to be. And we’re also sitting in our cars, hanging from the steering wheel, making exhaust noises with our mouths, and whipping through turns with Fast and Furious precision. We’re trying to drive a parked car. And you wonder why people giggle sometimes when they hear you?

Course correction can only happen when you’re on a course. You can’t adjust the direction of a single dot plotted on a map. You need a second dot, a plot of where the dot has moved to, in order to understand and adjust the trajectory. And so it is with all of your goals and aspirations in life. You get there by driving your car—steering your ship—in the direction of your dreams and making adjustments as you go. As you experience the world and as you get feedback from your actions.

The journey never works out to be the straight line that we envision in our heads anyways. There are always unaccounted for (and many times spontaneous) twists and turns and bumps and driving hazards that come up. Thankfully, straight isn’t the only direction forward and there’s a steering wheel that comes with the car of your life that you can use to navigate those obstacles. So long as you keep your car in drive, that is.

Understanding The “Compass” Of Your Life

Published on February 20, 2021

“None of us can adequately control the meteorology of other people: they’re nice, they’re nasty, they come, they go. We have no choice but to address, alter and amend the inner coordinate if we want to have a different model of reality, if we want to have more choices.”

Russell Brand, via MoveMe Quotes

We all have an internal compass. A guiding needle that points each of us uniquely forward towards our “magnetic north”: our best self; our best life; our best path forward given our circumstances. A needle that’s made up of our values, morals, principles, character, and experiences.

But, like when a strong enough magnet comes near, our inner coordinate can mistakingly lock on to another person’s coordinate and can cause our needle to turn in the wrong direction—towards someone else’s magnetic north rather than our own.

Objectively speaking, when all emotions and attractions are taken out of the picture, I think we all are in tune with the direction of our inner compass. We know what we have to do to become our best selves, lead our best lives, and what next steps we need to take to keep moving forward. But, we’re not objective.

We’re deeply emotional, easily distracted, and weak against attraction. And when the magnetic pull of another person draws us in, we succumb to the model of reality as they see it and lose control over the direction of our own lives.

But, to be fair, this isn’t something that’s always immediately obvious to us. Like when you’re following your compass and something “kind of” doesn’t feel right, but you tell yourself you’re just being paranoid.

Until, eventually, you realize that the needle has, indeed, been off the whole time because of a magnetic disturbance. It’s a slow realization.

A realization that usually starts in your gut. And if you feel that something is (or might be) off in your gut, that instinct should be honored and investigated. Because what you might find is that what’s making you feel “off” isn’t something arbitrary or random, but rather an undetected attraction in a direction that’s actually just off from your magnetic north.