Don’t be scared of bad judgment.
It’s where all of your good judgment comes from.
Be scared of not exercising your judgment at all.
It’s where bad judgment remains unchanged.
I help busy people do inner work.
Don’t be scared of bad judgment.
It’s where all of your good judgment comes from.
Be scared of not exercising your judgment at all.
It’s where bad judgment remains unchanged.
Living your dream life won’t happen accidentally, just like becoming a black belt won’t happen accidentally.
It won’t happen just because you want it to.
It won’t happen even if you beg it to.
Living a life of your dreams—becoming a black belt—only happens on purpose.
And not just after being on purpose for one day, one month, or even one year.
Trying to balance the entire weight of your lifetime on such a small foundation of purposeful action isn’t realistic. Solid foundations take time.
And unless there’s a solid foundation, a quickly-realized-life-of-your-dreams will quickly collapse.
So, rather than trying to hack your way to a six-figure passive income—commit to the long-term game you’re playing and learn how to love playing the game.
Because what you’ll eventually realize is that loving the game is more closely related to living the life of your dreams than “winning” the game ever will be.
A good litmus test to gauge whether you’re in alignment with your life’s task or not:
If you retired today, with enough money to last you for the rest of your life, would you keep doing the work you’re doing?
If yes, you’re in alignment. And if you’re able to sustain a suitable life for yourself doing that work, then keep on keeping on! That’s an exciting place to be where the focus can simply be on growing your skills and expanding your impact.
If no, you’re out of alignment. Here’s the thing: maybe you’re doing crappy work for great money? Maybe you have dependents to support? Maybe the money is the means to a better end? Maybe you live an expensive lifestyle?
Here’s my warning: while some of the above mentioned situations might be true for you and your life, what’s also true is that your work is how you’re going to spend a heaping chunk of your life’s time. And if you’re not careful, you might end up retiring with a lifetime trail of unenthused, unimportant, unfulfilled work.
Maybe it’d be better to do great work for crappier money? Maybe you could start a side-hustle to experiment with other, more fulfilling work? Maybe it’s time to set a concrete date when you’re going to make the leap to fulfilling work—rather than leave it at some obscure point in the future? Maybe you could live a more modest lifestyle?
Maybe life isn’t best saved for retirement—maybe the retired life is best lived now?
What’s more important, watching your back or watching your step?
If your goal is to avoid pain, then watching your back would be the priority. You’d pay close attention to your vulnerabilities. You’d caution yourself around people and take your time looking for their conniving sides. You wouldn’t give people anything they could later use to hurt you with. You’d constantly be looking for ways to build bigger and stronger walls. You’d play it safe.
If your goal is to keep moving forward, then you’d prioritize watching your step. You’d pay close attention to your strengths. You’d check the rooms you’re in for opportunities, paths, directions—and you’d take your time looking for the fun in people. You’d give people anything that might help them keep moving forward because it, in all likelihood, would help you keep moving forward, too. You’d play.
Here’s the thing: are you less likely to get hurt playing it safe? Of course. Playing it safe—watching your back—is like sitting on the bench while at the playground. It’s the place where you’re least likely to get hurt. You’re positioned ideally to keep everybody in front of you, your chances of accidental bumpings/ bruises/ or bangs are minimized, and you can focus your attention solely on safety. But, is that really your life goal? To sit on the bench while staring at a playground?
Here’s what I think: when there’s a playground in front of you—you go and play. Playing is exploration. It’s interaction. It’s experimentation. It’s conflict resolution. It’s problem solving. It’s getting bumped/ bruised/ and banged—and getting back up. It’s having fun. And so it is with life, too. The point isn’t to not get hurt; the point is to play. Not to play it safe looking backwards, but to play joyfully with eyes eagerly forward.
“None of us can adequately control the meteorology of other people: they’re nice, they’re nasty, they come, they go. We have no choice but to address, alter and amend the inner coordinate if we want to have a different model of reality, if we want to have more choices.”
Russell Brand, via MoveMe Quotes
We all have an internal compass. A guiding needle that points each of us uniquely forward towards our “magnetic north”: our best self; our best life; our best path forward given our circumstances. A needle that’s made up of our values, morals, principles, character, and experiences.
But, like when a strong enough magnet comes near, our inner coordinate can mistakingly lock on to another person’s coordinate and can cause our needle to turn in the wrong direction—towards someone else’s magnetic north rather than our own.
Objectively speaking, when all emotions and attractions are taken out of the picture, I think we all are in tune with the direction of our inner compass. We know what we have to do to become our best selves, lead our best lives, and what next steps we need to take to keep moving forward. But, we’re not objective.
We’re deeply emotional, easily distracted, and weak against attraction. And when the magnetic pull of another person draws us in, we succumb to the model of reality as they see it and lose control over the direction of our own lives.
But, to be fair, this isn’t something that’s always immediately obvious to us. Like when you’re following your compass and something “kind of” doesn’t feel right, but you tell yourself you’re just being paranoid.
Until, eventually, you realize that the needle has, indeed, been off the whole time because of a magnetic disturbance. It’s a slow realization.
A realization that usually starts in your gut. And if you feel that something is (or might be) off in your gut, that instinct should be honored and investigated. Because what you might find is that what’s making you feel “off” isn’t something arbitrary or random, but rather an undetected attraction in a direction that’s actually just off from your magnetic north.